But you know what I've learned in my seven years here at Coolidge... Timmy? I've learned that you can't treat every situation as a life-and-death matter because you'll die a lot of times. Write that down.
I don't have a pen.
Well remember that then. And you know something, Timmy? I think you've got the balls to make it here. Call me nuts, but I believe in you.
I would like very much to spend my remaining days here as your assistant.
Okay, we're just going do a little word association. Say the first thing that comes to your mind. Milk.
Tit! Oh, mommy. Most Indians would say "cow" because they are sacred, but I hear "milk," I think giant jugs. You see, I cannot go home a virgin. I came here to study the great American art of muff diving. To smack clam, munch rug, dine at just one American pink taco stand! You know, I wanted to, how is it, park the porpoise. You know? I want to take it through the car wash, baby. And get it waxed. I want to wax it. Wax it! You know, and air dry. Air dry that shit, yeah! And I would like to be your assistant very much, Mr. Van Wilder.
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"Van Wilder Quotes." Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 30 May 2020. <https://www.quotes.net/movies/van_wilder_quotes_12208>.