The 40 Year Old Virgin2005

Jill:
Are you Andy?

Andy Stitzer:
Uh... yeah.

Jill:
[holds up Jay's card] Is this yours? Did you write this stuff?

Jay:
My girlfriend Jill found *your* speed dating card.

[raises his eyebrows]

Andy Stitzer:
[Covering] Oh! Yeah... right. God, I've been looking for that speed dating card. Thank you so much for bringing it to me.

Jill:
So you actually wrote that one girl looked like she was "hurtin' for a squirtin'"?

Andy Stitzer:
[Stunned] Mmm-hmm... yeah, "hurtin' for a squirtin'". Yeah, I wrote that.

Jill:
Oh, so you wrote, "ho fo' sho'".

Andy Stitzer:
[Embarrassed] Yeah, I remember that girl. She was a ho... for sho'.

Jill:
You are never going to meet anyone with that kind of mentality about women, you sick son of a b*tch!

Andy Stitzer:
Who the... Who the f*** are you to put me on trial? I've never even met you. So why don't you back the sh*t off, all right? And stop with the inquisition.

Jill:
That's how you talk?

Andy Stitzer:
You know what? I don't have to answer to you, you ain't my b*tch! Know what I sayin'? So, sh*t, man... f*** it!

Jill:
[to Jay] You shouldn't even be hanging out with this pervert.

Jay:
I don't hang out with him! I work with him and that's it! I tried to introduce him to a few nice people, he made a fool of himself. I don't mess with him, baby. That's not me.

Andy Stitzer:
You should keep your ho on a leash.

Jay:
Oh, bro, I can't let you talk...

Andy Stitzer:
Hey!

Jay:
I can't let you be talking to my woman that way, dawg.

Andy Stitzer:
Hey, hey! B*tch's running wild, man.