The Relic1997

[Lt. D'Agosta joins the talkative Dr. Zwiezic at the morgue for the autopsy of Frederick Ford]

Dr. Zwiezic:
Lieutenant D'Agosta, it's lovely to see you under such alarming circumstances. 7 decapitations in one week. Don't you just hate someone who only takes head and never gives it?

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
You're bad, Matilda. Real bad.

Dr. Zwiezic:
Autopsy attended by Lieutenant Vincent D'Agosta, Chicago homicide. I heard your ex got custody of the dog.

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
Is it on the goddamn internet?

Dr. Zwiezic:
You shouldn't have been late on your ALPO payments.

[D'Agosta chuckles]

Dr. Zwiezic:
We have an African-American male, probably age 55 - 60. Height 5'4" - with his head maybe 6'1". Weight 160, give or take, if you know what I mean. There are an undetermined number of lacerations proceeding from the left anterior pectoral region downwards through the sternum, terminating at the right anterior abdominal region. Pectoralis minor and pectoralis major are separated to a great degree, and there is spontaneous dehiscence. The sternal process has been split and the ribcage exposed. Now for the head. The head is decapitated between the axial process and the atlas. The entire occipital portion of the calvarium and half the parietal process has been crushed, or rather seemingly punched through and removed, leaving a hole perhaps 5 inches in diameter. The skull is empty. The entire brain appears to have fallen out or been extracted through this hole.

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
Any idea about a weapon?

Dr. Zwiezic:
[Dr. Zwiezic replies dramatically] Something big.

[Lt. D'Agosta chuckles]

Dr. Zwiezic:
The brain is severely traumatized and appears to have been severed at the medulla oblongata. The pons varolii is intact but separate. The cerebrum has been completely separated from the mesencephalon, and... Hey! Hey, wait a minute. This brain is light, even for a man. Something's missing, Lieutenant. Where's the rest of it?

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
We got everything we found.

Dr. Zwiezic:
There is no thalamic region. There is no pituitary gland.

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
What are you talking about?

Dr. Zwiezic:
The thalamus and hypothalamus regulate body temperature, blood pressure, heartbeat. It regulates hundreds of hormones into the bloodstream. Don't you agree, Fred?

Coroner's Assistant:
Yes.

Dr. Zwiezic:
He never shuts up.

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
[Lt. D'Agosta smirks] Hmm.