Bend It Like Beckham2002

[Jess has collapsed on living room couch]

Jess:
Mum, I'm starving. I worked through my lunch hour today.

Mrs. Bhamra:
Where's Pinky? She was supposed to pick you up so you wouldn't be late for Poli. Pinky, why didn't you pick your sister up from work, huh?

Pinky:
I went but the manager said I'd just missed her.

Mrs. Bhamra:
OK, Poli's on her way. I'll make you girls some tea.

[Pinky has taken Jess aside in the living room]

Pinky:
Who is he, then?

Jess:
Who?

Pinky:
You must think I've got sh*t for brains, lying about a job and that!

Jess:
Don't tell Mum and Dad. I kept Teet a secret for you.

Pinky:
He's not a Muslim, is he?

Jess:
Ssh! I've been playing football for a women's team.

Pinky:
Huh? It's worse than I thought!

Jess:
It's a tournament with real matches!

Pinky:
What is wrong with you, Jess? At least lie for something good! Don't you want a boyfriend like everyone else? You're quite pretty you know. Do your hair, some make-up, you'd look all right.

Mrs. Bhamra:
Leave her alone. I never wore make-up until after I was married. Jessie's a good girl now. She helped me wash all the net curtains and she made lovely aloo Gobi last week.

Tailor:
[Measuring Pinky] Waist, 25. Under bust, 28. Bust. 34 and a half.

[Pinky grabs measuring tape and tightens it]

Mrs. Bhamra:
Eh, that's too tight and rude!

Pinky:
No, Mum, I want my choli more fitted. That's the style, innit?

Tailor:
and a half.

Pinky:
No, tighter!

Tailor:
OK!

Mrs. Bhamra:
How are you going to breathe?

Jess:
Mum, why do I have to wear a sari? It will just fall down!

Mrs. Bhamra:
Your first sari is when you become a woman. Sari blouse and petticoat.

Tailor:
So bust. 27.

Jess:
That's too tight. I want it looser.

Mrs. Bhamra:
Dressed in a sack, who's going to notice you, huh?

Tailor:
Don't worry. In one of our designs, even these mosquito bites will look like juicy mangoes!

[All women laugh except Jess]

Tailor:
Under the bust, 31. The waist. 31.

Jess:
I need to buy shoes to go with the sari and the suits.

Pinky:
Come again?

Mrs. Bhamra:
She's coming into line now!

Jess:
I can pay for one pair. Can you pay for the other?

Mrs. Bhamra:
You need one black, and one white, to go with everything.