Disturbing Behavior1998

Gavin:
It's a class system here at CB High, Stevie Boy. Check it out. [points to the car enthusiast students] There, you've got your motor heads, car jocks, all the world's a gasket and a lube job and a pack of Lucky's. Music of choice: Posi-traction overdrive, classic rock, Skynyrd, The Allmans, Bruce. Drug of choice: Beer, Miller Genuine Draft. Keggers can't be choosers.

UV:
Freaks that fix leaks.

Gavin:
[points to the nerdy students] Over here you have your microgeeks... nerds, whiz kids and various other bottom feeders. Music of choice: The sound of an Apple PC booting up. Drug of choice: Stephen Hawking's "A Brief History of Time"... and a cup of jasmine tea on a Saturday night.

UV:
Freaks that go squeak.

Gavin:
[points to the hippie students] Over there you have your skaters. Riffin', raging kids and their ramp tramps. Baggy pants, Dickie wools, doing 50-50 grinds... with a gnarly grab finish on a homemade half-pipe in the woods. Music of choice: The whack of a hackysack. Drug of choice: Ecstasy, E-tab, baby; longer lovin' through science.

UV:
Freaks in sneaks.

Gavin:
Here's where it gets really... nasty. [points to the Blue Ribbons] Lorna runs with that group over there, the Blue Ribbons.

Steve:
What's that?

Gavin:
Community group. Good kids. Have car washes and bake sales and kiss a lot of adult sphincter.

U.V.:
Blue Robots.

Gavin:
Hear, hear. Those three guys are Cradle Bay's answer to Manson, McVeigh and O.J.: Trent Whalen, Andy Effkin, Robby Stewart.

UV:
Hey, I bet you didn't know that toast came in three flavors.

Gavin:
Music of choice: the hum of perfection, the buzz of ambition. Drug of choice: life, the pursuit of clean living at the expense of all who sniffle at the hem of their gowns.

UV:
Freaks so chic.

Gavin:
The you've got kids like me and UV here, those who like their metal heavy, their Marlboro's light. Music of choice...

Gavin and UV:
"Harvester of sorrow, language of the mad."

Gavin:
Drug of choice: what have you got?

UV:
Freaks all week!

[Bell rings]

Gavin:
That's it. Lesson over. Class dismembered. Welcome to Cradle Bay High, Stevie Boy. Welcome to my nightmare.