Spaceballs

Spaceballs1987

Stars: Mel Brooks, John Candy, Ronny Graham, Rick Moranis, Bill Pullman
Genre: Adventure, Comedy, Sci-Fi
Rating: PG (Parental Guidance Suggested)
Runtime: 96 minutes

Mel Brooks's 1987 parody of the Star Wars trilogy is a jumble of jokes rather than a comic feature, and, predictably, some of those jokes work better than others. The cast, including Brooks in two roles, more or less mimics the principal characters … more »



Dark Helmet:
[imitating Dark Helmet doll] So, Princess Vespa, at last I have you in my clutches, to have my way with you, the way I want to!

Dark Helmet:
[Vespa doll] No! No, please, leave me alone!

Dark Helmet:
[Helmet Doll] No, you are mine!

Dark Helmet:
[Lone Starr doll] Not so fast, Helmet!

Dark Helmet:
[Helmet Doll] Lone Starr!

Dark Helmet:
[Lone Starr doll] Yes, it's me, and I'm here to save my girlfriend! Hi, honey!

Dark Helmet:
[Helmet doll] Now you are going to die! [smacks Lone Starr doll with Dark Helmet doll]

Dark Helmet:
[Lone Starr Doll] Oh! Oh! Ohh!

Dark Helmet:
[Barf doll] Hey, what did you do to my friend?!

Dark Helmet:
[Helmet doll] The same thing I'm going to do to you, big boy! [knocks Barf over]

Dark Helmet:
[Barf doll] Arrgh! Ohh!

Dark Helmet:
[Helmet doll] And you, too! [knocks Dot doll over]

Dark Helmet:
[Dot doll] Aaargh!

Dark Helmet:
[Helmet doll] Now, Princess Vespa, at last we are alone!

Dark Helmet:
[Vespa Doll] No, no, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, leave me alone! And yet, I find you strangely attractive.

Dark Helmet:
[Helmet doll] Of course you do. Druish princesses are often attracted to money, and power, and I have both, and you know it!

Dark Helmet:
[Vespa doll] No, I hate you, leave me alone!

Dark Helmet:
[Helmet doll] No, kiss me!

Dark Helmet:
[Vespa doll] No, no, yes.

Dark Helmet:
[Helmet doll] No.

Dark Helmet:
[Vespa doll] Oh, ah, ah, ah, ah, oh, ohh... ohhhh, your helmet is so big.

Colonel Sandurz:
[barges in] Lord Helmet!

Dark Helmet:
[startled, hiding his action figures] WHAT?!

Colonel Sandurz:
You're needed on the bridge, sir!

Dark Helmet:
[unfathomably embarrassed] KNOCK ON MY DOOR! KNOCK NEXT TIME!

Colonel Sandurz:
Yes, sir!

Dark Helmet:
[pause] Did you see anything?

Colonel Sandurz:
No, sir! I didn't see you playing with your dolls again!

Dark Helmet:
Good!

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Submitted by wikidude on November 05, 2019


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    "Spaceballs Quotes." Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 18 Apr. 2024. <https://www.quotes.net/mquote/1197691>.

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