Stars: Will Ferrell, Woody Harrelson, Andre Benjamin, Maura Tierney, Will Arnett
Genre: Comedy, Sport
Rating: R (Restricted)
Runtime: 91 minutes
Oh my God...what the f*** is that, it's incredible! [about the fondue he just ate]
It's called fondue.
Fondue. Three different cheeses, melted together. That's what you're tasting. Gorgonzola, Munster, and cottage.
It's the latest thing from Sweden, apparently.
Well, I'm not surprised; those Swedes are so inventive. [others makes noises of agreement]
They are my favorite producers of pornography.
They do make an excellent f*** picture!
Well, I think I'll excuse myself from this conversation, right now.
To the men's room.
Oh, stop it.
To make your wiener sing...boner machine. [others are laughing]
I am not a boner machine!
Swedish porn saved my life in 'Nam. [others groan] Hey, come on, you guys. Swedish porn was the only thing that kept my mind off Charlie while I was in the shit.
Is the shit in Ann Arbor? Cause that's where you were during the war. [others laugh]
You were never in 'Nam, you jive turkey. [laughter stops]
[coldly] Did you just call me a jive turkey? [Cornelius shakes his head]
No. No, he did not, he uh...he called you cocksucker. Right Cornelius?
Yeah, I just called you cocksucker!
Pretty sure you called me a jive turkey.
No, no, now Lou, nobody called anyone a J.T.
Jive turkey is a little over the line, my man!
Look. We were all here, we all heard what was said, and we're in agreement, Cornelius said cocksucker. Right?
He just said you suck cock!
That's all he said about you!
Come on. Dig into that fondue...little cocksucker. [others laugh]
We like playing games, don't we? [laughing]
It's true, we're playing one right now.
I'm gonna show you guys this game I learned when I was in f***in' 'Nam! [draws a gun and points it at Cornelius] Who's the jive turkey now? [bursts out laughing] Gun's not loaded! [all laugh]
It's not loaded!
You should've seen your goddamn faces! I never load it!
The gun was not loaded!
I'll see you f***ers in hell. [puts gun to his head and pulls trigger; all laugh]
Jackie, "Love Me Sexy" is the worst song I've ever heard. [aims at Jackie and pulls trigger]
I did call you jive turkey. [aims gun at Lou, pulls trigger]
[playfully, pointing gun at Lou] I know you slept with Mrs. Pepperfield! [pulls trigger] Rrragh!
[laughing] We're saying nutty things 'cause they're not true...especially that, more than the rest.
Hey. Bond, James Bond. Eh? [rests gun on forearm]
How do you like your martinis, sir?
Stirred, in a half carafe. [aims gun at crotch and pulls trigger]
He shoots himself!
He shoots himself in the wiener! [tosses gun down and it goes off suddenly]
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