Clerks.

Clerks.1994

Stars: Brian O'Halloran, Jeff Anderson, Marilyn Ghigliotti, Lisa Spoonauer
Genre: Comedy
Rating: R
Runtime: 92 minutes

Before Kevin Smith became a Hollywood darling with Chasing Amy, a film he wrote and directed, he made this $27,000 comedy about real-life experiences working for chump change at a New Jersey convenience store. A rude, foul-mouthed collection of anec… more »



Randal Graves:
So your argument is that title dictates behavior?

Dante Hicks:
What?

Randal Graves:
The reason you won't let me borrow your car is because I have a title and a job description, and I'm supposed to follow it, right?

Dante Hicks:
Exactly.

Tabloid Reading Customer:
I saw one, one time, that said the world was ending the next week. Then in the next week's paper, they said we were miraculously saved at the zero hour by a Koala-fish mutant bird. Crazy sh*t.

Randal Graves:
So I'm no more responsible for my own decisions while I'm here at work than, say, the Death Squad soldiers in Bosnia?

Dante Hicks:
That's stretching it. You're not being asked to slay children or anything.

Randal Graves:
Not yet.

Tabloid Reading Customer:
And I remember this one time the damn paper said...

Tabloid Reading Customer:
I'm going to break your f***ing head! You f***ing jerk-off!

Dante Hicks:
Sir! Sir, I'm sorry! He didn't mean it! He meant to hit me.

Tabloid Reading Customer:
Well, he missed!

Dante Hicks:
I know. I'm sorry. Here, let me refund your money, and we'll call it even.

Tabloid Reading Customer:
I'll never come in here again.

Tabloid Reading Customer:
And if I ever see you again, I'm gonna break your f***ing head open!

Dante Hicks:
What'd you do that for?

Randal Graves:
Two reasons: one, I hate when the people can't shut up about the stupid tabloid headlines.

Dante Hicks:
Jesus!

Randal Graves:
And two, to make a point: title does not dictate behavior. If title dictated my behavior, as a clerk serving the public, I wouldn't be allowed to spit a mouthful of water at that guy. But I did, so my point is that people dictate their own behavior. Hence, even though I'm a clerk in this video store, I choose to go rent videos at Big Choice. Agreed?

Dante Hicks:
You're a danger to both the dead and the living.

Randal Graves:
I like to think I'm a master of my own destiny.

Dante Hicks:
Please, get the hell out of here.

Randal Graves:
Oh, come on. You know I'm your hero.

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