Gilmore Girls2000

Jimmy:
I can't take you in, I can't raise you.

Jess:
Raise me? I'm 18, I'm raised! I can vote, I can be drafted, it's a little late to throw me a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles birthday party!

Jimmy:
I thought you didn't come here to bust my balls!

Jess:
I didn't.

Jimmy:
Well then put the bat down!

Jess:
I don't need a daddy, I just need a place to crash!

Jimmy:
Do you understand that it's only in the last five years I even started to put my life together? You don't want to be around me, I am a screw-up! That is my genetic code.

Jess:
Well the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.

Jimmy:
Don't say that, you're young, you can do anything you want.

Jess:
A month, just let me stay a month!

Jimmy:
Are you listening? I have nothing to offer you, nothing!

Jess:
You have nothing? I have nothing! I have no place to go! I can't stay at Luke's, I can't stay in Stars Hollow, my mother's a wack job! I mean, you're saying you're this loser and what- you don't want to take me off this terrific path I'm headed down right now? I'm not graduating high school! I don't know what I'm gonna do with the rest of my life but something's telling me I better find out soon or I'm gonna be that guy out there on the boardwalk selling the hemp hats!