House M.D.2004

Dr. Allison Cameron:
[team meeting in room to discuss patient ] Labs show valium and heroin in her urine.

Dr. Robert Chase:
A supermodel on smack. Shocker. [Gets up]

Dr. Gregory House:
[looking away] Oh, Alex. I expected so much more from you. Heroin chic is so five years ago.

Dr. Eric Foreman:
Okay. Let's start crossing out withdrawal symptoms.

Dr. Allison Cameron:
A positive test means she tried it once; doesn't mean she's an addict; she's only 15.

Dr. Eric Foreman:
There's no age limit on addiction.

Dr. Gregory House:
He's right. [dramatically swallows Vicodin]

Dr. Robert Chase:
She's never menstruated; sounds like a symptom of drug addiction to me.

Dr. Allison Cameron:
Or bulimia o-or her age. Some girls don't start 'til their mid to late teens.

Dr. Gregory House:
Evidence to the contrary: The round hips. The perfectly sculpted, bountiful breasts.

Dr. Robert Chase:
Implants. I've seen some of her photos. They've grown dramatically since last summer.

Dr. Gregory House:
Symptomatic of turning 14. Two clinic hours says that those love apples are handcrafted by God.

Dr. Eric Foreman:
[incredulous, walks over to House] Whoa! I thought that you didn't believe in God.

Dr. Gregory House:
I do now.

Dr. Robert Chase:
You're on. [comes over to House and the two men bump fists]

Dr. Allison Cameron:
[disgusted] Could we talk about her health instead of her breasts?

Dr. Gregory House:
It could be relevant. Come on, Cameron. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Many women develop breasts - [House slips due to pain and catches himself on a table, disrupting the table's contents while the team looks on. He regains his composure; looks back to team] No, I'm fine.

Dr. Allison Cameron:
Even if she is an addict, a lot of her symptoms - the cataplexy, the violence - they could be neurological. We chalk this up to drugs, we could be releasing her with Juvenile M.S. or Parkinson's or...

Dr. Gregory House:
[interrupts] So detox her.

Dr. Eric Foreman:
Fine. We'll set her up on a program that'll wean her onto the methadone.

Dr. Gregory House:
And in four weeks, we'll know that you're right. Or, we'll know that Cameron's right and the pretty girl will do Milan next fall in a wheelchair. Put her in a coma and pump her full of naltrexone. Cut the four weeks in one night. [House exits; Cameron and Chase look to Foreman]