M*A*S*H1972

Frank:
Have you ever given a lecture on temperance, Father? On the evils of drink?

Lt./Capt. Father Francis J. Mulcahy:
Well, no I haven't. But on the troop ship I was asked to give a lecture on uh, the sex thing.

Frank:
Good!

Lt./Capt. Father Francis J. Mulcahy:
Well... being celibate, I didn't feel qualified. They called in a Protestant. He had a film. About two sailors. One was from Cleveland, ostensibly, and the other from a small rural area. The city boy decided to stay on his ship and write his high school sweetheart, a lovely young girl, with a megaphone on her chest.

Frank:
Father, please. This is important.

Lt./Capt. Father Francis J. Mulcahy:
...The country boy got mixed up with a young lady who lived in a trailer with three other young ladies and... a man with a whip.

Frank:
Father...

Lt./Capt. Father Francis J. Mulcahy:
Broke his wristwatch and everything.