M*A*S*H

M*A*S*H1972

Stars: Alan Alda, Loretta Swit, Jamie Farr, William Christopher
Rating: TV-PG
Runtime: 25 minutes

Members of the 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital care for the injured during the Korean War and use humor to escape from the horror and depression of the situation. Among the 4077's people are Capts. Benjamin "Hawkeye" Pierce and "… more »



Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III:
Would you like some cognac?

Sgt. Luther Rizzo:
No thanks, I ain't hungry.

Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III:
[clears throat] Ahem, Luther, I've brought you here to discuss an offer that you would be a fool - as it were, not to accept.

Sgt. Luther Rizzo:
Oh yeah?

Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III:
I've given it alot of thought and have come to the conclusion that in exchange for cancelling my debt, I am prepared to part with this. [Unwraps a small blue vase]

Sgt. Luther Rizzo:
What do I want with a pitcher?

Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III:
This "pitcher" is an incredibly valuable and treasured vase from the Celadon Dynasty.

Sgt. Luther Rizzo:
Oh... [leans forward] I don't care if it's from the new Sears catalog, Major. Just how stupid do you think I am?

Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III:
An adjective fails me, but you see...

Sgt. Luther Rizzo:
No, all I see is, is that YOU are tryin' to get out of payin' ME the money you owe me, which is $50... [checks watch] No no, make that a hundred dollars. I don't want no hard luck stories. I don't want no dime-store spitoons. All I want is my money. I'll see YOU tomorrow. [Exits; Charles angrily throws the vase at the door, smashing it to pieces; Rizzo peers back inside] Oh gee, sir, now you ain't got a pot to spit in.

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    "M*A*S*H Quotes." Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Apr. 2024. <https://www.quotes.net/mquote/791290>.

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