Monty Python's Flying Circus

Monty Python's Flying Circus1969

Director: Ian MacNaughton
Genre: Comedy
And now for something completely different -- and how. The brainy members of the Python troupe present sketches from the absurd to the obscure, and milk humor out of anything they come across. Just mention the "Dead Parrot" sketch, the &qu… more »

Inspector Tiger:
Now, alduce me to introlow myself. I'm sorry. Alself me to myduce introlow. Introme tolose mylow alself. Alme to you introself mylowduce. Excuse me a moment. [bangs himself on the head] Allow me to introduce myself. I'm afried I must ask that no-one leave the room. Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Inspector Tiger.

All:
Tiger?

Inspector Tiger:
[jumps] Where? Where? What? Ah. Me Tiger. You Jane. [growl] Beg your pardon, allow me to introduce myself, I'm afraid I must ask that no-one leave the room.

Lady Velloper:
Why not?

Inspector Tiger:
Elementary. Since the body was found in this room, and no-one has left it. Therefore... the murderer must be somebody in this room.

Colonel Pickering:
What body?

Inspector Tiger:
Somebody. In this room. Must the murderer be. The murderer of the body is somebody in this room, which nobody must leave... leave the body in the room not to be left by anybody. Nobody leaves anybody or the body with somebody. Everybody who is anybody shall leave the body in the roombody. Take the tablets Tiger. Anybody with a body but not the body is nobody. Nobody leaves the body in the... [takes a tablet] Albody me introbody albodyduce. [a surgeon and two nurses enter with saws and lay Tiger down on the table. The same drawing room, one lobotomy later, Tiger's head is bandaged]

Surgeon:
Now for Sir Gerald. [exit]

Inspector Tiger:
That's better. Now I'm Inspector Tiger and I must ask that nobody leave the room. [gives thumbs up to the surgeon] Now someone has committed a murder here, and that murderer is someone in this room. The question is... who?

Colonel Pickering:
Look, there hasn't been a murder.

Inspector Tiger:
No murder?

All:
No.

Inspector Tiger:
Oh, I don't like it. It's too simple, too clear cut. I'd better wait. [sits] No, too simple, too clear cut. [lights out, a scream, and a shot. Tiger is dead with a poison bottle in his hand, an arrow through his neck, and a bullet in his head]

Colonel Pickering:
By jove, he was right!

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    "Monty Python's Flying Circus Quotes." Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 19 Sep. 2021. <https://www.quotes.net/mquote/802184>.

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