Monty Python's Flying Circus1969

Surgeon:
Ah come in, please take a seat. My colleague who has a similar office has explained your case to me. Mr. Notlob, as you know I am a leading Harley Street surgeon as seen on television. [Puts needle down on gramophone; "Dr. Kildare" theme begins playing] I'm afraid I'm going to have to operate. It's nothing to worry about, although it is extremely dangerous. I shall be juggling with your life, I shall be playing ducks and drakes with your very existence, I shall be running me mitts over the pith of your marrow. Yes! These hands, these fingers, these sophisticated organs of touch, these bunches of five, these maulers, these German bands that have pulled many a moribund unfortunate back from the very brink of Lazarus's box. No, it was Pandora's box wasn't it? Well anyway, these mitts have earned yours truly a lot of bread. So if you'll just step through here I'll slit you up a treat.

Man:
What?

Surgeon:
Mr. Notlob, there's nothing wrong with you that an expensive operation can't prolong.