Mystery Science Theater 30001988

Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K) is an American television comedy series created by Joel Hodgson and produced by Alternaversal Productions, LLC. The show premiered on KTMA (now WUCW) in Minneapolis, Minnesota, on November 24, 1988. It later aire… more »

Crow T. Robot:
Say Mike, give the incredibly depraved attitude regarding women in today's movie, I knew you'd want me to make a short film for boys and young men teaching them how to treat the fairer sex, with a proper and healthy respect. [Mike and Servo are both reading] Uh... Mike! Mike!

Mike Nelson:
Uh, yeah sure.

Crow T. Robot:
So, ah, good, because I went ahead and did it anyway, and hopefully it will help just a little! Let's watch...

Crow T. Robot:
["Let's talk Women" - Crow's short film about women] Aaaah, women. Women, women, women, women, women, women, women. Ha-ha-ha-ha. For you young fellows, fresh on the cusp of a blooming manhood, the questions are bound; what are women like? what do women want? how should I treat a women? Perhaps the thorniest problem facing any young man is finding a woman in the first place! It turns out to be... nealy *impossible!* This reporter spent countless hours searching for a woman, like these pictured here [shows clips of Hobgoblins, with Amy and Daphne in them] to no avail. The nearest we came during a tense stakeout was this fellow [Shows a clip of Mike Nelson biting into a sandwich,] who experts believe, is not a woman. We begin to wonder, where are all the women? The over-heated references in poetry, the images that dominate our media, is it all an elaborate fraud? This grainy photograph is the only direct evidence we have of a woman in her natural environment. [Shows a black and white, Bigfoot-like photo of a large women in a forest] The longer hair, the gentle and nurturing demeanour are typical of how witnesses describe their supposed encounters with women. This footprint [Crow stands beside a clay model of a huge Bigfoot-sized footprint] , while possibly the work of jokesters, is another piece of the puzzle! And it is hard to discount this mans terrifying story! [Crow, wearing a moustahce, and putting on a fake voice, appears on the screen] "Then... uh... this woman - I think it was a woman... she... uh... married me" [Crow ,off-screen, as an interviewer] "Did you have any children, sir?" "I don't remember!" [Back to normal Crow] Some day perhaps, an actual woman will emerge, and they will no longer exist only in the realm of myth and maybe. Thank You. [Video Ends]

Crow T. Robot:
[sighs] Oh yeah, so, anyway Mike, in conclusion, um... in the off chance that you do run into a woman, uh, you know, treat her with respect and stuff.

Mike Nelson:
[Chuckles] Okay, you do know Crow, you do know women though, what about Pearl?

Crow T. Robot:
[Thinking] Okay, so *one* woman exists, that mean *all women exist!

Mike Nelson:
We'll be right back.

Crow T. Robot:
Name me one other woman!

Mike Nelson:
Well, um... [Frowns and thinks]

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