True Blood2008

Lafayette Reynolds:
All the sh*t I done in my life - the drugs... the sex... the web site. I did it so my life wouldn't be a dead-end, and this is where I end up. Now what kind of punchline is that?

Royce:
See, that's why we gotta talk - we gotta tell each other all the sh*t she we done; that way if one of us gets out, he can tell the world about both of us. [Weeping] I just hope it's me!

Lafayette Reynolds:
Whatever, if it make you feel any better, keep talking.

Royce:
Alright, then when I was twenty, my cousin Rufus he was going out with this girl who claimed she could crush a beer can... with her tits. And, one night when we were alone, I asked he to show me. One beer can led to another, and before you knew it, she was crushing my head... with her tits. Rufus came home, and he was so mad, he threw me out the window; my hip shattered into a million pieces, and they replaced it, with... metal. [Sobs] My ass is magnetic now.