True Blood2008

Sorority Girl:
Hi! Ya'll have Tru Blood? For real?

Frat Boy:
You get vamps in here? I didn't even think we had any in Louisana.

Grabbit Quick Clerk:
[Cajun accent] You didn't know that New Orleans is a mecca for the vampire?

Frat Boy:
Seriously? I mean New Orleans? Even after Katrina? Didn't they all drown?

Grabbit Quick Clerk:
Vampires cannot drown. Because we do not breathe.

Frat Boy:
Dude, no harm intended. We're just a little drunk.

Grabbit Quick Clerk:
Nice. I could use a cocktail.

Grabbit Quick Clerk:
[he drops his accent and laughs] Score! I totally had you guys.

Sorority Girl:
That wasn't funny!

Grabbit Quick Clerk:
Yeah it was.

Frat Boy:
Nah, Kelly that *was* pretty funny.

Good Old Boy Vampire:
I didn't think it was funny.

Frat Boy:
[Faces Good Old Boy Vampire] Well, we don't care what you think.

Frat Boy:
[He turns back to the Clerk] Dude, you know where we could score any V-juice?

Sorority Girl:
Gross! Brad no!

Grabbit Quick Clerk:
How much you need?

Sorority Girl:
I knew this girl who knew this girl who did Vamp blood during Greek Week. She like clawed her own face off.

Frat Boy:
Seriously, I can pay good money.

Good Old Boy Vampire:
Okay, you two need to leave.

Frat Boy:
Alright, f*** you Billy Bob!

Good Old Boy Vampire:
F*** me? I'll f*** you boy. I'll f*** ya and then I'll eat ya!

Good Old Boy Vampire:
[He extends his fangs. Frat Boy and Sorority Girl run out. Good Old Boy Vampire walks up to the clerk and places money and a case of Tru Blood on the counter] You ever pretend to be one of us again and I'll kill you. Got it?

Grabbit Quick Clerk:
[nods, terrified] Yeah.

Good Old Boy Vampire:
[Pleasantly smiles] Have a nice day now.