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[Matt tries to distract Crick away from Patty]

Matthew:
You know something, Crick. I was wondering. Do the bad guys of the world really know they're being bad? Or do the bad guys actually just think they're being good guys, when, in fact, they're just acting like sphincters?

Crick:
I don't know. You tell me, "smart guy!"

Matthew:
So you really think you're a good guy?

Crick:
Yeah, I know I am! See, you're the one who's trying to steal my chick! I'm the cool one!

Matthew:
Cool? Oh, that's another thing that just bothers me. I was just reading that one in six people in the world think they're cool. What is that? Like, a BILLION people are cool? That just can't possibly be right! If everybody's cool, then really, nobody is cool.

Crick:
You don't know what you're talking about, guy!

Matthew:
Look at you! I mean, the modern day media, the magazines, the TV. They show us what coolness is, so that you ponytail pretenders can go out there and buy coolness, thus fooling the weak-minded and unsuspected!