A Million Ways to Die in the West2014

[first lines]

Narrator:
Some people are born into the wrong time and place. This was the American frontier in 1882, a hard land for hard folk. Food was scarce, disease was rampant, and life was a daily struggle for survival. Hell, this was Miss America in 1880 [picture of a leathery middle-aged woman] . Holy sh*t. To build a home and a life in this harsh, unforgiving country required that a man be bold, fearless, and tough as iron. The men who were courageous and resilient were the men who prospered. But some men were just big giant pussies. [Stark comes running around the corner and falls and his face]