Botched2007/I

Dmitry:
[speaking into the intercom] Can anybody hear me? Can anybody hear me?

Fake Cop on Intercom:
Greetings comrade!

Dmitry:
Oh thank God! You have to get the police, various people are trying to kill me!

Fake Cop on Intercom:
What is your handle?

Dmitry:
[confused] Huh?

Fake Cop on Intercom:
I said, what is your handle?

Dmitry:
I don't have a handle, I don't have a handle!

Fake Cop on Intercom:
Oh you've got to have handle, mine is...

Dmitry:
I don't want to know your handle! Just listen! I got on this lift, and you're thinking, 'Hmm, normal passengers, ground floor please.' No, three of them had done a robbery and the rest of us were hostages. And things have changed since then, some of the hostages have taken over! Yeah, they tried to sacrifice me! Come back robbers, all is forgiven! And before I forget, there's also this psycho definite sex-criminal nut-job running around cutting people's heads off! I haven't had a chance to talk to him yet but I'm sure I will later.

Fake Cop on Intercom:
Do you want to know what my handle is?

Dmitry:
What? Didn't you hear a word I just said?

Fake Cop on Intercom:
Oh, if you don't want to know, I'll tell you anyway. My handle is 'ferret'

Dmitry:
[sighs loudly] Listen you weirdo, just phone the police! [Silence on the intercom] Hello? Ferret?