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[Gary gets Krampus out of jail] Krampus: They said I am to be sentenced on the 17th. Gary Bunda: Yeah, you don't have to worry about that. We're not gonna be coming back for that court date. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Satan: We had a list with thousands of kids' names. Thousands of names. Are you telling me that he didn't drown one kid? Gary Bunda: In all fairness, each one of those kids got hit with a shoe. We beat each one of those kids with a full-on shoe tornado. Satan: Interesting. Was that before or after Krampus went to jail for assaulting a security guard with a giant novelty ax? Gary Bunda: [pauses] Satan: Just get him back to the castle, alright? And shut this thing down. Shut the whole thing down! This is the last time I'm taking one of your dumb ideas. Gary Bunda: Seems like it was your idea. Satan: What was that, Gar? – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Jonas: He said he was tired and he wanted to get his alcohol beer and go home. Gary Bunda: Claude, that's not his home. [Claude sees Krampus and the Security Mall Guard fighting] Claude: This is embarrassing. He used to be able to eat thousands of children in one night. Krampus: [to the Security Mall Guard] I will sue you so hard! Gary Bunda: Should we be doing something about this? Claude: I mean...let's just get out of here. Gary Bunda: Let's bail. Krampus: [to the Security Mall Guard] You're hurting me. You're hurting me! Security Mall Guard: Well, you're not doing me any good, either. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Gary Bunda: Jonas, Jonas, you okay? You got both eyes? You got your fingers? Jonas, did the hairy man bite you? Jonas: Uncle Gary? I thought you were dead. Gary Bunda: What I'm gonna need you to do is not tell your Dad a single thing about this, okay, big guy? Jonas: I want a Knights of Nebulon Pocket Marauder. Gary Bunda: Alright, let me get, like, a trash can to bash in this window. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Gary Bunda: What if he's still alive but Krampus just has eaten both of his feet? What am I gonna tell his Dad then? – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
[Gary playing with the gun] Gary Bunda: Bap! Bap! Got your ass, bitch! Bap! Bap! – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Gary Bunda: So, you want me to, like, shoot Krampus? Claude: Do you want to save your step-nephew or not? Gary Bunda: I mean, how many times a year do I really see him? Gary Bunda: Let's just see if he uses the shoe first. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Gary Bunda: What should I do? Claude: Here. I keep one of these around emergencies. [pulls out a gun] Gary Bunda: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Krampus: Young Jonas looked very plump tonight. I bet the meat is marbled. [giggles] – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Gary Bunda: How about we just swat him with the shoe this time? Just give him a couple of swippity-swaps with the shoe, and that will show him who's boss. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Claude: Can we agree that it's a coincidence that the first person we're visiting is Gary's step-nephew? Gary Bunda: Yeah, it seems weird. Krampus: We pulled names out of a hat. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Geoff's Wife: It's time to hit the sack. [shows Krampus looking Geoff's family at the window] Krampus: Oh, you'll hit the sack, alright. My burlap sack! [giggles] – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Jonas: Do you think if I leave out the entire pie, that Santa will bring me a Knights of Nebulon pocket marauder? Geoff: Oh, kiddo, listen. Hey, your Mom's not a real big fan of the Knights of Nebulon. Geoff's Wife: Or their war toys. Geoff: Maybe Santa can make an exception for... Geoff's Wife: No, Geoff. Santa reads the studies and he knows there's a direct link between fantasy violence and aggression in adults. Jonas: I promise I won't be an aggressive adult. Geoff's Wife: I wish that we're true. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Gary Bunda: You mean to tell me a kid lies one time and then he is put to death? That is not a way to teach anybody anything. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Security Mall Guard: Um, did y'all get a permit to put up this shed? Gary Bunda (as Elf Worker): I don't think we did. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
[Krampus licking Ethan's arm devilishly] Gary Bunda: Oh, no, no, no. Krampus is feeling tired. Krampus: Wait. Wait, Ethan. Take a ruten bundle to remind you that I am always there. Always watching. Gary Bunda: Okay, Ethan. We're gonna go say hi to your Mom, okay? Ethan: Mommy! Ethan's Mom: Ethan?! Come here! Come here, baby. Krampus: It's too late for Ethan. He's on the list. He's on the list! [giggles] – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Ethan's Mom: You closed the door. I can't see my son anymore. Claude (as Elf Worker): If you pay for the package, you can get a video and you'll see everything going on in there. Ethan's Mom: Why can't you just leave the door open? Claude (as Elf Worker): It's gonna freak you out. Ethan's Mom: It's gonna what? – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Krampus: Hello, Ethan Rakestraw. Ethan: How do you know my last name? Krampus: I know everything about you, young Ethan. Come here. Sit on my bony, mite-covered lap. Krampus: I know that you pee in the shower, and I know that you broke your sister's iPad, and you said it fell. Krampus: [to Gary] Close the shed! Close the shed! Ethan: Mommy! – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Claude (as Elf Worker): For $24.99, you can get a package that includes and 8x10. Ethan's Mom: We just wanted to see Santa. Right, Ethan? Okay. Go on. Go see Santa. Hey, Ethan. Smile big for mommy. Claude (as Elf Worker): You're just gonna lie to my face and stand here and take pictures with your cellphone? – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Claude: So, what do you say? Are you interested in working with us on this? Krampus: Fetch my drowning tub. Krampus is back! [does a silly dance] Gary Bunda: I don't like the dance, but I appreciate why you're doing it. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Krampus: Satan needs me to keep the children in line. The ones that are left. [Krampus rubs his stomach smoothly while giggling knowing what he did to those kids in the past times] – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Krampus: Kids today. Every time they fart, they get a trophy. Krampus: When they got rid of spanking, that's when the whole world went down the crapper. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Krampus: I tried to get Gumphanickel to follow in my footsteps. [looks at his son deadly] This one isn't interested unless it's a horn to carve. Gumphanickel: They warn the villagers of avalanches! Krampus: They cause avalanches, Gumphanickel! Krampus: Why do you think that the horn blast happens and then the snow falls?! Are you trying to warn them in the future? – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Gary Bunda: Hey, Claude, how did you beat me here? Claude: Did you teleport to the bottom of the mountain? Are you that stupid? Gary Bunda: [sarcastically] Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I teleported at the bottom of the mountain and then I climbed all the way up just to get here, and then I nearly lost my balls because I "made my harness too tight." Claude: Are you saying what you actually did, but in a sarcastic voice? Gary Bunda: Yes. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago

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