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Krampus: Kids today. Every time they fart, they get a trophy. Krampus: When they got rid of spanking, that's when the whole world went down the crapper. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Krampus: I tried to get Gumphanickel to follow in my footsteps. [looks at his son deadly] This one isn't interested unless it's a horn to carve. Gumphanickel: They warn the villagers of avalanches! Krampus: They cause avalanches, Gumphanickel! Krampus: Why do you think that the horn blast happens and then the snow falls?! Are you trying to warn them in the future? – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Gary Bunda: Hey, Claude, how did you beat me here? Claude: Did you teleport to the bottom of the mountain? Are you that stupid? Gary Bunda: [sarcastically] Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I teleported at the bottom of the mountain and then I climbed all the way up just to get here, and then I nearly lost my balls because I "made my harness too tight." Claude: Are you saying what you actually did, but in a sarcastic voice? Gary Bunda: Yes. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Krampus: Close the door. I'm not paying to heat the whole outdoors. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Krampus: When I press the TV button, it's broken 'cause the volume goes away. And then I press it again and volume comes back. Claude: Right, that's the mute button. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Gumphanickel: [blows the horn for entrance] Would you like to try to blow the horn? Gary Bunda: Your lips have been on it, so I don't... – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Gary Bunda: Are you Krampus? Gumphanickel: [German accent] No. I'm Gumphanickel. You're looking for my Dad. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Satan: Guten Krampus Nacht! Guten Krampus Nacht, VC! [plays with VC's real belly again] Guten Krampus Nacht, everyone! – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Gary Bunda: Who's Krampus? Satan: Friend of mine. We used to hang out in Eastern Europe in the 1800s. Here, I got some pictures. Take a look. Gary Bunda: Hmm. Satan: Krampus was intense. Let me tell you. That guy was insane. I'd love to see these helicopter parents today. If Krampus was to stuff their little brats into his drowning tub. Ugh! Gary Bunda: [concerned] So he drowns the children? Satan: No, not all of 'em. See, that's Krampus. You know, it's like, no, maybe he'll just hit them with a shoe or he'll put them in his gypsy cart. You never see 'em again. You don't know with this guy. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Claude: What is all this? Is that a stocking? Gary Bunda: I made it for Satan. It's out of VC's belly meat. VC, you ready? [Gary plays with VC's real belly while screaming in pain] Claude: You do realize that this holiday celebrates the birth of Satan's sworn enemy. Satan: It's alright, Claude. Christmas has become so commercialized that Jesus doesn't even get the credit anymore. Gary Bunda: Yeah, we got his ass. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Gary Bunda: Can -- Can I have some of it? Claude: [drunk] We'll share it. Gary Bunda: Okay, cool, so I...I can have my half? Claude: [drunk] There's a little bit more left of my half, I think. Gary Bunda: Cool. [Claude drinks the last Spunk bottle quickly] Claude: [drunk] I'll tell you this, you're gonna like this when it gets to you. Gary Bunda: Yeah, I bet. I'd love to have some of it. Eddie (far away in the audience): YOU SUCK! Claude: [drunk] Comrade. [gives the bottle to Gary] [When Gary drinks the last bottle of Spunk, he notices something odd] Gary Bunda: You prick! This is mostly backwash! Claude: [drink] You ain't got to riot. I'm tired. [Gary and Claude start to hallucinate each other while their heads blow up] Gary & Claude: I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fin-- [Gary and Claude's heads blows up] – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
[Gary and Claude try to fight each other while being hanged in The Bone Dome] Gary Bunda: How am I supposed to fight him? Claude: [drunk] Yeah, swing over here and say that to my face! Gary Bunda: I can't even see him! How are we supposed to fight each other, I can't even see him. Satan: Just lower them down. It's not working. Just lower them down, we'll have them... – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
[Satan & Claude came to see the incident of what happened to the spider's ejaculation] Eddie: [sobs] His dick came off in my hand! He had nothing left! He gave us all that he had! Satan: Look, we're just gonna move our delivery date back. Now, when do we ship? Claude: [drunk] There's only one bottle left. Production f*ed up. Satan: One bottle? Claude: [drunk] Mm-hmm, small batch. Artisanal. We get 'em hooked, we have 'em right where we went them. Satan: WHO ARE WE GONNA HOOK WITH ONE BOTTLE?! – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell** (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
[After seeing the "Spunk" commercial in the editing room] Mike: I -- I don't like it, either. Satan: What, I -- Mike: It needs a button. Satan: Why is VC's head in the one cut but not in the next shot? Mike: His head is gone. Satan: Yeah, that makes no sense. Why is VC's head gone? Mike: I don't know. Why would you -- Why is his head gone? Claude: [drunk] It's a creative decision that I made, and I stand by it 100% but we'll get rid of it 'cause it sucks. Mike: Yeah, I mean, there's certain things you have to do when you make a commercial. Claude: Then do them. Mike: Well, no, I need to get so I can do it. Claude: "Oh, I need to get." You know who didn't need to get? Stephen Spielberg. Satan: Can you fix this at all? Mike: It's gonna take some time. You guys might not even need to be here for it. Satan: You got time. Guess what, you got time. Software Demon Employee: You could use that yodeler as a button. I always thought that yodeler was pretty funny. Satan: I don't understand. Why would the yodeler -- What about yodeling has to do with Spunk? Software Demon Employee: It has nothing to do with it. That's what's funny about it. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
[VC's head starts to inflate] Gary Bunda: VC, uh, you doin' alright? VC: I'm fine. I'm fine, I'm fine. Gary Bunda: Okay, sure, yeah. VC: I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, [speaks intensely] I'M FINE, I'M FINE, I'M FINE, I'M FINE, I'M FINE! [VC's head explodes] Claude: [drunk] The couch is dirty. Let's 86 the couch. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
[The employees begin shooting the "Spunk" commercial] Benji: Tailgate Tony doesn't know what to bring to the Tailgate. Ted: Hey, dudes, I brought my Uncle Gunther. He likes to yodel. Uncle Gunther: [yodeling] Claude: [drunk] VC, when he yodels, your mug's gonna shatter. It's gonna be a cutaway, but -- VC: What if I say, "Why is there a yodeler at this tailgate?" Claude: [drunk] No, don't do that. Don't follow your instincts. Those are really bad instincts, alright? – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Dizzay: Hey, hey, Claude, I don't have any lines or no seat or anything, man. Wha -- What's -- What do want me to do? Claude: [drunk] Oh, Dizzay, you're just gonna be there, hanging out, appealing to the urban market, alright? Claude: [drunk] I know you wouldn't hang with these guys in real life because they're old and weird, but be dope and fresh and hang tough. Dizzay: [tired] Yeah, man. Yeah. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
[Benji shows a storyboard to Satan on how the "Spunk" commercial is played out] Benji: He's the "Spunk" spider. Out on the town, slinging webs and spinning lies. It's his web, bro, we're just cobs in it. Satan: Right, now, I thought we were gonna downplay the whole spider angle. Benji: Well, I mean, we're not showing his dick. Satan: What is that? Benji: Well, you know what? We can cut down the -- Satan: Let's just not even acknowledge that this is spider ejaculate. Benji: Claude was very insistent that it be all about the spider. Claude: [drunk] That's not what I said, Benji. You f*ed it up. And you're a child molester. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell** (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Claude: [drunk] This is a new shirt. Gary Bunda: No, it's not. It's the same shirt I've been wearing for literally thousands of years. [Claude looking at his arm to see the time but doesn't while hallucinating] Claude: [drunk] I'm three hours late for the ad shoot. Everybody, to the ad shoot! The ad shoot. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Claude: Hold on, hold on. Let me inspect this bottle. [drinks the "Spunk" bottle] Claude: [drunk] It tastes like spider jizz! And I like it. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Peachy – Mario Kart 64 (1996)	added by Dessie22 2 months ago
Eddie: So it was a Wednesday, you know, and...the spider had me pinned down and was pleasuring itself. Satan: Get to the point, Eddie. Eddie: Okay, so, anyway, some of the spider's baby gravy mixed in with the pus on my face and got into my mouth. And before I knew it, I was tripping balls. Satan: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. The -- The wine is...spider ejaculate? Eddie: No, no, I mean, I ferment it, and then to give it a nice smooth finish, I add human tears. Satan: And how exactly would you make it, Eddie, if he were dead? Eddie: I -- I don't follow you. Satan: [pulls up his demon knife] Excuse me. Just get behind you here. Eddie: What? No! Satan: Say goodbye. Dizzay: No, no, no. Gary Bunda: Just jerk it off once! Claude: Don't do it, Satan, don't do it! We need our production. It's not for us, it's for them up there. [talking about the real world] Demon: Yeah! Gary Bunda: Amen! Claude: This stuff is so great, it's like meth, but 10 times better. It just gets up inside of your body real good. [Gary touches Claude] Claude: DON'T TOUCH ME, GARY! I'M TALKING! – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
[After Satan drinking the wine drug] Satan: What was in that wine? Claude: The drink we drank? Satan: Yeah. Claude: It was made of wine that was made of the spider. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago
Claude: [drunk] It's the wine, Satan. The demons have been drinking the wine. Satan: What wine? Claude: [drunk] It's the wine! It's delicious, though I haven't tried it, so I don't know. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 2 months ago

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