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Gary Bunda: He's gonna end racism. Satan: What? Gary Bunda: He can make you any color, man. So, you don't like to be chinese anymore? Boom, boom, boom. He makes you white. Claude: That's racist. Gary Bunda: It ends racism. He makes everybody the same. Claude: No. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 3 months ago
Jett Copperhead: Now, sir, you hate black people. Is that correct? Citizen: No, no, no. No, that's not true. No, no, no. Jett Copperhead: [laughing] Oh. Come on, sir. You flying with the Jett now. Do you hate black people? Citizen: Just a little. I mean, you know, the bad ones. Jett Copperhead: Just the bad ones. Jett Copperhead: I guess you're gonna have to learn how to hate yourself. Copperhead! [Jett puts a KKK mask on the citizen's head which transforms his face into a black guy] Jett Copperhead: It looks like you just found yourself some rhythm. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 3 months ago
Satan: Uh, who's got a pen? Jett Copperhead: Anybody got a pen? Gary Bunda: I don't have a pen. Jett Copperhead: Pen? No? Oh, I think I know where one is. [Jett magically pulls the pen out of Gary's butt] Jett Copperhead: Dipstick! [laughs] Whoa. Looks like you're a quart low. [Gary sniffs the pen] – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 3 months ago
[Jett gives one of his kid's souls to sign for the devil on backstage] Jett Copperhead: Alright, sign here, Dakota. North Dakota: Right here? Jett Copperhead: Alright. I just want you to initial there. Yeah. South Dakota: I want to sign. Jett Copperhead: No. Not you, South Dakota. You're good, you understand me? You're not signing anything, baby. You're my precious, little boy. Jett Copperhead: [to North Dakota] Did you sign that? North Dakota: Yeah. Jett Copperhead: Okay. [to South Dakota] My precious, precious boy -- Jett's Wife: Honey? Why does this talk about our immortal soul? Jett Copperhead: Baby, don't read that. It's just life insurance. You know how them pinheaded lawyers are. "In the known universe," "In perpetuity," blah, blah, blah. Jett's Wife: It just says that the cleaning lady has to sign, so I just didn't -- Jett Copperhead: Hey, what can I say? She's like family to me. Jett's Wife: Right? She is. Jett Copperhead: I want to have an umbrella of safety for everyone. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 3 months ago
Jett Copperhead: I just need one more month of magic. That's it. Just one more month. I got to leave something for my kids! Satan: One more month. I want one more soul. One of your kids. Jett Copperhead: Come on! I only got the two! Claude: And your wife. Price just went up. Gary Bunda: Oh, yeah. And your cleaning woman, as well. And I'd also like some merch because I'm really starting to think that bobbleheads is a cool collection. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 3 months ago
Satan: It's time to come home, Jett. Maybe you got some sleeping pills to take with that booze. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 3 months ago
Satan: Did you put your savings in a low-cost index fund as I had suggested? Jett Copperhead: [crying] I bet it all on a basketball game! – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 3 months ago
Jett Copperhead: I made an old gal disappear, and I can't get her back. I mean, did you have to make my powers go away in the middle of a ding-dang show? Satan: Four years was the ding-dang deal, Jett. Should've kept a day planner. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 3 months ago
Satan: Jett. Wake up. Jett Copperhead: Oh, hey! [Gary kicks Jett's hand for Satan's protection] Gary Bunda: Just don't go anywhere near him! Satan: Don't touch me. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 3 months ago
Satan: I'm such an asshole. Gary Bunda: [laughs] You are a f*ing asshole. [Satan gets offended again] Gary Bunda: I respect you. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell** (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 3 months ago
Gary Bunda: I know what a computer is, Claude. Claude: Do you, Gary? Then what is it? Gary Bunda: It's a typewriter with porn in it. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 3 months ago
Jett Copperhead: For all that you have done for this country, Copperhead! [Jett puts the disarmed arms from the park woman and put the parts as legs for the retired veteran] Jett Copperhead: Now, I want you to stand up. Jimmy: I can't stand so good. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 3 months ago
Jett Copperhead: Ma'am! Ma'am! You support the troops, don't you? Park Woman: Well, yeah, but I'm just here running. Jett Copperhead: Hey. It's only gonna take a second, okay? You stand right there. And I need you to relax. Park Woman: Okay. Jett Copperhead: This is only gonna take a second. Ooh! Breathe in for me, Amy. [Jett rips both of the park woman's arms] Jett Copperhead: Kapoohame! – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 3 months ago
Jett Copperhead: What's your name, son? Jimmy: Jimmy. Jett Copperhead: Jimmy. And how'd you lose your legs, Jimmy? Gulf War? Vietnam? Jimmy: Diabetes. Jett Copperhead: Diabetes. The most american disease there is. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 3 months ago
Gary Bunda: You know how they say that all dogs go to heaven? They don't. Sometimes they go to hell. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 3 months ago
Satan: You like dogs, Gary? Gary Bunda: Puppies! [cuts to next scene where Gary has a hard time trying to communicate with a dog] Gary Bunda: Lick your balls. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if that's a problem with your moral compass. Gary Bunda: I'm still waiting on an angel. It feels like I've been here 45 minutes waiting on an angel, unless they don't waste one on stupid dogs! – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 3 months ago
Satan: You know, Gar, I don't think I can trust you on shoulders. Gary Bunda: That's cool 'cause uh, I have been meaning to say this to you for a while, but I think you're a good guy, but I don't think I've had the best management. And I don't think you're the best manager. Gary Bunda: I just felt like I needed to say that. Satan: Hmm. Gary Bunda: Give you some feedback. I'm glad this is an open work environment. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 3 months ago
Claude: My work order said that my guy had been annoyed for months. Gary Bunda: How'd you get a work order? Claude: I just asked for one. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 3 months ago
[Gary finally killed the Angel's domain and shows the Satan and employees how he does it] Gary Bunda: I guess I'll be sleeping on a goose-down pillow tonight. Hey, let's put it up on the screen. I want to see it. I want all you guys to see how I made a guy jump off a building because of what I said to him. [shows the first part of the video where Gary drops Satan's Angel slayer] Gary Bunda: Just fast-forward past this part. [shows another part of the video where there's another guy having Claude on his shoulder standing next to the man who spits on people] Claude: Come on. Push him. They'll think he slipped. [the Man pushes spitting guy off the building] Erick: Stop spitting loogies on people! – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 3 months ago
[Gary tries to kill the angel by grabbing the Angel's ring] Gary Bunda: I just wanted to say thank you so much for teaching me about the righteous path. It really worked out for me...while I was down in hell! Angel #2: Happy to help. Stay on your side, Gary. Gary Bunda: No! I want to pray together, Ollie...Tabooger. What kind of name is that? Is it Scotch Irish? Gary Bunda: You know, I was thinking maybe you could change your name to You'll-Eat-A-Damn-Booger! – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 3 months ago
Gary Bunda: Alright, jump! Don't jump. Don't jump...till I'm gone. Then you can jump. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Angel #2: He's not going to jump. He just comes up here to spit loogies on people. Don't do that by the way. It's gross. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 3 months ago
Satan: This is the Angel Slayer, Gary. Gary Bunda: Whoa. It's like anime. Satan: My own personal weapon for armageddon. You are going to take this and ram it into that feathery f*. You got me? No talk. No discussion. You just ram it into his spine! Gary Bunda: That's a really intense prank, but I can do that. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell** (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 3 months ago
Satan: You haven't got a soul to give to christ, you ham-headed f*. Gary Bunda: Yeah, well, isn't my soul in one of those big jars that you got? I think it would be super-cool if maybe -- Satan: No, no, no, no! They are laughing at us up in heaven, Gary. You got punked. Gary Bunda: Ollie says that angels never lie. Satan: What -- What was his name? Gary Bunda: Ollie. Satan: What's his last name? Gary Bunda: Tabooger. Satan: S-Say -- Say his name again. Gary Bunda: Ollie Tabooger. Satan: Again. Gary Bunda: Ollie Tabooger. Well, his name's Oliver, but he goes by Ollie...Tabooger. Claude: I'll...eat...a...booger, Gary? Gary Bunda: That's disgusting, Claude. The fact that you eat your boogers and then publicly announce that you eat your...[realizes Ollie's name was a joke] Gary Bunda: Eff this! Eff it! Eff you, Ollie, If that's even your name! – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell** (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 3 months ago
Gary Bunda: Have you heard the good news today? Jesus Christ has a plan for all of us. Dizzay: Mnh-mnh. Mnh-mnh. Mnh-mnh. Mnh-mnh. Gary Bunda: I gave my soul to Jesus Christ. I've never been happier. Dizzay: Gary, you -- You a demon, man. Gary Bunda: Come, pray with me. It's okay. It's okay. Dizzay: Gary. Gary, Gary, I don't feel comfortable. – Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell (2013)	added by timothyj.29104 3 months ago

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