Mystery Men

Ever wonder if there was a class system in the world of superheroes? After all the big names like Superman, Batman, Spider-Man, etc., who were the supporting players? The folks assigned to the less-than-stellar gigs of saving only a small part of the world? According to this intermittently successf…






[When Mr. Furious suggests they employ a publicist]

The Shoveler:
What are we gonna publicise, Roy? The fact that we get our butts kicked? A lot?

Mr. Furious:
[Annoyed] Well, maybe if you didn't smack me in the face with a shovel every time we went out, we'd have a few more victories to brag about.

Shoveler:
All right now, I'm sorry about that. I just have a tendency to lose my concentration when I've got a salad fork stuck in my rear end.

Blue Raja:
Oh, oh — I get it! So your shovel in his face is my fault?

Shoveler:
You threw a spoon at the guy, Jeff.

Mr. Furious:
Yeah, what was up with that?

Blue Raja:
I-I, I'm embarrassed about that. I thought it was a fork.

Shoveler:
You're the master of cutlery. You couldn't throw a knife sometimes when someone's trying to kill me?

Blue Raja:
No, I can't! You couldn't, ah, use a rake sometimes?

Shoveler:
No. I'm the Shoveler.

Blue Raja:
Well, I'm the Blue Raja. I'm not Stab Man, I'm not Knifey Boy — I'm the Blue Raja.

Mr. Furious:
Yeah, that's another thing.

Blue Raja:
[Defensive] What?

Mr. Furious:
Well, you could work a little blue into the uniform somewhere. I mean you've got green, you've got this little flowery thing going on, but it's like everything but blue.

Blue Raja:
Well, if we could just step out of our literal minds, just for a moment.

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