[reciting every town slogan Pawnee has ever had] "Pawnee: The Paris of America." "Pawnee: The Akron of Southwest Indiana." "Pawnee: Welcome German soldiers." After the Nazis took France, our mayor kind of panicked. "Pawnee: The Factory Fire Capital of America." "Pawnee: Welcome Vietnamese Soldiers." "Pawnee: Engage with Zorp." For a brief time in the 70's, our town was taken over by a cult. "Pawnee: Zorp is Dead. Long Live Zorp." "Pawnee: It's Safe To Be Here Now." "Pawnee: Birthplace of Julia Roberts." That was a lie, she sued, and so we had to change it. "Pawnee: Home of the World Famous Julia Roberts Lawsuit." "Pawnee: Welcome Taliban Soldiers." And finally, our current slogan, "Pawnee: First in Friendship, Fourth in Obesity."