"#1. The man in front of you today is a mortician, The patient died on the operating table. If you think the patient should have lived, ask the surgeons.
#2. I am here to jumpstart your mind from lethargy.
#3. I believe you are familiar with carnal knowledge? The concept that is, not the practical part. Someone with experience? Legal experience you dirty minded fools!
#4. The only difference between you and a cow is what I teach you.
#5. Most women would prefer the sperm of a law professor to that of a law student.
#6. We are not authorities in law. By ‘we’ I mean ‘you’. Some of you might be tempted to think that we are in the same category!
#7. You call me Sir and I call you Sir. The only difference is that YOU will mean it while I don't!
#8. Not even the devil knows what a man is thinking, leave alone a woman.
#9. I agree with the Honourable Justice Kwach, that the legal profession is in danger of being infiltrated by peasants.
#10. For the purposes of my lectures, all time will be in GMT and only my Swiss watch will apply.
#11. If your female client is going to be convicted of murder, make sure she’s pregnant. Why are you laughing? Of course, I don’t mean that you should be the one making sure!
#12. I radiate knowledge because I am in intellectual puberty and not intellectual menopause."