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Judge: [Very impatient] Well let's get a move-on. I've got a Gay Lib meeting at six o' clock. Superintendent, will you please read the charge?Superintendent: Is a charge strictly necessary, m'lud?Judge: [Heavy aside] The press is here...Superintendent: Oh! Sorry... Right, you are hereby charged: One, that you did conspire to publicize a North London borough in the course of a BBC saga; two, that you were willfully and persistently a foreigner; three, that you conspired to do things not normally considered illegal; four, that you were caught in possession of an offensive weapon, viz. the big brown table down at the police station.Judge: The big brown table down at the police station?Superintendent: It was the best we could find, m'lud. And five, all together now...All: Assaulting a police officer!

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