Search results for 'twin bed'
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– Musin Almat ZhumabekovichRate it:
– Musin Almat ZhumabekovichRate it:
– Mitch HedbergRate it:
Aphorisms Within the boundaries of the digital cell of consciousness, within the boundaries of vicious infantilism, autism of indifference, as if the suffocating silence of cowardice, to drown in sins and with a contented face to go into inferno, biological keys, conceal the laws of life, mental kinship with the lower consciousness of unconscious stupidity, or sincerity goodness and light in the depths of the subconscious, in the secrets of the soul, forgotten truths are hidden, the flowering of the soul in the serenity of eternity, out of time consciousness, particles in infinity, sincerity passing through us leads to evolution, others to the blindness of selfishness, and the cold of shamelessness, in the subconscious animatronics platitudes of cowardly instincts, The comet drops a stellar wind of memories, into the emptiness of the past, a taste of emptiness, a taste of serenity, freedom without borders, a lonely spirit leaving at dawn, a wanderer in a romantic void, through the shadows of deceit, we are moving towards the truth, a dramatic dawn illuminates the night of dreams and fears, its secrets hidden in tears, they contain forgotten dreams and lost values, the skin becomes dry because there are no tears in it, old age comes, the dawn of awareness as a consolation, and hope as an attraction, everything becomes quiet when wisdom comes, the cold fog of humility, causes peace, the flowering of the soul in holiness, consciousness is disconnected from the measurement of show-offs of despair and evolving lies, Poetry You are my hot fetish, When I see you it's a thermonuclear explosion, sperm bombs, circulation of love, in the circulatory system, rivers of passion overwhelm me, tenderness dissolves me in the pleasure of endless bliss, you are so sweet I have a sugar shock and lustful fever, from your sweet body diabetes, masturbating seductive beauty, symphony of orgasms magical, fabulous, dream erotica, euphoric romance about your priceless beauty, the beauty of your eyes is the best medicine in the world, there is my paradise, your beauty is like a gas burner on a slow fire, you seduce me in a saucepan , boiling water of my sperm, it turns into a vapor of spiritual passion, looking at you is a narcotic pleasure, a sexy hobby, I have an innate instinct to love someone like you, you are my sexy sin, vulgar temptation, hot poetry of passion, you are my hot orgasm, shines and levitates from the euphoria of endless love, the ideal of the subconscious in which I will look for you in all lives, you are the growing pricelessness of eternity , one second after another takes me into the world in endless love, you are sweeter in my thoughts with every second, it's like you take a glass of alcohol that is, there is sperm and set fire to your beauty like alcohol, drink to the bottom, my bar is open for you all night , you just pull the handle for pouring beer (by the penis), and pour yourself semen, alcoholism of passion, thrombosis of the veins of the penis from an excess of passion, you are dangerously hyper sexy, I stuck to your lips like something sweet, Drug sex addiction, psychological passion, in the dizzying love of a kaleidoscope, I lose consciousness from passion, one second is harder than another without you, love passion is getting stronger and stronger, the penis gnaws a hole in my underpants, in thoughts and dreams I levitate from love for you, a hot poem passion, the honey taste of your lips, conquers my heart, you strum the strings of my heart's feelings and the string between my legs (penis), your kiss takes you to the dimension of endless love, lovingly erotic romance, hot safari tropics, in the savannah of erotic passion fever (about hair on pubis), like a digger, I plunge into the depths of passion (about the vagina), in the depths you can hear the growl of a lioness, when you walk down the street your buns give a sexy rhythm, boom, boom, no condom can withstand such beauty, spermatozoa will fight to rent your villa ovum, Sensual, aesthetic temptation, gently conquering, shiveringly blissful, leading into the depths of infinity of passion, pleasure takes you into a deep state of erotic pleasure from your beauty, complete sex control over consciousness, alluring erotic instinct of archaic passion, dominant love power, sweet happiness, sensual poetry romance in the soul, blurs in incredible bliss, epic state of euphoric romance, fire through the nerves when your skin touches me, like lava through the cracks of the earth, it forms fertile soil of love, erotic garden of love, uncontrollable love intensifies when I see you, you are the most beautiful thought in all eternity, jokes Love is like food in the microwave, you have to reheat all the time, well, it's cold again, hot sex inside Yes, your fat wife has a lot of stomachs, like a jacket with a lot of pockets in a too prudent man For a woman, crying is like peeing, let's pee baby, you will feel better Yes, and your hair looks like a monkey's crotch It was the first time you got so angry, you screamed so hard, like a girl's first orgasm, what did you feel? ticklish Watching this is like watching a striptease of oriental women, first she lifts her skirt for a long time to show what is between her legs, then she lifts all the folds of fat like a skirt for a long time, and it’s hard for her to hold the skirt and all the fat of her stomach, and then she breathing heavily He is a businessman, seriously, and what kind of business do you have, a fart booth, there are booths for smokers, he has fart booths, money is taken from the card automatically, people don’t even notice, sometimes they confuse and smokers run into fart booths Yeah, and your boyfriend is so tall that when he puts you on your neck, your nose bleeds from the thin air, you're like an antenna on which lightning strikes, an umbrella for his fleas, because they told me that it's bad in bed with you, here they drink blood and there is not enough blood for another place, you wear a bell so that it does not crush you Marriage is like a sociology chart pie, where your fat wife takes up more of the bed, you sleep on the sweaty side, that's why you have a happy marriage He makes poop statues of famous people and fictional characters, hero figurines, he's a nihilist Alphonse is like a goat on your finger, does not immediately come off, like a poop that is difficult to wash off, you take the handle from the shower and wash it off, we understand Yes, and your fat wife looks like a cauldron (Kazakh national dishes), when she lies on her back, you twisted her counterclockwise to turn time back to marriage A teenager asked me how to grow up fast to have sex and smoke cigarettes and alcohol, I answer just lie on the floor in a fetal position, and spin clockwise to grow old I felt that someone was standing behind, the guy behind sniffed his armpits If you want to vomit, breathe into your mouth, thanks your diet helps The girl talks about her boyfriend, over his penis, the penis of his rudimentary twin, sometimes they fight for me, how they can fight, don’t ask, I don’t know myself, there were days when both penises agreed among themselves and took possession of his brain, he disappeared somewhere then he returned all covered in blood, it turned out that these were ordinary periods, he could not even change This prostitute has an airport of venereal diseases, various viruses You left the table to fart, how gallant, you are a real gentleman, but sometimes I don’t go out and fart at the table so that I get all the food, but sometimes people stubbornly sit and eat, puke and eat, this is my fan for farting The first date of the guy, hello, don’t be afraid of sex, we won’t have sex, he puts his penis on the table in a jar of formaldehyde, this is my penis, I don’t know why I carry this jar with me, I don’t know how to communicate with girls, I bet my best friends and they put crackers in me in my pockets, but then my anus was also torn off, now I have a vagina there From a machine gun of likes, they shoot at a person whom they love, but he sees dislikes as a symbol of shame for his behavior, I still love you and you won’t stop me When people are ashamed of you, and you pretend to be a brother to your girlfriend, or a gay girlfriend, or a spiritual friend, and pretend to be an uncle to your son, no, not incest, but he looks like, and I say not incest Got into the future, but there are naturals here? Fu human, pervert, I don’t know what it is, but I want children from her From parkour, he turned into a vegetable, fell badly, he is trying to say something, get this vegetarian away from me Two country houses have been fighting among themselves for many years, as pirates always want to board You need to get back your masculinity, male fluid, he's talking about sperm Someone said to your crooked teeth soldierly at ease The killer is under police interrogation, the policeman: tell me where the killer's accomplices are, hits him in the face, the killer: wait, I remember something, the policeman hit again, the killer: well, I forgot why you hit again, the policeman hit again, the killer began to forget letters and where is the right and where is the left, does not remember his name, the policeman got angry and hit him in the face, the killer left the police station a new man, with empty brains, he began a new life They say when you were conceived, you were like a sperm bullet, bounced off from everywhere, couldn’t find it for a long time, and to understand that the GPS map didn’t help, the tour was all over the body A fat bachelor, pissing with fat, a feast of cholesterol, and selling food courts that help their abortions harm, care for bad mothers, use the urine of trouble, they are not afraid of their vice, working in a fat bar, they work in financial anal, they will not show on a corrupt channel, the salary trolls, and the boss prays to stay for the sake of laughter, the heart colitises about the future, it will kill you with tenderness in inflation, to stay here will disgrace you, it’s all your wife’s eyes are callused So, you have a problem with us today, I put you on the hemorrhoids board of the day, put away this hemorrhoids calendar, I'm doing statistics Why did you come to the bachelor party in a pimp costume, I thought everyone would dress like that How to meet a girl is to insert the key into the keyhole (about sex), vroom, vroom, start the engine, her gasoline squirts, she is forty, there is almost no chance of getting a guy, it is written above the vagina to take a bean, a sex plumber who can fix a leak, a courier delivering an orgasm, a policeman who arrests frigidity, a night in a love chamber, out of turn to a sex doctor, just ask, an electrician who will ignite sparks of passion to the fullest with lightning, like a rock guitar from lightning, a fireman who will arrange a foam party in the vagina, a sex tutor, stay for extra classes, go to her candy store, like an airplane pilot fly to space, fuck until memory loss, like a beer festival, after a night of sex, a terrible hangover from passion, pickup secret agent zero, zero, penis, in military uniform, shoot with your sperm , listen to all her erotic fantasies in the sex library, like a maid, she will vacuum your penis (blowjob) Author: Musin Almat Zhumabekovich
– Musin Almat ZhumabekovichRate it:
Aphorisms Your values are your rudimentary twin, cynicism leads to endless plagiarism of franchises, degradation is subconscious self-hatred, so guilt accumulates in the soul, subconsciously a person is pulled to hell because of a thirst for punishment over himself, a tsunami like a cobra rises above the world to wash away the rest the meaning of life in the world, the highest values are the highest knowledge of the library of intuitive awareness of conscience, to the highest levels of worldview, blooming gardens of harmony in the soul, give the highest peace of understanding, crushed by emptiness, to see the deepest meanings of life, shock energies reveal the deepest knowledge of the soul, egoism plunges into oblivion and denial, the skeptic's ladder of understanding is very small, the anatomy of philosophy, its biological development at the genetic level, like in a museum with formaldehyde jars, in which unique forms of the philosophical evolution of life experience, Sleep in illusions, in the valley of false pleasures, in memoirs of self-deception, a post-mortem with oneself, the program of the subconscious is embedded in the genes, new forms of lust, they look at the body like plasticine, plastic surgery, people strive for bio-incompatibility with the truth, the ego is filled with helium, self-confidence has a funny voice of notorious vanity Those anti-stress toys that you send him, he does various manic things with them, it calms him, could you send more, we are not visible in the void of nonsense, materialistic pleasures, like a fair of childhood traumas, and illusions are their values, faith in the illusion of hedonism for them become more and more falsely detailed, all their whims of perfectionism are taken into account, life goes out in the dead spirit of a shopaholic, he feels only matter, Growing walls of selfishness between people, happy only those people in whom only evil grows, business theft of selfishness, growing loneliness of demography, detachment grows the abyss of emptiness of nonsense, complex technocracy of the universe, constantly transforming architecture of paradoxes, creating amnesia in which nothing is valued for a long time in the utopia of selfishness , Poetry You are a hot night of love, a beast of endless dreams of a passionate fantasy, you develop my erotic imagination to the limit, the hot sweetness of the abyss of love, you form this poetry of lust, in the refined details of idealism, uncontrollably in love obsession, your beauty reveals the most secret innermost feelings of sincere passion, violent lust love, primal passion creating a rush and pouring hot poetry of orgasms, hot sweetness of incredible love, juicy sweet and exciting, the juices of passion in your body forms, infinitely attractive, to know the depths of your passion, I thirst forever, I want to burn your lust greedily, High sex tension, obsession in love, such beauty never gets tired, internal erection of falling in love, like a hangover, lasting a lifetime, all dreams sing of your endless beauty, I dream of you all day and night, I dream about you, that's how much you are beautiful, my love for you makes you more and more beautiful because you are more valuable with every second, I caress your beauty with words and do it with love, endlessly hot goddess, so beautiful that I need a break to catch my breath, otherwise I will suffocate from falling in love and passion, the whole body in burns from lust, cremation of passion, I can’t digest, too many emotions of love, hypnotic charm erotica, like sexy cha cha, fall in love with yourself, sexy thighs rumba rumba rum boom boom boom boom, magic magic kiss via graphic (via gra) gracefulness of sexy dance of buns when you walk down the street, buns say cha cha cha, Roast Buenos at night, you are a sexy gifka of memories, hormones dance tango, dance of your buns, sexy the rhythm of an erection is like the beating of my heart, your beauty falls in love flawlessly, mechanically like a perpetual motion machine, in a bank of memories, like my poems sent in a bottle, you will find in a new life in reincarnation, my love for you, and you will feel my sincerity for you, from the past life, my penis is like a poet's pen, writes love poems to you with sperm, serenades, like a mariachi trio penis and its amigos male balls that are my white ink, jokes What a narrow apartment, I look like paper, do you think I can fit anywhere She fucks everyone's brain, look no one listens to her, she pleases herself, she takes out her brain You use the hula hoop as a bandage Yeah dreaming put on a corset for the waist on your brain, your thoughts will become more elegant Both twin brothers crawled out of their mother as if they were fighting and cursing all their lives No, I won’t get to know you, your eyes are like those of a maniac, and yours are like those of a stoned yak There are no negotiating diplomats in our country, there are only excuses who speak excuses and made-up sayings She sleeps with this rich old man he has ulcers and amnesia, he looks like a shabby rag with holes I'm in a sweepstakes of bellybutting drunken fat men, everyone is betting on who will have a heart attack first, they want to make an Olympic sport Fictitious financial crisis is synonymous with laziness Generosity is a very strange and positive way to commit suicide, and you're talking about persecution. I don’t know what to get my husband for his birthday, looks at the console, computers, soccer balls, cell phones, free coupon brochure with five busty models of prostitutes, an annual coupon for a strip club, fu I’m better than them than men are into, asks the seller what give my husband a birthday present, the seller says a mega aggressive blowjob, so passionate that it scares, oh what a handbag, I bought gifts for myself, what to give him Suicidal laziness is killing the country, no we must come up with something that can flatter the people, flattery is insidious, sarcastic revenge when you tell a girl that she lost weight, when she gained weight on the contrary, you are fired said the politician I'm unlucky in love, even scary crazy people don't want you She often gives birth to children, children come out like children from a water park pipe, an eternal waterfall of lust squirting Send ten cakes, ten mega sets of fast food meals, twenty kilograms of delicious and high-calorie food to a sexual competitor, and he will definitely choose you, this is the sweet revenge of the best friend A guy goes on a date with a girl with flowers, acid rain is great, goodbye hairdresser and waxing salon, goodbye expensive flowers, goodbye perfect skin, goodbye darling because you don't want to meet a guy who is disfigured by acid, passed a whole year later, and I have acid the rain is still erect, and everyone gets scared at the sight of me Censored porn, pixelated penises and vaginas like an 8-bit console game, ok two-bit in Asian porn The girl kissed the guy, and his penis wrapped around his legs and he crawled home like a snake His middle fingers shoot lasers he aims and insults How did you manage to get irradiated in a laser tag That car engines have a volume control, and bass, with the sound of a man peeing in continuous panos He can't poop without the composition of a Valkyrie flight, a scarf and pilot glasses from the early twentieth century, a cap (a woman flying an airplane), this song is needed to drown out his cries, he has a lot of toilet rituals and superstitions, especially after oriental cuisine New fashion boutique. Star thongs, star venereal diseases, hello I want germs and venereal diseases, names famous girls and women, the store is called celebrity microbes, very important and pretentious microbes and viruses coming out of the limousine, this limousine is very strange, as if the tunnel is a penis, I hope there is wi-fi there, I heard that only in the anus area, but there is a dangerous ghetto Oh don't invite your friend, why, he's a silent killer of a great mood She is our super-secret weapon, dubious super beauty model spy, her penis shoots with a laser, and farts with poisonous gas within a radius of five hundred meters, well, you gave everything away Have you taken these pills? From this, a large, thick clitoris grows, now you understand women much better, I noticed that you now have two tubercles In the production room, and I'm not at all interested in your drug den, you musicians can only count up to three, so you are far from Mozart When you say important, cool speeches, always insert an unexpected word: olle Your wallet is like a used condom, after a beach holiday with your wife, she shredded your budget Your wife fucks your brain without lube and with a vibrator, all you hear when she screams is a buzz And at the end of the book, he hit the girl he loves in the nose and passionately kissed an unfamiliar, busty blonde, and they got many, many busty sons A woman goes on maternity leave, vacated her workplace, turned on the peg peg alarm, ten years have passed, and they are still waiting for her Mutual support in Kazakhstan. Not bad, not bad, of course it sucks compared to me, but it's not bad that, you yourself are not developed in this field of activity, oh sorry, I hurt your feelings You are moderately scandalous today, I'm just not in the voice, mi mi mi, so listen here Gray hair, hair styling gel, chrome steel Egoists think about their ego: uh, ho? What should I do to make her shut up, call a welder? It is unlikely that he will succeed, you saw her mouth, the whole airfield will fit, I'm scared when she speaks next to me He rarely blinks, it's scary, he's just a dream of any photographer Why do many girls have their mouths open, but like sex dolls The employee tells the head of the department what you have under your shirt, is it a bulletproof vest? No, it’s just that the previous employee had a knife, yes, you have a gunshot wound, these are previous employees whom I unfairly fired and stole their bonus and salary, you know how difficult it is to find a good employee, this is a wound, I trained on myself, checked my body armor How does the mafia have fun, what happened to you you kick the burning ball of the severed head of the snitch somehow sad, we will go to hell right? Let's hit, but for now we'll keep kicking the ball while we can Her fat folds are like a crumpled bed and her old skin is like old crumpled paper. So the crunch in the chips ad is the crunch of salted bones, people who like chips, crunchy bones like crispy chips Look at that guy having an affair with that tree, the tree cums from his hole in his mouth with maple syrup, holding his hair, cool if the girls could come with something sweet, similarly for girls, if the guy could come with something sweet in his mouth girls, then people's lives would change for the better, don't forget about the anus, own confectionery Her grumbling is like a vibrator in your head, text messages of insight have not come to your head for a long time Like you said, this fat man on meat? On the mass. It doesn't matter, but they still consider themselves jocks, for tigers they are like a meat pie with a fatty layer She watches shorts all day, these are short videos, no I don't like shorts, this is a video, not a piece of clothing, I don't know what you mean Have you ever had sex with someone, with a balloon is considered, inflatable sex dolls do not count, then no Would you like to fly without wings, yes I would like to be a balloon You also use the shower handle to flush the rest of the poop in the toilet, no, uh, well, let's go Traitors are like baseball players, throw you like a ball into the crowd Why do straight people send photos of penises in festive New Year's hats, but this one has sequins and garlands, just a holiday card, a love poem, these are those who call themselves straight, but in fact admit that they want sex with men, often spend time with men, but keep calling themselves straight, being rude and swearing with strangers, they are super brave, under hidden avatars, or from another country, they say they want to fight with you, hate strangers for no reason and send photos of their penises, and continue to lie to themselves that they are straight, I passed these to the cops through the ID, the prison is heaven for them, there are a lot of men He can’t even meet girls, they all answer him: uh, brother distance Author: Musin Almat Zhumabekovich
– Musin Almat ZhumabekovichRate it:
I have a king sized bed, I don't know any kings, but if I ever meet one I can tell him "You will not believe what I have in store for you!" "This is made to your exact specifications!" When I was little I used to lay in my twin sized bed at night wondering where my brother was.
– Mitch HedbergRate it:
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