Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 4

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997-2003), created by Joss Whedon, is a television series about Buffy Summers, a teenage girl chosen by fate to battle against vampires, demons, and other supernatural foes. She is often aided by her Watcher and her loyal … more »

[During Xander's dream, he and Principal Snyder parody "Apocalypse Now."]

Principal Snyder as Colonel Kurtz:
Where are you from, Harris?

Xander as Captain Willard:
Well, the basement, mostly.

Principal Snyder as Colonel Kurtz:
Were you born there?

Xander as Captain Willard:
Possibly.

...

Principal Snyder as Colonel Kurtz:
I walked by your guidance counselor's office one time. A bunch of you were sitting there ... waiting to be shepherded. I remember it smelled like dead flowers. Like decay. Then it hit me. The hope of our nation's future is a bunch of mulch.

Xander as Captain Willard:
You know, I never got the chance to tell you how glad I was you were eaten by a snake.

...

Principal Snyder as Colonel Kurtz:
Where are you heading?

Xander as Captain Willard:
Well, I'm supposed to meet Tara and Willow. [beat] And possibly Buffy's mom.

...

Principal Snyder as Colonel Kurtz:
Are you a soldier?

Xander as Captain Willard:
[shakes head] I'm a comfortador.

Principal Snyder as Colonel Kurtz:
[contemptuous] You're neither. You're a whipping boy. Raised by mongrels and set on a sacrificial stone.

Xander as Captain Willard:
[nods] I'm getting a cramp.

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