ALF, Season 1

ALF is sitting on Willie's bed, and a burglar comes through the window

ALF{as narrator}:
Then it happened. He came into my life. At first, I thought it was Santa Claus. Then it hit me: Santa probably wouldn't smell of cheap wine. Besides, he was beginning to fill his bag with things that didn't belong to him. I was scared stiff, but I realized I had to do something; I realized I was the man of the house.

ALF:
Excuse me? Can you take a little constructive criticism? What you're doing here is wrong.

Burglar:
[examines ALF] Must be one of those talking dolls.

ALF:
Oh, yeah!? Ever had a talking doll rip out your voice box!?

[Burglar screams in shock and jumps out the window]