American Dad!, Season 5

Roger:
You're gonna to roast each other. And your zingers better be mean. If you try any weak sauce, I'm gonna give you such a zots. [With a remote, he buzzes Stan] Now, Stan, roast Hayley. [Zots!] You feel that zots?!

Stan:
Uh, Hayley, you're not very smart and you smoke a lot of pot.

Roger:
[another buzz] Zots!

Stan:
Uh, okay. Hayley, I secretly wish you were Benjamin Button, and you were aging backwards, and your life was almost over.

Roger:
[laughing with Klaus] Oh, yeah! Insults in the form of jokes. So how's it feel, Hayley? Not too bueno, I bet. Now you do Steve.

Hayley:
Steve, you will never get laid. There is nothing attractive about you. You have the sex appeal of the cancer ward in a pediatric hospital.

Klaus:
[laughing] Oh!

Roger:
Hayley coming in with a groaner. Nice. Okay, Steve, let's see you give it to your mama.

Steve:
Mom, you are not smart. I don't tell "yo mama's so dumb" jokes. I tell "my mama's so dumb" jokes. Example: my mama's so dumb, I don't tell "yo mama's so dumb" jokes. I tell "my mama's so dumb" jokes.

Roger:
I love it. Francine, take the pain and throw it right at Stan. Do it!

Francine:
Stan, you have the undeserved ego of Jeremy Piven, the annoying self-righteousness of Sean Penn, and the unbearable hypocrisy of Rush Limbaugh. What I'm trying to say is, you're almost as bad a person as Rachael Ray.