How I Met Your Mother, Season 1

How I Met Your Mother (2005-2014) is an American sitcom, which aired Mondays at 8:00 pm on CBS. The series is narrated through flashbacks from the future, in which an older version of the main character, Ted Mosby, tells his two children the story o… more »

Marshall:
You okay?

Ted:
Sure. Why?

Marshall:
Ah... I don't know. Girl of your dreams... dating a billionaire.

Ted:
Okay, first of all, hundred-millionaire. And second, she's not the girl of my dreams, we're just friends. Look, it would not be smart if we got together. I..I mean, I'm looking to settle down, she's looking for a.... [Barney starts snoring]

Barney:
Wha...? You done? Great. Check out table number four. See that little hottie on the end? She's short, but has an ample bosom. I love it! She's like half boob. [whispers to Ted] Let's go.

Ted:
Yeah, and say what? What's our big opening line?

Barney:
It was, uh... 'Daddy's home.'

Ted:
Daddy's home?

Barney:
Yeah!

Ted:
Okay, you... you want us to go over there, right now, and say to those girls, 'Daddy's home.' Really think about that, Barney.

Barney:
Hmm... yeah, I think it's pretty solid.

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