The Big Bang Theory, Season 3

Sheldon:
Thanks for seeing me on such short notice.

Leonard:
What do you want?

Sheldon:
Maybe this isn't a good time.

Leonard:
Tell me what you want or I swear to God I will kill you.

Sheldon:
Do you really think death threats are a good way to start this conversation?

Leonard:
Alright, I'm sorry.

Sheldon:
Sometimes your lack of social skills astonishes me.

Leonard:
What do you want?

Sheldon:
You may wanna sit down.

Leonard:
I'm in bed!

Sheldon:
Point taken. You may wanna sit up.

Leonard:
Just tell me what you want!

Sheldon:
I've been seeing Penny behind your back.

Leonard:
When you saying seeing Penny, what do you mean?

Sheldon:
We had dinner last night. She made me spaghetti with little hot dogs. I like spaghetti with little hot dogs. Well, a hot dog. I gave up the other 5 hot dogs to a real dog. A real big dog. A hell hound. There'll be a tangent line at the end, it's not important.

Leonard:
Then why did you have Chinese food with us?

Sheldon:
Wolowitz made it very clear my loyalty should be to male comrades before women who sell their bodies for money.

Leonard:
Is it possible that he said bros before hoes?

Sheldon:
Yes, but I rephrased to avoid offending the hoes.

Leonard:
Sheldon, I don't care if you wanna be friends with Penny.

Sheldon:
Really?

Leonard:
Yeah.

Sheldon:
You mean all the emotional distress I've been feeling is essentially useless and in vain.

Leonard:
I guess so.

Sheldon:
Well, as my Meemaw would say, "Looks like we butchered a pig but nobody wanted bacon." Oh, and as for the tangent line. Sheldon and the hell hound. OR How I lost my hot dogs.