I think I wrote a poem once... [flashback to a younger Patrick, whose voice is higher-pitched]
[reading from a sheet of paper] A Poem, by Patrick Star. Roses are blue, violets are red. I have to go to the bathroom. [eats the paper and burps]
How many times I gotta tell ya, this...is...gym class! [blows a whistle, and several dodgeballs are thrown at Patrick]
A band member:
This one's really bad! It made my eyeballs throw up!
Another band member:
Oh yeah? [he takes the script and, upon reading it, his eyeballs shrivel up and turn to dust]
I don't care how awful his poem is, he spent his hundred bucks already!
C'mon guys, we're gonna do this if it kills us. A-one, and a-two, and a--
[Cuts to a graveyard:
the band members apparently died after recording the song]
[to Patrick] They wanted you to have this. [hands a record to Patrick]
I Wrote This" Lyrics:
Twinkle Twinkle Patrick Star
I made myself a sandwich
My mommy named it Fred
It tastes like beans and bacon
And smells like it's been dead
Writing stuff is hard
So I used a pointy pencil
Pointy, pointy, pointy
Pointy, pointy, point
P.U., what's that horrible smell?
Drum solo! [drum solo]
I have a head
It ends in a point
Pointy, pointy, pointy
Pointy, pointy, point
This song is over
Except for this line
You win this round
[SpongeBob and Patrick are crying because they miss Sandy]
Why did she have to go to the science convention and TAY-HAUS [Spanish pronounciation of "Texas"]?
She won't be back for one more hour, 26 minutes, and 47 seconds! [they start squirting tears at each other]
I miss Sandy so much! Her tentacles, the way she plays clarinet, her massive nose...
Uh, Patrick, that's Squidward. He's not gone; he's right here! [camera pans to Squidward planting a flower in the ground]
No I'm not. [walks away]
I sure do miss that squirrel! Her karate chopping, that 10-gallon glass dome over her dome, and who can forget those buck teeth? After Sandy gets back, we're gonna let her know how much we miss her!
Is Sandy the one I call "mom"?
No, Patrick, that's your mother. But that does give me an idea! We'll throw Sandy the mother of all welcome-home parties! Patrick, to the tree dome!
[the flea bites him and makes marks on his stomach] Ahahahaha! Connect the Dots. [draws lines connecting the bite marks on his stomach] I drawed a horsey! OUCH!! Why does this flea keep biting me?
When a flea bites you, it's because he's sucking up your blood for nutrition.
I have been bitten by a vampire flea! NO!! I'm gonna turn into a vampire now! It's already happening! [starts going berserk]
It's freezing in here! How cold does Krabs keep this place anyway? [looks at the thermostat which reads 62 degrees, much to his disgust] 62 DEGREES!? [with confidence] I'm gonna set to a toasty 63. [turns the thermostat dial slightly clockwise; an siren goes off and a red light flashes]
[bursts through the door to his office] WHOOOOO TOUCHED ME THERMOSTAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!? [everyone points to Squidward]
[to Spongebob] Oh, thanks a-- [Mr. Krabs grabs him in the jugular]
You're welcome, Squidward.
Squidward, you're always going on about your book club. READ THIS!! [points to a poster above the thermostat that reads "DO NOT TOUCH THERMOSTAT EVER!]
Do not touch thermostat ever. [Mr. Krabs sets it back]
HEAT COSTS MONEY!! There's two ways to get on me bad side, boys. I don't like kids playing in me yard, and nobody but me, touches me thermostat!
That's totally selfish!
Yeah! Your yard is really fun! There are kids playing in it right now.
Where am I? What happened? Oh yeah, the party. I must have passed out in SpongeBob's kitchen, on the ceiling. See, SpongeBob? I told you we shouldn't stay up past 8:30, things get real crazy after 8:30. [has a flashback of last night's tea party] She really knows how to pound 'em down huh, SpongeBob... SpongeBob? [notices SpongeBob snoring with a donut in his hand] That's a good lookin' donut.
Hello, little one! Would you like a Chum Burger?
Uh...does it come in raspberry?
Aw, c'mon kid! You already said that! Quit wasting my time!
Little Kid's Mother:
Hey, you can't talk to my son that way! Who do you think you are?!
I'm Plankton, ya old hag, and your son smells like boogers!
Hey, don't talk to my wife like that! What do you think this is?!
Looks like it's time for you to lose some weight, fatty! That's what it is!
You can't talk to my grandson like that! Someone ought to put you in a mental institution!
Someone should put you in a box floating down the river, grandma!
You're probably right...
You people are crazy! I'm gettin' outta here! [people begin throwing rocks at him] Hey!
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