Siege [1998]

Steven Seagal can consider himself lucky if he ever makes a better movie than this one, which was appropriately dubbed "Die Hard on a battleship" when released in 1992. Seagal handles the heroic duties with his usual wooden efficiency, but the movie's greatest assets are a punchy script and the scene-stealing performances of Tommy Lee Jones and Gary Busey. The two play leaders of a terrorist group who take over the venerable battleship USS Missouri during its final commissioned voyage. They're crazed psychotics who seize control of the ship's nuclear arsenal, but they don't know that Seagal--as the ship's cook, no less--is a former Navy hero, lurking in the shadows and waiting to spoil their nefarious scheme. Director Andrew Davis (The Fugitive) helms the action with skillful style, and as the cheesecake stripper who proves handy with a hand grenade, Playboy Playmate-turned-actress Erika Eleniak gives Seagal another reason to strut his macho stuff. Under Siege is hormonal hokum for gun-happy viewers, but as action movies go, this one's a definite guilty pleasure. --Jeff Shannon

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