Matlock

[repeated line]

Ben Matlock:
Jackass!

Judge Raymond Price:
Are you looking for trouble?

Ben Matlock:
Trouble is a two-way street.

Judge Raymond Price:
Are you threatening me?

Ben Matlock:
I'm trying to do my job!

Daryl Wilson:
You know, Art seems to think you're hot stuff... but me, I think you're a pain in the ass.

Andrew Sloan:
Wearing suits is one thing, but shaving, I don't know.

Ben Matlock:
Well... there goes the killer.

Carlos Berman:
The problem is, my friend, that my customers order drinks you've probably never heard of.

Conrad McMasters:
Try me.

Carlos Berman:
A Zombie, a perfect Rob Roy, and a Suffering Bastard.

Conrad McMasters:
Coming up.

Ben Matlock:
I always make sense. I'm a rational, reasonable man.

Ben Matlock:
Hope it's a good day for Geminis.

Benjamin Matlock:
I know the prosecutor in this case, and she is a very tough cookie. [takes a bite of his hot dog]

Benjamin Matlock:
I'd sooner eat a live chicken than be your lawyer!

Donald March:
Julie, I love you. I told you that last night, I've always loved you.

A.D.A. Julie March:
I know you love me, Donald. And you also loved Sheila, your law clerk, and my best friend, Marjorie, and her friend, Dorie, and the soprano in the church choir... I never knew her name.

Billy Lewis:
Lucy's dead.

Ben Matlock:
Lucy's dead?

Billy Lewis:
She died in her sleep sometime last night, in that beach house of hers in North Carolina. This kid was renting a room there, found her and called me about an hour ago.

Ben Matlock:
Lucy's dead.

Billy Lewis:
Lucy's dead, my own beloved sister. Why don't you ever appreciate people when they're alive? It hit me on the drive over, I don't even remember what color her eyes were!

Ben Matlock:
They were brown.

Billy Lewis:
Funeral's day after tomorrow.

Ben Matlock:
You've got a long drive ahead of you.

Billy Lewis:
Long drive for your car.

Ben Matlock:
My car?

Billy Lewis:
I can't take my pickup and the boys' car would never get out of the state. You're going too! Well if you've got time to plan a cruise you've got time to see a proper sendoff for the woman who pined away for you the best years of her life, can't you?

Benjamin Matlock:
[to Les Calhoun] You ever notice, when guys our age talk about the war, nobody asks which one?

Benjamin Matlock:
This undershirt was perfectly clean yesterday. When Mizz McCardle washes my shirts, they're clean!

Alice:
Who are you accusin'... me?

Benjamin Matlock:
All I'm sayin' is there's somethin' about this town and that boy's death yesterday that just plain don't feel right. And now that somebody's put my undershirt into it, I'm gonna find out why!

Ben Matlock:
What's the matter with you? Did someone cut the wire between your brain and your mouth?

Matlock:
Sometimes I tell what I know.... and sometimes I don't.

Well, put my leg in a tea kettle.

"Well put my leg in a tea kettle".