Murdoch Mysteries

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[Speaking of Wendell's attempt at a marriage of convenience] Nothing like a sanctified marriage to remove the whiff of pansy from the air.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[Putting a flower in Murdoch's lapel] Pansies! Symbol of fairies the world over!

Detective William Murdoch:
[Disturbed by Braxton's suicide] He had a beautiful home... wife... child. Not only does he throw all of that away but condemns himself to eternal damnation by commiting suicide.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Perhaps he felt that Hell was no worse than the torment he was living in.

Detective William Murdoch:
There's always hope.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
He was living a sham. Everything was a lie. Secretly he was in love with someone he could never be with, and furthermore that person was to marry someone else.

Detective William Murdoch:
Yes, but to kill himelf!

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Really, William. I'm surprised at your closed-mindedness!

Detective William Murdoch:
Leaving the Bible aside...

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Yes, could we?

Detective William Murdoch:
It goes against nature.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Oh, rubbish! Nature is full of omnisexual behavior. Have you never seen two male dogs at play?

Detective William Murdoch:
But those are dogs.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
We're all animals, William, behaving as nature intended. If God didn't want us to express our desires, then why did he give us these desires in the first place.

Detective William Murdoch:
To test our resolve.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
At whose expense? Surely this is not God's plan.

Detective William Murdoch:
It seems nothing is sacred these days!

Detective William Murdoch:
[Seeing Thomas Merrick lying motionless on a bed] What have you done to him?

Eunice McGinty:
[Smiling with amusement and echoing a line spoken earlier] Heroin... it really is a wonder drug.

[first lines]

Detective William Murdoch:
I'm merely stating that given that the film was based on a Jules Verne novel, it could pay at least cursory attention to scientific plausibility.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
I believe it's meant for children, William.

Detective William Murdoch:
Precisely. You wouldn't want them to go through life with a distorted understanding of physics.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
So it's not possible to reach the moon by way of cannon?

Detective William Murdoch:
Even if enough force could be summoned, the acceleration would crush you. I can't even begin to discuss the gravitational issues.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
I thought you said you loved this book as a child.

Detective William Murdoch:
Well, I know better now.

Sir Wilfred Laurier:
This project called for a policy of guaranteed reciprocal annihilation.

Terrence Meyers:
A series of enormous guns arrayed along the border capable of delivering an explosive device up to four hundred miles.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
So if one country starts a war, both are mutually assured destruction?

Sir Wilfred Laurier:
Enough! You're a good spy, Myers, but your skills as a toady are sadly lacking.

[last lines]

Dr. Julia Ogden:
William.

Detective William Murdoch:
Mn-mm.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
I had an interesting conversation with the inspector today.

Detective William Murdoch:
You did?

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Indeed. You defused a bomb that could have caused a war?

Detective William Murdoch:
I did.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
A bomb affixed to a rocket.

Detective William Murdoch:
Eh, yes.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
So, a hero again. [chuckles] He told me something else, as well.

Detective William Murdoch:
Well, the inspector certainly was talkative today.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
You rode in a balloon and jumped out of it. In some kind of suit.

Detective William Murdoch:
Mr. Pendrick assured me that it was safe.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
And flew! [sternly] William Henry Murdoch, if you *ever* do something like that ever again... you had better take me with you.

Terrence Meyers:
So... what is it exactly about our humble little country that you want so badly?

Allen Clegg:
Have you heard of Svante Arrhenius?

Detective William Murdoch:
The Swedish scientist who predicted that carbon dioxide emitted from coal burning would warm global temperatures by eight degrees by the end of the century.

Allen Clegg:
In a hundred years when America is nothing but a boundless desert, Canada will have the ideal climate. How could I not do everything I could to save my country?

[first lines]

Detective William Murdoch:
[riding in a sleigh, she kisses him] Julia! The driver.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
I'm sure he's seen it before. And much more I'd wager,

Detective William Murdoch:
You're probably right. [they kiss again] It's almost Christmas

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Hey, Jackson, what do you think you're doing?

Constable Jackson:
I- I'm measuring the height of the ceiling, sir. For the tree.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
The- There will not be a tree in here.

Constable Jackson:
No tree?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Bloody Germans and their idiotic traditions. Jackson, get down!

Detective William Murdoch:
Sir, a tree wouldn't be a terrible idea.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
This is a place of work, Murdoch, not a bloody herbarium.

Constable Jackson:
It's a pity we can't have a tree, sir. I-It would certainly make our task feel more festive.

Detective William Murdoch:
They do lighten the spirit don't they?

Constable Jackson:
Yes, sir. You-you should see my family's tree. It-it's ten feet tall if it was an inch. And when all the candles are ablaze, it is...

Detective William Murdoch:
That's a fire hazard, isn't it?

Constable Jackson:
Well, it may be, sir, but what a fire hazard!

Margaret Brackenreid:
I just made this. It's called eggnog. Try it. [he takes a sip] What do you think?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Waste of good rum.

[last lines]

Detective William Murdoch:
[to Julia, as the crowd sings "Joy to the World"] Lovely.

[first lines]

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
It's going to be a good day tomorrow, Murdoch.

Detective William Murdoch:
Sir?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
This piece of low-life scum gets what he deserves. [pokes the prisoner] Isn't that right?

Detective William Murdoch:
This isn't about vengeance, sir.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Sometimes that's all it's about.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
[about James Gillies] He's a master manipulator, and he relishes in the exercise of his ability.

Detective William Murdoch:
I agree. This is sport to him.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
I'd like to introduce him to the Marquis of Queensberry, but without the rules!

[last lines]

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
You're damn lucky that branch hung you up, Murdoch. You were unconscious when we found you.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Why did you jump?

Detective William Murdoch:
He was getting away. What would you have done? [to Crabtree] Any sign of him?

Constable George Crabtree:
Sir, the river gets fast and deep down there; if he was still handcuffed, there's no way...

Detective William Murdoch:
You didn't see him?

Constable George Crabtree:
No, sir.

Detective William Murdoch:
George!

Constable George Crabtree:
Sir, we'll keep looking. We'll keep looking, and we'll find him.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
William, let's get you back and warmed up. It's over, William. We have to believe that.

[first lines]

Detective William Murdoch:
Certainly is a unique frame, sir.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
I got it from home. It was a present from the mother-in-law. All I needed to do was remove the atrocity that was in it.

Detective William Murdoch:
What is that, sir? Mahogany?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Uhh, well, it's certainly one of the more exotic woods.

Detective William Murdoch:
Yes, it's too dark for teak.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Why are the two of you talking about the frame when it's the painting that merits attention? I think your use of colour is extraordinary.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
You needn't flatter me, doctor. But why exactly do you say so?

Dr. Julia Ogden:
With this painting, I see a creative vision taking hold. You seem to be capturing the essence of the north woods, and not just the actual of it.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Well, it's not 'alf bad for a copper.

Detective William Murdoch:
I am curious, sir; why did you use blue and pink for the trees?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Creative vision, Murdoch. Like Dr. Ogden just said. Oh, and, uh, I ran out of the green.

Constable Henry Higgins:
He's out cold, George.

Constable George Crabtree:
He's gone cold, Henry. He's dead.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
What can I do for you?

Tom Thomson:
I'm sorry to disturb you, but... I was hoping you might sell me your painting from the exhibition.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Sell it to you!

Tom Thomson:
If you would. I-I'd like to try my hand at the canvas. No-not to paint pale imitations of the natural world, but rather, to paint its essences a-as you do. I'd, I'd be prepared to pay.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Oh. Oh, well, I'm flattered, but, uh, it's not for sale. I'm thinking of re-entering it in the next exhibition.

Tom Thomson:
I'm sorry to hear that.

[he turns to leave]

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Hold your horses, hold your horses. The prize money was ten dollars; it's yours for fifteen.

Tom Thomson:
Fifteen?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Take it or leave it.

Tom Thomson:
All right. Fifteen.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Wise choices, Mister...?

Tom Thomson:
Thomson. Tom Thomson,

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Ah, well, Mr. Thomson, I hope I can provide some inspiration.

Tom Thomson:
Good day.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Good day to you too.

[Thomson leaves]

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Bloody fool.

Detective William Murdoch:
Migizi Pimise turned himself in yesterday. I suppose he knew someone would come looking for him.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
And the people he was with?

Detective William Murdoch:
They moved further north.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
It won't go well for them, will it?

Detective William Murdoch:
The silver will draw prospectors like moths to a flame. Migizi Pimise started a fight he couldn't possibly hope to win.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
But surely they have a treaty that will protect them. [Murdoch nods] Let's get you to bed.

Detective William Murdoch:
Our government is made of men of good conscience. Let's hope they honour it.

[Title Card]:
In 1903 silver was found near Cobalt, Ontario. The Provincial Government extinguished the Indian Land Title.

Sargeant Jasper Linney:
I suppose there is much that we could talk about.

Detective William Murdoch:
I suppose.

Sargeant Jasper Linney:
Would you rather we didn't?

Detective William Murdoch:
Another fine idea.

Reginald Poundsett:
...based on rigor mortis he was dead even before he found himself on those train tracks.

Detective William Murdoch:
There's nothing like that in this report.

Reginald Poundsett:
I base that assumption on my personal examination of Mr. Doakes' left arm at the crime scene.

Detective William Murdoch:
His left arm? Sergeant, why his left arm?

Reginald Poundsett:
Because it was the largest part of Doakes still imtact.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
What else do we have to go on?

Detective William Murdoch:
The killer's modus operendi: well-styled, well-rehearsed... murder with a personaltouch.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
The murderer's enjoyin' himself.

Detective William Murdoch:
I suppose.

Detective William Murdoch:
...and you have some basis, no doubt, on which to suspect, Mr. Fremont?

Reginald Poundsett:
Of course, it's not hard science, but I have observed that people frequently look to the lef when they are telling a lie.

Detective William Murdoch:
...and I have frequently observed that people look to the left when that is the direction they are going in.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
So, Fremont just walks away?

Constable George Crabtree:
It's all part of a larger plan.

Constable George Crabtree:
[slightly bewildered] A plan, sir?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[Condescendingly] crabtree, Murdoch isn't the only one around here who can think like a murderer, eh?

Constable George Crabtree:
If you say so, sir.

[first lines]

Detective William Murdoch:
Anything of use, Henry?

Constable Henry Higgins:
Well, I didn't see much, sir. The man who ran away was of medium build. Long black coats, but... I didn't see his face. Sir, It looks like his throat's been slit.

Detective William Murdoch:
If it had, there'd be significantly more blood; I suspect we'll find he's been garotted.

Constable Henry Higgins:
That's a new one for me, sir.

Detective William Murdoch:
[drops an item from a small bag into his hand] Good God!

Constable Henry Higgins:
What is it, sir?

Detective William Murdoch:
It appears to be a human thumb.

Dr. Emily Grace:
This was no random killing.

Detective William Murdoch:
What makes you say that?

Dr. Emily Grace:
He's missing a thumb.

Detective William Murdoch:
Huh.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
We've a man with a thumb to spare lying in the morgue.

[last lines]

Detective William Murdoch:
Constable George Crabtree, you are under arrest for the murder of Sergeant Archibald Brooks.

Detective William Murdoch:
Julia, I believe I may be the Artful Detective.

Constable George Crabtree:
[referring to suspect Liam Cuddy] As a Catholic, is he not supposed to confess his sins before he dies?

Detective William Murdoch:
Crabtree, has it ever occurred to you that a murderer can also be a liar... even to the great almighty?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Well, let's round up the usual troublemakers.

Detective William Murdoch:
Who would they be, sir?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
The Irish Catholics, of course.

Detective William Murdoch:
Sir, I'm Irish Catholic.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Are you a troublemaker? Start with the known agitators, and let's see where we are...

[first lines]

Francis Grout:
Help. help! Oh. Help! Somebody help me! Oh! Somebody help me!

[last lines]

Detective William Murdoch:
I didn't know you'd spent time in Prague.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Yes, some.

Detective William Murdoch:
Funny. How two people can work so closely together an...

Dr. Julia Ogden:
and not really know anything about one another.

Detective William Murdoch:
Exactly. You must tell me all about Prague.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Well, I had a journal when I was there.

Detective William Murdoch:
Oh. Well, I'd very much like to read it.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
William! Really!

Detective William Murdoch:
Yes. Really.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Well, perhaps some excerpts.

Detective William Murdoch:
[Analyzing] Standard crossbow arrows. Robbery likely wasn't the motive.

Constable George Crabtree:
What does it all mean, sir?

Detective William Murdoch:
I don't know. It seemsa though the killer hunted his victim like an animal.

Constable George Crabtree:
I mean so elaborate... with arrows and all!

Detective William Murdoch:
Arrows are silent and less likely to draw attention, or maybe the killer was making a statement. The use of arrows would suggest the killer had a flair for the dramatic.

[first lines]

Mother:
Tommy! [Tommy is transfixed] Tommy? Tommy! Baker, have you not heard me calling you? What are you making about? [she sees the naked statue on the bench] Oh, for the love of God! [guiding Tommy away] You just wait till we get home.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Where did the statue come from?

Detective William Murdoch:
No-one knows;. It certainly wasn't commissioned.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
A nude *not* commissioned by our city fathers; [chuckles] why am I not surprised? I must say, it's very good; she looks almost real.

Detective William Murdoch:
So perhaps she should be in a gallery, where the craftsmanship can be more fully appreciated.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Craftsmanship! [laughing] William, say what you really mean. She's bare naked in a city park; it's a civil outrage.

Detective William Murdoch:
Which you seem to be thoroughly enjoying.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
I certainly am. The stir is clearly what the artist intended.

Detective William Murdoch:
I did read about a patent for electroplating corpses issued in France some years ago.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
We'd all be better off if they stuck to wine, cheese, and bloody frogs' legs.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Crabtree, stop being such a happy dafty

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Right, Doctor. We'll leave you to figure out how the girl died.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
It could be natural causes, Inspector.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
I know. It's never murder till it's murder.

Detective William Murdoch:
You must be tired.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
I'm thoroughly exhausted.

Detective William Murdoch:
Well then, I propose a light supper, an early night, and no files.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
No files! How refreshing. Although I have to say, nothing is more exciting than working with you again... Well, maybe one thing.

Detective William Murdoch:
Shall we, then?

[last lines]

Dr. Julia Ogden:
[voiceover as Rebecca James reads a note from her] Dear Miss James, may I suggest you look at chapter two on osteology. I think you may find it enlightening. Sincerely, Julia Ogden.

Detective William Murdoch:
When you broke down the door, this is how you found Mr. Grimesby?

Stanley Paulk:
Face down in his own filth! Fitting I'd say!

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Why would a man who's clearly right-handed write with his left hand?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Because he's mad as a box of frogs!

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[Referring to Mycroft, the ventriloquist's dummy] Will someone please put a termite up that puppet's applecart?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Wat are you doin' shootin' bloody arrows in yor office?

Detective William Murdoch:
I thought it less disruptive than gunfire.

Detective William Murdoch:
...there would appear that there is a phantom killer on the loose.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[to Murdoch] Listen, don't take nonsense of those bloody eggheads, me old mucker. Show them what Toronto coppers are made of... capiche?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[Brackenreid clicks his tongue knowingly] Si.

Detective William Murdoch:
...I suggest that one way to solve this cae is by focusing our effort on Mr. Perry.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
And break him with what? We've got no hard evidence, and his daddy's barristers are probable en route as we speak.

Detective William Murdoch:
Applied physics. Even a planet can be moved with the proper leverage. I just have to find it.

Constable George Crabtree:
Sir, do you notice that?

Detective William Murdoch:
What?

Constable George Crabtree:
Peace and quiet. It's like... a blast of silence.

Cecily Welsh:
[loudly] No danger! He's stuck atop a pole with a bomb strapped to him.

Detective William Murdoch:
Ma'am, please keep your voice down; you wouldn't want to be the one to set it off, now would you?

Constable George Crabtree:
[Murdoch and Crabtree walk away] Hold on, sir; I doubt if her voice is loud enough...

Detective William Murdoch:
Yes, George, I know that. You know that. We don't need her to know that.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
We're not moving.

Detective William Murdoch:
The streets are getting busier and busier, sir.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Because they're always bloody tearing them up.

Detective William Murdoch:
I told you we should have taken the bicycles, sir.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Only a fool would ride a bicycle on a street full of wagons, streetcars, and [car horn sounds] damn motorcars.

[last lines]

Dr. Julia Ogden:
I hope I'm not overstepping my boundaries, but... I spoke with Dr. Grace. I know that she's very sorry.

Constable George Crabtree:
I appreciate that; just I, I really don't want to discuss it.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
She's a good woman, George, and one certainly deserving of a second chance.

Constable George Crabtree:
Well, I think in breaking things off with her I've given her just that. But I really do appreciate that, Doctor, thank you.

Detective William Murdoch:
[Speaking on Murdoch's theory that the now dead tiger was being deliberatel starved] So, someone could have taken the food away then...

Bob Selby:
I don't see how, Detective. If a hand came between Saber and his food guaranteed that hand would be a goner.

Constable George Crabtree:
You ever dream about joining the circus as a boy?

Detective William Murdoch:
No, I didn't, George.

Constable George Crabtree:
I did. It's because I'm an adventure seeker, whih is why I became a cop apparently. At least that's what Lady Miranda said.

Detective William Murdoch:
Lady Minerva?

Constable George Crabtree:
She's the gypsy fortune teller.

Detective William Murdoch:
I highly doubt she's a true fortune teller, George.

Constable George Crabtree:
Oh, sir, I believe she is. She knew I was a foundling, and she wasn't guessing. It was in the cards.

Detective William Murdoch:
Did she have anything relative to say about the case?

Constable George Crabtree:
She believes the tiger is innocent.

Detective William Murdoch:
All animals are innocent, George, humans excepted.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Nobody commits murder in my jail cells and gets away with it! [Looking at Athens the monkey] Understand? Hah?

Lady Minerva:
I only know what the caeds tell me.

Detective William Murdoch:
Begging your pardon, but cards don't speak. They're made in a print shop.

Lady Minerva:
do you believe in God, Detective?

Detective William Murdoch:
Of course.

Lady Minerva:
God spoke to Moses through the burning bush, did he not?

Detective William Murdoch:
What of it?

Lady Minerva:
If God spoke to Moses through the burning bush, why shouldn't he speak throough cards? Are you so arrogant as to assume you know the ways of God?

Detective William Murdoch:
No, I just don't think God speaks through you.

Count Leoline:
[speaking of the murdered Kitty] I would have given my life for hers.

Detective William Murdoch:
Well, Count, you may yet get that chance.

Detective William Murdoch:
So after you retire for the night, the girls are unsupervised?

Mrs. Irvin:
I sleep with one ear open, detective.

Constable George Crabtree:
[after discovering the murdered girls love letters and diary and sniffing them] The secret life of teenage girls! [Murdoch pulls the letters away from him/]

Detective William Murdoch:
[after Crabtree shows Murdoch a copy of Bram Stoker's book] Well, it seems everyone is reading "Dracula" but me.!

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[impatiently, after reading the teenaged girl's love letters] Hard to keep your lunch down when you read tripe like this!

Detective William Murdoch:
[Referring to the dessicated body that has fallen through the ceiling during a live performance of "Macbeth"] Must have made quite an entrance!

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[Sarcastically] Audience lapped it up. Ignorant sods thought it was part of the play.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
It's so hard to find a good skeleton these days. Now I have two.

Detective William Murdoch:
Julia, I feel that without a post-mortem to establish the reason for Ben's death...

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Dr. Falwell would never allow it... nor would Dr. Abbott... especially if one of them is involved.

Detective William Murdoch:
Perhaps in this case it would be better to ask for forgiveness later than permission now.

Detective William Murdoch:
Ah, Doctor, have you news from the post-mortem?

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Indeed, Miss Rowan didn't drown. The coroner found she died of an injected overdose of heroin. The needle went through her uniforminto her mid-back.

Detective William Murdoch:
An unlikely place to inject oneself.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Precisely... she was murdered.

Detective William Murdoch:
It's good work anyway, George.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Good work! You're going to turn him into another bloody Murdoch.

Peter Watt:
[Talking about his murdered friend and glue factory business partner] Two fraternity brothers who wanted to conquer the world. Of course, we didn't know it would be the world of adhesives.

Detective William Murdoch:
You boys work here at the factory?... A man was murdered here last night... Did any of you see anything?... Go near the body maybe?

Constable George Crabtree:
Anything you could tell us would be helpful, lads.

Charlie:
We weren't there, SIR!

Detective William Murdoch:
[the boy laugh derisively] That's interesting beause we have proof your shoes were. How do you suppose they got here without you in them?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[Frustrated by the orphans] These little toe-rags are about to get an eye-openin'.

[first lines]

Detective William Murdoch:
Good morning, Constable.

Constable George Crabtree:
The Rat Portage Thistles have this smooth-skating cover point, Hod Stewart. If the Ottawa Hockey Club can sign him next year, they'll win the Stanley Cup.

Armstrong:
Not possible, Crabtree. Too much infighting in Ottawa.

Constable George Crabtree:
Armstrong, you clearly don't know the first thing about hockey. Sometimes I wonder why I even talk... [sees Laurier]

Sir Wilfred Laurier:
I'm here to talk to Detective Murdoch.

Armstrong:
And you would be?

Constable George Crabtree:
For the love of Pete, Armstrong, it is the Prime Minister, man! Sir, right this way. [slaps paper on desk] That's called a newspaper, Armstrong. Try reading one.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Suppose the Americans proved that we tried to fund the Confederates and these Copperheads, do you really think they'd up and march across the border?

Terrance Meyers:
Probably not how it would happen. A bully doesn't pick a fight with a punch; he provokes it with an insult.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Most fistfights start with a shoving match.

Terrance Meyers:
Exactly. And then they would demand an apology; if we gave them one, we'd be admitting guilt. The yellow press would demand punitive action. Any further denial would be viewed as fresh provocation, and so it would go.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Until they're marching across the border.

Terrance Meyers:
And make no mistakes; they'd hand us our heads.

Detective William Murdoch:
A million dollars in gold.

Terrance Meyers:
Actually it's only worth about three hundred and seventy thousand now, Murdoch. Market value of gold has diminished somewhat since the civil war.

Detective William Murdoch:
Hm. And what's the government going to do with all of this found money?

Terrance Meyers:
Oh, that's top secret.

Detective William Murdoch:
Really?

Terrance Meyers:
Not really, no. I have no idea; not my job.

Detective William Murdoch:
What exactly is your job, Mr. Meyers?

Terrance Meyers:
Oh, that is top secret.

[last lines]

Detective William Murdoch:
Prime Minister.

Sir Wilfred Laurier:
Detective Murdoch. Inspector.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Sir.

Sir Wilfred Laurier:
I wanted to thank you personally. Your country owes you a great debt.

Detective William Murdoch:
Thank you, sir.

Sir Wilfred Laurier:
Gentlemen. [Laurier leaves]

Terrance Meyers:
You realize, of course, the country can never really know the debt it owes you?

Detective William Murdoch:
I'm aware of that, Mr. Meyers.

Terrance Meyers:
Hah! Excellent. Until we meet again?

Terrance Meyers:
Oddly, this time, Mr. Meyers, I look forward to it.

Terrance Meyers:
Hnh.

Detective William Murdoch:
[looking through the clothes of the decomposed body and discovering a derringer] Hmmmm, interesting...

Detective William Murdoch:
Perhaps he was expecting trouble.

Detective William Murdoch:
Indeed.

Constable George Crabtree:
[Murdoch finding a whiskey flask and then some chains] His pocket flask has held up well, and, sir, it appears those chains were wrapped around his entire body.

Detective William Murdoch:
In that case, George, however he wen into the water, I'd say it's same to assume someine didn't want him coming back.

Detective William Murdoch:
It would appear our case from the past has taken a detour unto the present.

Detective William Murdoch:
All I know is that I will never love anyone like I do you.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
We never love the same way twice, but you will love again. Love is like gravity, William. You have to let yourself fall.

Constable George Crabtree:
We have reason to believe that the victim died at a French restaurant shortly before he was killed.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
French? Didn't even know we had those.

Constable George Crabtree:
Well, we do now... several apparently. Higgins has the adresses over here.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Well, I don't really like them very much.

Constable George Crabtree:
French restaurants?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
No, the French.

Constable George Crabtree:
...you and I are thinking along the same lines.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[sighs] That's a chilling thought, Crabtee!

[first lines]

Constable George Crabtree:
There you go! Trounce him!

Edna Brooks:
Get him!

Constable George Crabtree:
Edna. I had no idea you had such a passion for wrestling.

Edna Brooks:
Oh, I don't. I... I merely accompany Simon.

Simon Brooks:
Go, Randolph, go!

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
The neighborhood's coming up, Mr. Chilton. Rents must be a fortune these days.

Mr. Chilton:
Quite right, Inspector; tough luck for my tenants.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
You own the building?

Mr. Chilton:
I do.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
How does a barber end up owning the whole building?

Mr. Chilton:
Simple. I save ten percent of my earnings and I never buy anything frivolous. Why put a new floor in when you can throw down a rug?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Tell that to the wife.

Mr. Chilton:
[chuckles] How are you planning for your future, Inspector?

Mr. Chilton:
I put my extra money in Margaret's cookie jar at the end of the month.

Constable George Crabtree:
I think the idea of Henderson giving up his companionship in a fake manoeuvre difficult to believe.

The Masked Marauder:
I'm telling the truth. I couldn'ta killed him.

Constable George Crabtree:
All right. Lying is one thing; attacking the integrity of the great sport of wrestling, that is quite another.

Constable George Crabtree:
The only constant in this investigation is that each wrestler is proved a fraud.

Detective William Murdoch:
True. The Cossack isn't Russian, and the chief rivals were actually friends.

Constable George Crabtree:
A-a-and in our championship match the other night, i-it involved a fake manoeuvre and a prearranged outcome.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
So? What of it?

Constable George Crabtree:
Well, sir, as much as it pains me to say, it's quite possible the entire sport is fake.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Outlandish! Wrestling is a sport of honor and integrity.

Jean Hamilton:
Here is the campaign literature I'd like for you to distribute. It's rather exciting, isn't it. Think of all the good we can do for Toronto should we succeed.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Banning books?

Jean Hamilton:
Oh yes. Did you know our libraries give children access to the criminal writings of such amoral libertines as Mark Twain. Frankly I'd like to *burn* his books.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
[hands back the pamphlets] Perhaps you ought to burn these instead.

[last lines]

Constable George Crabtree:
Sirs, you called for me?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Ah, Crabtree. We wanted to compliment you on a fine piece of work.

Detective William Murdoch:
Yes.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Even if your diligence did uncover that professional wrestling is a sham.

Detective William Murdoch:
Yes, I doubt fans will continue to follow it so feverishly once the truth reaches them.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Nevertheless, I think it's about time you got measured for a new suit.

Constable George Crabtree:
Sir?

Detective William Murdoch:
Yes, George, you've been serving in a constable's tunic long enough.

Constable George Crabtree:
Sirs, uh...

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Don't be thick, bugalugs. There's an opening at Station House Number 3 for a new detective. I've put you forward.

Detective William Murdoch:
They'll be lucky to have you, George.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
I find it hard to believe that such a precise model was built by an imbecile!

Constable George Crabtree:
[Trying to be politically correct] Ooooh-sir, uh, I believe such people as Lydia are no longer referred to as imbecile. It's felt to be demeaning. The correct term nowadays is moron.

Detective William Murdoch:
We need to determine which boarders left without notice prior to that date.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Looking for wayward boarding house tenants? Now there's a bloody needle in the haystack.

[first lines]

Voice on Telephone:
[gasps] Help. [gasps] Help. [gasps] Help.

[last lines]

Dr. Julia Ogden:
He's ready.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Sir, we are obliged to look at any reports of criminal activity.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
More than five minutes on this, Murdoxh, and YOU'LL be a telephone operator.

Rudolph Sutton:
Barkeley Blake is a gaseous, bloated mental midget who just happened to pull the wool over the scientific world's eyes.

Detective William Murdoch:
Clearly, Professor Sutton, you do not care for Mr. Blake.

Rudolph Sutton:
No, I, um, I adore the way people confuse scientific rigor with nice teeth.

Barclay Blake:
Detective, I've spent so much time amongst the dead, yet it never prepared me for this.

Mary Ann McConnell:
Detective, it's very difficult to be a female paleontologist.

[first lines]

Dr. Emily Grace:
Good morning, Lillian.

Lillian Moss:
Last day as Dr. Grace.

Dr. Emily Grace:
Just because I'll no longer be Toronto's coroner doesn't mean I'll cease being a doctor.

Lillian Moss:
Of course.

Dr. Emily Grace:
How are you progressing next door?

Lillian Moss:
Everything's packed up; only some final errands to see to.

Dr. Emily Grace:
Then, could I trouble you to pick up my dress from the seamstress.

Lillian Moss:
Of course. To think, in only a few days we'll be crossing the Atlantic for London, England. I cannot wait.

Dr. Emily Grace:
I love you.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Talkative! He's got more bloody rabbit than all of Margaret's female relatives put together, Murdoch.

Dr. Emily Grace:
Good day, Inspector. A fresh corpse and a crime scene; what more could one ask for?

Dr. Emily Grace:
What confuses me's that I still love her even though I so badly want to hate her.

[last lines]

Dr. Emily Grace:
So, I suppose this is it.

Constable George Crabtree:
Suppose it is. [he tips a porter to take Emily's suitcase] Thank you.

[Emily and Crabtree hug]

Constable George Crabtree:
You have to let go, Emily.

Dr. Emily Grace:
But what if I don't want to, George? What if... what if this is a mistake?

Constable George Crabtree:
Then that's what you need to find out. Right?

Dr. Emily Grace:
Good-bye, George Crabtree.

Constable George Crabtree:
Good-bye, Emily Grace.

Constable George Crabtree:
[Looking at the murdered body off-camera and referring to the coroner] What do you think he'll have to say about the cause of Mr. Jenkins' death?

Detective William Murdoch:
[Sarcastically] With his gift for stating the obvious. he'll no doubt conclude that this was not a case of poisoning. [the camera then tilts downward to reveal Jenkins' head with a large hole in it]

Detective William Murdoch:
[to Brackenredid] Sir, the guilty rarely volunteertheir motive or undercut their alibi.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[Sarcastically while looking at a list of names on Murdoch's blackboard] Oh, good! A chart!

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Sir, in a case with ten suspects, careful organization of information is paramount.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[With resentment toward Murdoch] You know, Detective, from the first day I arrived, you have almost without exception shown a complete lack of faith in me. I'd like to ask you now why the hell that is!

Detective William Murdoch:
It's not a lack of faith in you.

Dr. Llewllyn Francis:
[Sarcasticallym after being asked a question by Murdoch] zzzi'll knoe better when I've flushed and drained the wound back at the morgue, mu homr away from home... away from home.

[first lines]

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[on phone] I will do immediately. Thank you.

[hangs up]

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Crabtree! In here!

Constable George Crabtree:
Sirs?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Pack up your desk.

Constable George Crabtree:
Excuse me?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
And buy a suit. Davis's Station House Number 3 wants you as his detective. You start in two weeks.

Constable George Crabtree:
Sir! Truly?

Detective William Murdoch:
Detective Crabtree. Congratulations.

Constable George Crabtree:
[laughing] Detective Crabtree. I like the sound of that.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
No time to celebrate; we've got to get to the polls. Margaret's waiting.

Detective William Murdoch:
Oh, sir, I already voted. In the advance polls, in case I was detained on an investigation.

Terrence Meyers:
This is an unfortunate turn of events. I personally recruited McCarthy out of McGill University. Trained him myself.

Detective William Murdoch:
Hm, perhaps *that* would explain his fate.

Terrence Meyers:
I need you to help me find his killer.

Detective William Murdoch:
Ah yes, I imagine it's a matter of

Terrence Meyers, Detective William Murdoch:
National Security.

Agnes Macphail:
Excuse me, Miss Haile, may I please have your autograph?

Margaret Haile:
Oh, how lovely of you to ask. You do know, young lady, that I didn't win the election?

Agnes Macphail:
I know. One day I'd like to run in an election too.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Well, you never know; one day you may just win.

Margaret Haile:
To whom should I address this?

Agnes Macphail:
My name is Agnes. Agnes Macphail.

[last lines]

Edna Brooks:
Thank you for meeting me, George.

Constable George Crabtree:
How's Simon?

Edna Brooks:
He's happy. His father's back.

Constable George Crabtree:
How are you?

Edna Brooks:
They told me he was dead, George.

Constable George Crabtree:
Edna...

Edna Brooks:
I mean, one minute I'm to be Mrs. George Crabtree and the next minute I'm back to being Mrs. Archibald Brooks, and... I don't know what to do, George.

Constable George Crabtree:
There's not anything you can do, Edna. Your husband's come back to you; Simon's father's returned to him. Your family's whole again.

Edna Brooks:
George, I...

Constable George Crabtree:
Edna, go back to your life and be happy. I want you to be happy.

Edna Brooks:
Good-bye, George.

Arthur Conan Doyle:
[Introducing Murdoch to Sara Pensall] This is Detective Murdoch of the Toronto Constabulary, who I can assure you is not a fictional creation.

Arthur Conan Doyle:
Well, this has been quite an adventure. Perhaps I could treat you to a nightcap.

Detective William Murdoch:
No, thank you, sir. I've had enough 'spirits' for one night.

Fouad Sharif:
[angrily to Rutherford] You can keep me out, but you never can keep out the curse of my ancestors.

Detective William Murdoch:
[after seeing some of Crabtree's fans mobbing him] George, are you quite all right? You look rather persecuted.

Constable George Crabtree:
Price of fame, sir.

Dr. Iris Bajjali:
...if all goes according to plan, I will be back among pyramids very soon... only this time in the Mexican rain forest - Chichen Itza.

Detective William Murdoch:
Mayan ruins - how wonderful!

Dr. Iris Bajjali:
You would like it, I think. The thrill of discovery is the same. whatver it is our discoveries.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
The invitation said nothing about bringing a guest, William.

Detective William Murdoch:
It said nothing about not bringing one either.

H.G. Wells:
A better man is within our grasp.

[first lines]

MC at Police Chiefs' Dinner:
Gentlemen, it is my distinct honour to introduce our keynote speaker, Inspector Thomas Brackenreid.

Inspector Brackenreid:
Gentlemen, those of us at Police Station Number 4 of the Toronto Constabulary had never been confronted by such a puzzling crime. The victim was found in a windowless room that was locked from the inside. But that was not the most baffling part. The victim had been electrocuted; yet the room had no electricity. All that was out of the ordinary was a shattered jar, a chain, a wooden disc and some foil. It soon became apparent that the victim had been killed by a Leyden jar.

Chief Stockton:
A question, Inspector.

Inspector Brackenreid:
Chief Constable Stockton. Of course.

Chief Stockton:
What is a Leyden jar?

Inspector Brackenreid:
Ah, it's a device for storing electric charge.

Chief Stockton:
Then it's a battery.

Inspector Brackenreid:
No, no, it's... its a... [consults his notes] Ahem, it's a capacitor.

Chief Stockton:
What's a capacitor?

Inspector Brackenreid:
A device for storing electric charge.

Chief Stockton:
Then it's a battery.

Inspector Brackenreid:
Well.

Inspector William Murdoch:
Inspector, if I may interject?

Inspector Brackenreid:
Of course. Detective William Murdoch, Gentlemen.

Inspector Brackenreid:
What did Stockton want to speak to you about?

Inspector William Murdoch:
He suggested I apply for the Inspector position coming open at Station Number 3.

Inspector Brackenreid:
You. An inspector?

Inspector William Murdoch:
I think my record speaks for itself.

Inspector Brackenreid:
Murdoch, you're a bloody good copper, and you've got a mind like no-one else I've ever met, but trust me - you're not cut out for the shite that comes with the job.

Chief Stockton:
Murdoch. Hmph. Good copper. But it'd be a bloody cold day in Hell before a papist becomes an inspector in my police force.

Inspector Brackenreid:
Sir, Detective Murdoch is quite exceptional. The fact that he's Catholic...

Chief Stockton:
Thomas. You're an ambitious man. And I can see some day you being an alderman or maybe even a mayor. But Toronto is a Protestant city. You'd be wise to remember that.

[last lines]

Inspector Brackenreid:
You heard about that job yet that you applied for?

Inspector William Murdoch:
Not yet.

Inspector Brackenreid:
I see. I'd like you to reconsider.

Inspector William Murdoch:
Sir?

Inspector Brackenreid:
This is a good station-house, and for reasons beyond me the men seem to think the world of you. And it's also plain to see that I could clearly use a good right-hand [looks at left arm in sling] left-hand man to keep me out of trouble.

Inspector William Murdoch:
I also suspect that, as you warned me, I wouldn't care much for the... politics involved with the job.

Inspector Brackenreid:
No, you wouldn't.

Inspector William Murdoch:
In that case, it would be my honour to continue to serve here at Station-house Number 4.

Inspector Brackenreid:
I'll inform the Chief Constable of your decision.

Inspector William Murdoch:
Thank you, sir. [goes to door] And the raise, sir?

Inspector Brackenreid:
Don't push your luck, Murdoch.

Inspector William Murdoch:
Right, then.

Inspector Brackenreid:
[after beating up a prisoner to get information] Murdoch, you may have your fancy-dan way of doin' things. but my way can be very effective.

Inspector Brackenreid:
Murdoch, what kind of man delivers a corpse to a police station?

[first lines]

Trainer:
Yours, man, he's all yours. You have to think.

Constable Henry Higgins:
I'd place a bet on George Dixon, if I were you, Jackson.

Constable Slugger Jackson:
It's illegal, Henry, we're constables.

Constable Henry Higgins:
We are off-duty constables.

Constable Slugger Jackson:
Even so, I'd rather enjoy the fight unfettered.

Constable Henry Higgins:
Okay, but Little Chocolate is sure to win; he's pound for pound the finest fighter there is. He's Canadian, no less. It's almost unpatriotic not to bet.

Constable Slugger Jackson:
Then why don't *you* bet on him, Henry.

Constable Henry Higgins:
Don't have any more money on me.

Constable Slugger Jackson:
[laughs] What a surprise.

Constable Henry Higgins:
I gave it all to George for the Inspector's bachelor party.

Constable Slugger Jackson:
That is not an excuse; I contributed too.

Constable Henry Higgins:
I doubt Inspector Murdoch even wants a bachelor party.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Inspector Thomas Brackenreid. This is my station-house. Who are you?

Bat Masterson:
Bat Masterson.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Bat Masterson, the lawman?

Bat Masterson:
None other.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Well, let him out, Jackson.

Bat Masterson:
Oh, no need to hurry; it's too late. Damn shame. I had Robert Parker and Harry Longabaugh dead to rights.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
You're saying...

Bat Masterson:
Damn right. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid are in Toronto.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Bloody hell.

Reporter Matthew Booth:
Mr. Masterson!

Bat Masterson:
Yes?

Reporter Matthew Booth:
Matthew Booth from the Toronto Gazette. I just read in the New York Telegraph that you and the constabulary are hot on the trail of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

Bat Masterson:
That's right.

Reporter Matthew Booth:
I'd like to do a story on you: Lawman turned sportswriter chases the infamous Butch and Sundance.

Bat Masterson:
Hmm. Certainly. But I can't spare much time.

Reporter Matthew Booth:
Is it true you were born in Canada?

Bat Masterson:
Yes, Quebec, but you could keep that off the record. I am as American as they come!

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
The fact of the matter is Sundance and Butch are on the loose. Bat knows them better than we do, Murdoch. He'll take the lead.

Detective William Murdoch:
Very Well.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
So where should we start, Bat?

Bat Masterson:
Hmm. Take me to the most reputable house of ill repute in town.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
That's the thing about Canadian law enforcement, Mr. Masterson. Patience, diligence and the reliance on intellect trump the quick draw of a gun every time.

[last lines]

[a belly-dancer begins dancing at Murdoch's bachelor party]

Mrs. Kitchen:
Well, I suppose I had better be going. Enjoy yourself, Detective Murdoch. Breakfast will be ready at six, as usual.

Bat Masterson:
[voice-over, as Murdoch reads the note the dancer has given him] With utmost admiration, from one lawman to another. Bat Masterson.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[pushing Murdoch into a chair] Have a seat, Murdoch.

Bat Masterson:
[watching a belly-dancer] I don't think I've seen a dance quite like it.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Reminds me of Afghanistan. Never thought I'd see it here, but I can't say that I mind.

Detective Chester MacDonald:
[witnessing an execution] I hope you're not one of those gaint-hearted sorts, Murdoch. Fox crawled out of Hellto be born. Mr. Dillard and me are just shipping him back.

Detective William Murdoch:
You found a witness?

Detective Chester MacDonald:
You can't find witnesses if there aren't any witnesses.

Detective William Murdoch:
[dryly sarcastic] I'll make a note of that.

Detective William Murdoch:
George, are you all right?

Constable George Crabtree:
[clearly shaken] No, sir. When he took my trousers, he took my dignity.

Theodore Pleasant:
Hanging is a miserable business, Thomas. The condemned die only omce. The executioner dies every time.

[first lines]

Anna Rico:
[laughing] Come on. You promised.

Frederick Longfellow:
I will show you... if you don't tell *anyone*.

Anna Rico:
Who would I tell, Freddy?

[they enter room 206]

Anna Rico:
Wow!

Frederick Longfellow:
As I promised: the magnificent Vital Motion Plus.

Anna Rico:
Hm.

Frederick Longfellow:
Care to try it out?

Anna Rico:
Oh, I don't know.

Frederick Longfellow:
It's harmless, my dear, totally harmless. Actually it will do you a power of good.

Anna Rico:
And how does it do a person good, Freddy?

Frederick Longfellow:
You need not worry about the principle of the thing, just hop in.

Anna Rico:
Are you sure?

Frederick Longfellow:
You won't regret it, I promise. But, to experience the real benefits the electrodes... should be applied next to flesh.

Anna Rico:
Oh.

Frederick Longfellow:
If you dare, my beauty.

Anna Rico:
[unbuttoning her dress] You really know how to persuade a woman.

Mayor Clarkson:
Have a word. He's gaining a reputation.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
You mean she is.

Mayor Clarkson:
No difference; they are man and wife, are they not?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[to Julia] Now that you're married, Doctor, the world sees you differently. You're his property. And whether you like it or not, your actions are his actions.

Margaret Haile:
Lillian is a fellow member of the Socialist League. They've offered to run Julia as a candidate.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Am I not too well heeled for the Socialists?

Dr. Emily Grace:
What about the Liberal Party?

Margaret Haile:
A woman as a Liberal candidate? In Ontario? Never.

Thomas Edison Jr.:
Now that I'm no longer shackled to the Edison name, what do you think of Thomas Willard?

Detective William Murdoch:
That's a perfectly good name.

Thomas Edison Jr.:
Perhaps Burton Willard has more authority.

Detective William Murdoch:
Also good.

Thomas Edison Jr.:
Burton Willard. I can see that name splashed across a billboard.

[last lines]

Simon Brooks:
Here. [hands Crabtree the hammer]

Constable George Crabtree:
Oh, I don't know. I've got a-a-a sore elbow, you see. I don't... [he rings the bell]

Simon Brooks:
Oh-ho!

Constable George Crabtree:
Ohh, who knew!

Simon Brooks:
I can't believe it.

Edna Brooks:
Well.

[first lines]

Crown Attorney Alister Gordon:
In the matter of the murder of Percival Thompson, the evidence against Mary Thompson is unequivocal. You will learn of her fingermarks on the knife that was plunged six times into the chest of her husband. You will learn of how that same weapon was discovered lying on her bedside the next morning. And you will learn of Mrs. Thompson's claims that she has no memory of these events.

Margaret Brackenreid:
[as Murdoch and Julia kneel at the alter] The best man has yet to arrive.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
That's his tough luck.

Margaret Brackenreid:
[pointedly] He has the ring.

Father Clements:
William Murdoch, Julia Ogden...

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Bloody hell!

[last lines]

Dr. Julia Ogden:
My hair must look a fright.

Detective William Murdoch:
No, it never looked lovelier.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
I think this has been the perfect wedding day.

Detective William Murdoch:
with one exception. I have yet to kiss the bride.

Harry Houdini:
[Because the police have no hard evidence against him] I'll say good evening, gentlemen.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
I'm watching you, Harold.

Harry Houdini:
[Hearing the name Harold makes him stop and turn arround] Harry. Harry Houdini. Soon everyone will know my name.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Not for the reasons you'd like.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[Referring to Houdini] That man is an arrogant littl git!

Detective William Murdoch:
Can't arrest him for that, sir.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Another flaw in the justice system.

Secretary:
Mr. Sims is working late, and he doesn't like to be observed.

Detective William Murdoch:
He'll be in even worse mood once I'm finished with him.

Constable George Crabtree:
Sir, how can this be an inside job if both inside men are dead?

Detective William Murdoch:
Because there's something else at work here, George, that we hadn't thought of... a third man.

Detective William Murdoch:
[to Crabtree when he sees Meyers near the crime scene] If he's here, then something very very bad is afoot.

Terrence Meyers:
Mr. Meyers, after our first adventure what makes you think I would possibly do your bidding?

Terrence Meyers:
Because, detective, you have a murder to solve.

Terrence Meyers:
Must I remind you gentlemen that I am far beyond the reach of the law?

Detective William Murdoch:
But not the press, and I'm sure they would be very interested in what I know.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[Looking at te provocative photos of the murdered girl] Let me see these. Hmmmm...

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[Holding one up o see it better] Nice!

Detective William Murdoch:
[Amused but critical of what he perceives is the Inspector's lacivious reaction] Inspector... really!

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
I was referring to the quality of the work. The composition is professional, and the paper stock is... oh, wel, the paper stock is top-notch.

Constable George Crabtree:
[Chirping in] The paper stock, sir - first thing I noticed.

James Pendrick:
[Sarcastically to Murdoch when he sees him] Murdoch, what fiendish crime of mine brings you here this time?

Detective William Murdoch:
[looking at the body that has fallen for apparently no reason] Seal all exits, George. This man's been murdered!

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[to Murdoch] Why do you always dress up simple concepts in five dollar words?

Detective William Murdoch:
Would a guilty person be so guileless?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Only if his guilessness was an act.

Detective William Murdoch:
[running into the room excitedly] George, I've cracked the code!. Arrest them ! Arrest them all!

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[with some annoyance] You've got guts, Crabtree... not much in the way of brains... but guts.

[first lines]

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Did you read in the Sunday Gazette about Britain's discovery expedition to the Antarctic?

Detective William Murdoch:
Yes. Robert Scott, I believe. How incredible would it be to partake in such a journey!

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Incredible, perhaps, but I can't say I envy them spending months on a ship without any guarantee of safe return.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[about going to investigate a murder on an army base] Just mind that you stand your ground.

Detective William Murdoch:
I'm sorry, sir.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Well, in my experience the military takes care of its own. They won't enjoy the constabulary lookin' into their business.

Detective William Murdoch:
I'll proceed with respect and authority of law.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[Soberly] Authority first, Murdoch. Respect will follow.

Mr. Skinner:
[Annoyed that Murdoch wants to question him] Will this take long, Detective? I have thirsty patrons needing eye-openers.

Dr. Llewllyn Francis:
Is that everything?

Detective William Murdoch:
No, Doctor, might you enlighten me with the common symptoms of this sleeping sickness.

Dr. Llewllyn Francis:
No. Fever - headache - death. Now that's a symptom you don't want to ignore.

[first lines]

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
I thought we were supposed to bring our wives.

Margaret Brackenreid:
Well, I certainly didn't want to come. I hear they eat duck's feet, and eyeballs.

Constable George Crabtree:
Mrs. Brackenreid, I've actually eaten Chinese food *twice*. It's very good.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
I thought we were supposed to bring our wives.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Where's the knives and forks?

Constable George Crabtree:
Oh, sir, I believe we're supposed to use these: chopsticks.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Chopsticks? What can you chop with these?

[last lines]

Detective William Murdoch:
Are you all right?

Dr. Julia Ogden:
I've never been better. We're free, William. We're finally free.

Detective William Murdoch:
Yes, we are.

Detective William Murdoch:
[Reluctant to take a case in which his father is the prime suspect] Sir, I simply doubt I can remain objective.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[Unmoved] Then be professional!

Dr. Julia Ogden:
William, you seem single-minded about your father's guilt.

Detective William Murdoch:
[Densively] I'm no such thing.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Well, in any other case you would, uh, thoroughly investigate all other possibilities before assuming a suspect's guilt. Surely your father deserves the same treatment.

Detective William Murdoch:
[Emphatically] My father deserves nothing!

Detective William Murdoch:
In my experience books don't kill peope, rabbi.

Rabbi Dinitz:
Her name is Devra Begelman, and what she said meant nothing. It - well, it did mean something - just not the something I think it means.

Detective William Murdoch:
I'm not sure I follow that.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
I'm not sure it can be followed.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[furious after Jerzy has ontemptuously spit on the floor in the interrogation room] Did you just gob on my floor!

[first lines]

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Ten o'clock and it's already ninety degrees.

James Bennett:
Nothing as cooling as a genuine Snow Ball straight from the streets of Baltimore. I recommend the egg custard.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Then that is what I shall have.

[last lines]

Dr. Julia Ogden:
You must be relieved, William.

Detective William Murdoch:
I have to admit, I'm somewhat disappointed. I was quite enjoying our little research product. [Julia chuckles] The thought of discovering a new species...

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Oh, William, you'll find your dinosaur yet; I'm sure of it. [she removes her stockings]

Detective William Murdoch:
Julia, there are people everywhere.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
How ridiculous it is that women should have to wear black woolen stockings in this heat!

Detective William Murdoch:
You are being very scandalous, young lady.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Yes, I am. Aren't I?

[she runs into the water, followed by Murdoch and they start roughhousing]

Dr. Julia Ogden:
My hair!

Detective William Murdoch:
[Looking at the recently unearthed mummified bodie] Cyanide is often used in suicides. Perhaps they killed themselves.

Detective William Murdoch:
How did they bury themselves, George?

Constable George Crabtree:
[Sheepishly] Point taken, sir.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
So, whoever built this shed did it to conceal the bodies.

Detective William Murdoch:
That would be the owner of the factory - a James Kirkham. I've asked George to find him and determine the nature of his business. I did ask him to be quick about it.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[Sarcastically] Oh, good, becaue wih a five year-old case, we wouldn't want the case to go cold, would we?

[first lines]

Clarence Eldridge:
I bagged this animal in darkest Africa.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Handsome beast. Ferocious, I'd wager.

Margaret Brackenreid:
Africa? I thought tigers were native to India.

Clarence Eldridge:
You could be right, my dear. Africa, India, it's terribly hard to tell them apart.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Look at Margaret. She looks like the cat who ate the canary.

Detective William Murdoch:
Well, it's not everyone who gets asked to be a member of the Empire Club.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Why would the Inspector want to associate with them?

Detective William Murdoch:
Perhaps it's to keep the canary eater happy.

Mark Twain:
Given my points of view, it's somewhat of a surprise that, uh, someone hasn't shot at me before.

Constable Henry Higgins:
You can have Hendrickson; he lives almost ten miles out of town

Constable George Crabtree:
Oh, I'm aware of that.

Constable Henry Higgins:
Then why would you volunteer?

Constable George Crabtree:
Because he lives right next to Mrs. Hempshire's Finishing School.

Constable Henry Higgins:
Mary Lawrence went there.

Constable George Crabtree:
Did she?

Constable Henry Higgins:
For a time. She left; she said the women there were of easy virtue.

Constable George Crabtree:
Oh, indeed? And if I recall correctly, today's laundry day. I remember once Jackson and I had to reprimand a couple of them for wandering around in their unmentionables.

Constable Henry Higgins:
Did you?

Constable George Crabtree:
Yes, and they were from France. The, the unmentionables, Parisian undergarments.

Constable Henry Higgins:
Well, allow me to save you the trip.

Constable George Crabtree:
Hmh?

Constable Henry Higgins:
I could use a brisk bicycle ride.

[Higgins leaves]

Mark Twain:
It's a shame... you don't have a fence that needs paintin'.

Constable George Crabtree:
That was last summer, sir.

[last lines]

Mark Twain:
Constable Crabtree, you strike me as a man with a nimble mind.

Constable George Crabtree:
Well, thank you, sir.

Mark Twain:
[holding book 'The Curse of the Pharoah'] This work of yours shows some, some promise.

Constable George Crabtree:
You read it?

Mark Twain:
I started it. Got any more in you?

Constable George Crabtree:
I don't know; I haven't much felt like writing lately.

Mark Twain:
Ohhh, spent some time in the penitentiary, lost a, a fianc?e.

Constable George Crabtree:
Indeed.

Mark Twain:
Take it from me, son, reality can be beaten with enough imagination. Go to it.

Constable George Crabtree:
Thank you, Mr. Twain.

Detective William Murdoch:
This doesn't seem calculated. This woman's clearly disturbed, sir.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Of course, she is. Nobody sticks an ax through Daddy's ribs unless they've got a few bats in the belfry.

Constable Henry Higgins:
[Entering the cellar] Anything in particular you're looking for, sir?

Detective William Murdoch:
I don't know, Henry, but something terrible happened here seventeen years ago... something terribe, I expect.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[to Murdoch about the chief suspect's multiple personalities] Look, I don't care if this is coming from Maddy, Charlotte, or the latest incarnation of Genhis Khan - just get the truth out of her!

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
I've got a new rhyme

Detective William Murdoch:
Oh?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Bobby Edwards took an ax and gave his stepather forty wacks . Bastard bloody deserved it.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[Brackenreid laughs] That doesn't rhym, sir.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
It's better that way,

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[Not wanting to wear the garish cowboy hat that Murdoch has won for him at the sharpshooting booth] I'd need about four scotches inside me before that came near my head, me old mucker.

Detective William Murdoch:
[to Buffalo Bill] Sir, the West is dead and gone. There's nothing left of it now but a carnival show.

Lightning Wilcox:
I didn't shoot Jaws.

Detective William Murdoch:
Well, someone did.

Lightning Wilcox:
Yeah, someone did, and whoever they are, I'll find 'em. I'll find 'em, and when I'm done, their boots'll be pointin' up toward their maker. Mark my words.

Buffalo Bill Cody:
[Realizing that Murdoch suspected he was lying about his poor eyesight] And you thought I was lyin'!

Detective William Murdoch:
With all due respect, Mr. Cody, you've built a whole show around lies.

Buffalo Bill Cody:
Well, people don't want the truth. No, sir, they want something else. They want a good story, and a good story told often enough... that can become the truth.

John Warton:
I'm not above turning a dead man in for $1000' I'm not above stealin' his gold teeth, but I didn't kill One Tooth - that's my word.

Detective William Murdoch:
Mr. Wilcox, how many men have you killed?

Lightning Wilcox:
Countin' Indians? Beats me. Somewhere between plenty and too many, I guess.

Annie Oakley:
[to Brackenreid] A friend of mine once gave me a piece of advice. He said, "Don't try to be good. Try not to be bad."

Inspector Marcel Guillaume:
[Interrupting Murdoch, who's been talking French] Let's do English, please. Allow me to massacre your language.

Inspector Marcel Guillaume:
[as Dr. Ogden enters the railroad car] Well, well, I am very impressed.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
That a woman can be a doctor?

Inspector Marcel Guillaume:
That a doctor can be so beautiful.

Detective William Murdoch:
[Referring to Dr. Ogden] She's engaged... to another man.

Inspector Marcel Guillaume:
Then it's a perfectt situation.

Detective William Murdoch:
How so?

Inspector Marcel Guillaume:
Well, she can be your mistress.

Detective William Murdoch:
My mistress?

Inspector Marcel Guillaume:
Monsieur Murdoch, the marriage is about family. You make babies with your wife, but you make love to your mistress.

[first lines]

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Excuse us. Police business.

[last lines]

Detective William Murdoch:
It would appear I have to thank you. Your penchant for not listening to me has once again...

Dr. Julia Ogden:
I'm just so glad you're safe, William.

Detective William Murdoch:
You saved my life, Julia.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Tit for tat, I suppose.

[they are about to kiss when Brackenreid enters]

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Dr. Ogden. You never cease to surprise me.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
However do you mean, Inspector?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Well, my best man was in dire straits, and you took it as an opportunity for a spot of canoodling.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
It's called mouth on mouth resuscitation, Inspector. A technique employed by Swiss doctors to resuscitate babies. I did it only to save William's life.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Of course you did, Dr. Ogden. Of course you did.

[first lines]

Priest:
Do you, William, take this woman to thy wedded wife, to love her, comfort her, to honour and keep her, in sickness and in health until death do ye part?

Detective William Murdoch:
I do.

Priest:
And do you, Julia Ogden, take this man to thy wedded husband, to obey him...

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Obey him?

Detective William Murdoch:
Uh, we're negotiating that.

[there is a pounding on the door]

Dr. Julia Ogden:
It's Darcy!

James Pendrick:
We have but one life, Murdoch. I have to be true to myself. Besides, we both know I was the first man to fly.

Detective William Murdoch:
Actually, Mr Pendrick, I believe I was.

James Pendrick:
[laughs] Touch?.

[last lines]

Dr. Julia Ogden:
William, I have to talk to you!

Detective William Murdoch:
Julia, what is it?

Dr. Julia Ogden:
I just met with Darcy. He's agreed to the annulment.

Detective William Murdoch:
We can be married?

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Yes! We can be married!

Constable George Crabtree:
[covering his shame] I've been swimming in the cold river.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Oh.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Mmurdoch, if this is just a matter of fisticuffs, don't you think that a manslaughter charge is a little harsh?

Detective William Murdoch:
Sir, a man is dead as a direct result of a violent assault. By definition, that is manslaughter.

Langston Wallace:
But we made lose some of our best players to the Americans.

Chief Constable Giles:
Ooh, it's our game! The Yanks will never embrace it. Besides, if you pay a man to play a game, who will work in the factories?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
There is no greater stain on the face of hockey than the specter of professionalism.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Greater than cold-blooded murder?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
It's just a game.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
You're not much interested in sports, are you, Murdoch? If you were, you would know there's no such thing as "just a game!"

[first lines]

Constable George Crabtree:
And you say there's nothing wrong with it at all?

Mrs. Haan:
Uh, how should I know? I've never driven the thing.

Constable Henry Higgins:
It's a fine automobile, George. And the price... [chuckles]

Constable George Crabtree:
What do you think, Jackson?

Constable Slugger Jackson:
You know what I think; I already gave you my share, George.

Constable Henry Higgins:
We could own a motorcar, George, and for only fifty dollars.

Constable George Crabtree:
The price does actually seem rather low, Ma'am.

Mrs. Haan:
Well, you can pay more if you like; makes no difference to me.

Constable George Crabtree:
Are these yours?

Constable Henry Higgins:
George, why would a woman need driving gloves? [chuckles]

Mrs. Haan:
I don't know whose those are, but you can have them if you take the automobile. Do we have a deal?

[George sighs, ponders, then takes the For Sale sign off the car]

Dr. Emily Grace:
I myself am fascinated by motorcars. I hope to own one some day.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[laughing] Bloody hell. First you want the vote, and now you want to drive. Women want all the privileges of being a man without any of the pain.

Dr. Emily Grace:
Inspector.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Besides, a woman driving an automobile! I think they're dangerous enough already, thank you very much.

Dr. Emily Grace:
Automobiles or women?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
My gut tells me that she didn't do it.

Dr. Emily Grace:
Your gut... is that similar to women's intuition?

Frank Rivers:
I love that Canada. McGuire's, am I right?

Detective William Murdoch:
About what?

Dr. Julia Ogden:
McGuire's *beer*, William. Brewed in Toronto.

Frank Rivers:
Damn right! Stronger beer for stronger people.

[last lines]

Constable George Crabtree:
I fear our outing has ended rather quickly now.

Edna Brooks:
Well, why don't we take a walk down to the arcade?

Constable George Crabtree:
i thought you wanted to go for a drive.

Edna Brooks:
I did, but I could fancy a stroll.

Constable George Crabtree:
Is this a date, Edna Brooks?

Edna Brooks:
I suppose it is, George Crabtree.

Constable George Crabtree:
Well, good.

Dr. Emily Grace:
Judging from the body's position it's hard to tell whether the driver or pedestrian was at fault.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Course it was the driver's fault. These bloody devil-wagons think they own the roads. They're as bad as cyclists.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
So our killer knocked Hahn on the head and left him with the engine running in an automobile stable.

Dr. Emily Grace:
I believe they call them garages.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Garage? What kind of word is that?

Dr. Emily Grace:
French.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Ooh, slimy Frenchies. They're even naming our barns now. They're bloody stables for bloody automobiles.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
[upon seeing her fractured hand mirror] William? What on earth are you doing?

Detective William Murdoch:
Julia! [springs to his feet, startled] I have created an elongated circumscope. Now, instead of merely peering around a corner and remaining unseen, this will allow us to see what's going on in the room a full story above us.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
I see! [still confounded] Where did you get those tubes?

Detective William Murdoch:
Oh... ah, um... [holds up his index finger in warning] Don't use the water closet. Now if you could help me by opening up this window...

[first lines]

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
The secret is to make the bait look like dinner. That's why we use live ones.

John Brackenreid:
Does that hurt 'em?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
It's a *worm*! You want to make it land with a plop. The plop grabs their attention; they think supper's landed.

John Brackenreid:
Why would a worm just go plop inthe middle of the river?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Does it matter?

Bobby Brackenreid:
This is boring.

[the inspector sighs]

John Brackenreid:
Worms live in the ground.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Who cares?

Bobby Brackenreid:
I-I got a bite.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Pull. Reel it in.

John Brackenreid:
It's a big one,

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
It's not boring now, is it?

Bobby Brackenreid:
It's really big!

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
I think it's snagged on something.

[they reel in a body]

Lillian Moss:
[about Murdoch] Is that the man Dr. Ogden surrendered her political aspirations for?

Dr. Emily Grace:
He is.

Dr. Emily Grace:
Bit of a stick-in-the-mud.

Constable George Crabtree:
[seeing the temple for the first time] Sir, it really does look like the Taj Mahal, doesn't it?

Detective William Murdoch:
Actually, George, it-it's more like the Hagia Sophia.

Constable George Crabtree:
Ah, yes, the church built by Emperor Justinian in the sixth century. The greatest in all of Christendom for over a thousand years. [Murdoch stares at him] Sir, I've been researching early Christianity for my new novel.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
The Holy Grail? In Markham? Ontario?

Detective William Murdoch:
We're positing a theory, sir.

Dr. Iris Bajjali:
A very =compelling theory.

Detective William Murdoch:
I'm not entirely convinced myself, but...

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Good! because it's bloody crackers. That's what King Arthur and his knights were after, isn't it?

Detective William Murdoch:
According to legend, yes.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Then what's it doing in bloody Markham?

Dr. Iris Bajjali:
What was it doing in bloody England?

[last lines]

Wilton Webb:
Oh, my God! My God.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[explainng opera] It's not about the story, Murdoch. Opera's about the expression of emotion - pure emotion expressed through virtruostic singing.

Detective William Murdoch:
I had no idea you had an ear for opera, sir.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Life holds greater riches than a job with the Toronto Constabulary There are a lot of things you don't know about me, Murdoch.

Detective William Murdoch:
Clearly.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[to Murdoch about Rosa Hamilton] She's truly magnificent. We'll not hear anything like her for a long time.

[first lines]

Preston Monk:
Good morning, ladies. I trust you are prepared for another day serving at Eaton and Company, Canada's greatest store. Now remember, you are ladies serving ladies. Which means, Miss Richardson, no loafing behind the counter, no engaging in idle chatter. Isn't that right?

Helen Richardson:
Yes, Mister Monk.

Preston Monk:
Miss Richardson, the ladies of Rosedale do not want to be served by a cow chewing her cud.

[he holds out a hankerchief, and she spits out a wad of gum]

Preston Monk:
And as for the rest of you, I implore you to refrain from using common familiarities. Our esteemed customers to not wish to be referred to as 'Dearie', and please, no 'heaven help me' looks exchanged while serving. What do I expect at all times?

Pearl Redmond:
Decorum, Mister Monk. We are Mister Timothy's ambassadors.

Preston Monk:
Day-cor-um. Thank you, Miss Redmond. Miss Sykes. Your services will no longer be required.

Florence Sykes:
Sir, I can't afford not to work; why are you firing me?

Preston Monk:
You know perfectly well. I don't make the rules; I merely follow them. Collect your wages on your way out.

Florence Sykes:
Pompous prig.

[to Helen]

Florence Sykes:
What are you staring at?

Helen Richardson:
Flo, I'm very sorry...

Florence Sykes:
Save your sympathies, Helen. Monk'll get his one of these days.

[last lines]

Gentleman:
[picking up handkerchief] Excuse me, miss. You dropped this.

Eva Pearce:
Oh, thank you. [dabbing eyes] Oh, oh.

Gentleman:
Is everything all right?

Eva Pearce:
Yes... No... My sweetheart left me.

Gentleman:
I would say that man's a fool.

Eva Pearce:
You're too kind, sir.

Gentleman:
May I interest you in a cup of tea?

Eva Pearce:
Yes. That would be lovely.

[first lines]

Verna Bowden:
[to the maid] Thank you.

Dean Bowden:
[to the maid] Thank you.

[long pause]

Verna Bowden:
Is something wrong?

Dean Bowden:
Nothing new, I'm afraid.

Verna Bowden:
Must we have this discussion each and every week?

Dean Bowden:
[sighs] At thirty years of age your time to discuss is nearly run out.

Verna Bowden:
Thank you, Dean. You certainly know how to charm a lady. I'm sorry you're so discontented.

Dean Bowden:
Wanting to try for a son is hardly a crime.

Verna Bowden:
[seeing Veronica, who has just entered the room] Let's get you into bed. Come, turn around, let's go.

Talking Doll:
Hello, Detective Murdoch. Will you play with me?

[last lines]

Constable George Crabtree:
[about the killer's fate] So, he's alive?

Detective William Murdoch:
I think it's safe to assume that he's... I don't know.

Detective William Murdoch:
How is it you know who I am?

Marley Rosevear:
Doesn't everyone know who you are... sir?

Constable Henry Higgins:
[looking through the fingerprint book] I hate fingermark duty.

Constable George Crabtree:
Detective work isn't always about investigating, Henry. Smetimes it involves mind-numbing tedium.

Detective William Murdoch:
It would appear we have our primme suspect in this murder case... me!

Miner 1:
What do you think, Mister? What do you think is worse... endles day or never- ending night?

Detective William Murdoch:
It would depend on your state of mind, I suppose. The day - light can consume your thoughts. The night - the thoughts can consume you.

Detective William Murdoch:
Circumstance and speculation will never trump fact.

Detective William Murdoch:
It's our mistakes that define us.

[first lines]

Detective William Murdoch:
Doctor?

Dr. Emily Grace:
Given the position of the body, drowning appears most likely. Of course I will have to complete my examination for certainty.

Detective William Murdoch:
And what have you, George? [Crabtree just gazes at Emily] George?

Constable George Crabtree:
Sir, uh, this was lying next to the unfortunate lady's body. [hands Murdoch a piece of paper]

Detective William Murdoch:
[reads] Mrs. Harriet Fuller, three-oh-one A River Street.

Constable George Crabtree:
River Street is just beyond that ridge of trees.

Detective William Murdoch:
Right. We'll leave you to it, doctor.

Constable George Crabtree:
Sir, I discovered where Jeremiah Fuller's been. He's been dead!

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Quite a view. You can see the whole neighbourhood.

Rosina Denman:
Everyone can see everyone. Poor folks' penny opera.

Constable George Crabtree:
I took the liberty of looking into Mr. Johnson's past. At the risk of repeating myself, he was dead.

[last lines]

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Well, thank goodness that horrid Doctor Bates won't be able to harm any more people.

Detective William Murdoch:
Oh, Julia, Doctor Bates has not been found; he's still out there.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
[to Brackenreid concerning his unusual behavior] Inspector, are you sure you're all right? If not, my morgue is always open.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
...you're going to need someone to administer the injection.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Oh, no, no, no! It'll be a cold day in Hell before any woman other than my wife comes anywhere near my backside,love!

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Well, if not me, you'll be needing much longer arms.

Beth Tipton:
These messages are so personal it's like snooping through her diary.

[first lines]

Dr. Julia Ogden:
I think that's enough for today.

Sarah Bosen:
Good; now please get that thing away from me!

Harry Phelps:
It's nothing but a spider. I still don't understand how anyone can be frightened of a spider.

Pauline Kerr:
How about a horse? Who could be frightened of such a beautiful creature?

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Mrs. Kerr, please. And Mr. Phelps, that's enough. Sarah, you tolerated much better today; well done.

[first lines]

Prisoner:
[pushes Crabtree] Copper, one of these days when their backs are turnied, uh? [mimes slitting throat]

Chief Constable Giles:
You're not a policeman any more, so stop behaving like one.

Constable George Crabtree:
That man who was killed: he's somehow connected to a woman by the name of Edna Brooks.

Chief Constable Giles:
Yes, I know who she is.

Constable George Crabtree:
You do?

Chief Constable Giles:
She's the reason you're in here, is she not? She killed her husband and you took responsibility for it.

Constable George Crabtree:
What makes you think *I* didn't kill him?

Chief Constable Giles:
If you'd been guilty you would have pled guilty. If you were both innocent, you would have pled not guilty. Instead you pled nolo contendere, no contest; the only plea that would close the case without forcing you to confess to a crime you didn't commit. You're either the most noble man I've ever met, or the stupidest. I can't quite decide which. Good luck to you.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
[looking at two sets of photos of a room] Spot the difference. What fun! You could make a game out of this.

Chief Constable Giles:
[explaining what is common to all prisoners] Stupidity, Crabtree, thought-stunting, bat blind stupidity is the sine qua non of incarceration.

Constable George Crabtree:
Wouldn't that include us?

Chief Constable Giles:
Indeed! But stupidity is relative; some have it in abundance, and others have comparatively little. As members of the latter category we have an advantage, and I suggest we use it.

[last lines]

Constable George Crabtree:
When do you leave? Dr. Ogden told me you were going to England.

Dr. Emily Grace:
Two weeks and a day.

Constable George Crabtree:
You're counting down. That's a good sign; means you want to go.

Dr. Emily Grace:
I do.

Constable George Crabtree:
Well... to new beginnings, then.

Dr. Emily Grace:
New beginnings.

[first lines]

Lionel Jeffries:
So, what does Mr. Dawkins want to talk about?

Arthur Blake:
I don't know. Wouldn't say a word to me.

Brenda Blake:
he has been acting oddly at ;eave.

Lionel Jeffries:
That's because he's an odd duck. [Dawkins enters] So, what's on your mind, Richard.

Richard Dawkins:
Not everyone's here yet.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Did Murdoch send you here?

Dr. Julia Ogden:
He's concerned about you.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
He just wants me back on the force.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Well, if that's where you're meant to be, of course he does.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
I thank you both for your concern, but I'm quite content with my lot.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Content or frightened?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
It's not the same world out there. There's no respect for the law any more. So I don't care to be a part of it.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
You didn't answer the question.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
I'm neither. I'm just accepting of the way it is.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
So the men who attacked you win. [long pause] So long as you're content.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
So when are you marrying him?

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Soon.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Good. You know what's a shame? If he wasn't a bloody papist, they would have given him *my* job.

Mick O'Shea:
[to a semi-conscious Murdoch] You should have listened. *We* own the waterfront.

[last lines]

Detective William Murdoch:
Sir, get them.

Constable George Crabtree:
Inspector!

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Crabtree! Come see to Murdoch.

Constable George Crabtree:
Where are you going?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
To end this.

Constable George Crabtree:
Sir!

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
The O'Sheas are mine.

Judge:
[Miss Martin is applying to represent the women] You are a lawyer, aren't you, Miss Martin? You're not having one over on me?

Clara Brett Martin:
No, your honour. I'm the first female lawyer in all of the British Empire.

Judge:
Wow. This could be quite something for you, Atkinson. I will permit it.

Crown Attorney Atkinson:
I... object to this, sir.

Judge:
Don't be such a poor sport.

Constable George Crabtree:
Dr. Ogden, is there anything else I can get for you in the meantime?

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Pillow?

Constable George Crabtree:
Now, Doctor, you're being highly unreasonable. [Julia chuckles] I'll see what I can do.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
We're not solving this by following the rules. Whoever the O'Sheas were working for, they tried to have me killed; threatened my family.

Detective William Murdoch:
Sir.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
There're two laws now. The law that I once upheld and the law of the jungle. I know which one I choose.

Detective William Murdoch:
If you do anything rash, I *will* have to arrest you.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Course you will, Detective.

Clara Brett Martin:
It took a year for the Law Society to decide that the word 'person' could apply equally to men and women. But if finally did, and I was able to pursue law.

[last lines]

Detective William Murdoch:
It's good to have you back, Inspector.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Thank you, Murdoch. Crabtree!

Constable George Crabtree:
Put the bloody kettle on?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Exactly.

[first lines]

Professor Aldous Lawrence:
There was a time in China when smoking opium was a sign of wealth Only wealth did it because it was illegal and only the wealthy could escape prosecution, but also because wealth allowed for a certain leisure that the smoking of opium desires, and it was these prosperous patrons who understood opium's value to artists, philosophers, and allowing this golden age of...

Ling Lawrence:
[Byron starts coughing] Only a little.

Byron Sutton:
Apologies, Emperor.

Professor Aldous Lawrence:
Enough history; we are here to enjoy the present. So, let up retire to the den

Constable George Crabtree:
This is the Earth and Dragon Society.

Detective William Murdoch:
And its purpose?

Constable George Crabtree:
[reading his notes] "To further further appreciate the mysteries of China," apparently.

Detective William Murdoch:
In other words, to smoke opium.

[last lines]

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Despite the darker side of opium, I'll admit I enjoyed our little experiment.

Detective William Murdoch:
Yes, not one that I would care to repeat.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
No? Not even the sensations invoked?

Detective William Murdoch:
I prefer not to alter my reality.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
And why is that?

Detective William Murdoch:
Because nothing could make my reality any better than it already is.

[last lines]

[Murdoch flips a switch on the wireless]

Nikola Tesla:
Detective Murdoch, you are the first to receive a wireless transmission from New York.

Detective William Murdoch:
I came to thank you in person-

Nikola Tesla:
Do not attempt to transmit in return. The power of this unit is far too weak. While I do think this is a splendid invention, I have other ideas of much greater importance that must be explored. We are men of the future, Detective Murdoch, and what a future it shall be.

Detective William Murdoch:
Yes. What a future it shall be.

Constable George Crabtree:
[Arriving at Edna's house with flowers but getting a negative response] Miss, I'm well aware that the ship between us has sailed.

Nikola Tesla:
[to Murdoch] Alternating current doesn't need to bribe its way into the future. Logic and history compel it to.

[first lines]

Constable George Crabtree:
Police! Stop!

Constable George Crabtree:
I'm terribly sorry, sir; he got away.

Detective William Murdoch:
Are you all right?

Constable George Crabtree:
[rubbing his head] He got me in my least vulnerable part, sir.

[last lines]

Detective William Murdoch:
When did the reverend decide to rent out the rectory to your aunts, George?

Constable George Crabtree:
Shortly after we moved here, I believe, sir. It was a tough life for a dock girl back then; they suffered for their trade. So the reverend and my aunts made a deal: they could stay in the rectory as long as they ran a respectable business.

Detective William Murdoch:
Respectable?

Constable George Crabtree:
Yes, sir. All the customers had to wear a tie; no exceptions. And my aunts had to save their money, look out for one another, and they had to go to church every Sunday.

Detective William Murdoch:
And all of your aunts are named after flowers.

Constable George Crabtree:
Sir, that was my aunt Daisy's idea. They called themselves the Flower Girls of Flower Hill. Sometimes a gentleman caller would bring the flower of the girl he was calling.

Detective William Murdoch:
The reverend was a very wise man.

Constable George Crabtree:
Yes, indeed he was, sir.

[George's aunts obviously run a brothel]

Detective William Murdoch:
George, what kind of place is this?

Constable George Crabtree:
It's a rectory, sir. The reverend wasn't using it, so he rented it to my aunts for the business.

Detective William Murdoch:
What kind of business?

Constable George Crabtree:
Sir, if you don't know, I'm not sure I should say.

Detective William Murdoch:
I might have guessed, George.

Constable George Crabtree:
Ah, that's good sir; it would have made for an awkward explanation.

Detective William Murdoch:
George, was the reverend aware of all of this?

Constable George Crabtree:
Oh, yes, sir. It was his idea.

David Kingsley:
She went into hiding. In plain sight, as it happens. At the tearoom. I should have seen through her disguise on our first visit.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Distracted by the pretty nannies, perhaps.

David Kingsley:
Perhaps.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
There's hope for you yet, Mr. Holmes.

David Kingsley:
[about Ben] Such an annoying child. I have taken quite a shine to him.

[last lines]

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Mr. Holmes, should you like to talk at any time, my office is always open.

Sherlock Holmes:
No, thank you, doctor. I'm quite partial to the hat. Until next time. [Kingsley leaves]

Dr. Julia Ogden:
He is a remarkably good detective.

Detective William Murdoch:
Remarkably good?

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Well, [chuckles] *almost* as good as the *great* Detective Murdoch.

Detective William Murdoch:
Dr. Ogden, shall I escort you home?

Dr. Julia Ogden:
It would be my pleasure.

[first lines]

David Kingsley:
I said stand back, sir.

Herbert Greaves:
Well, who the devil do you think you... You have no right to touch the... [to Murdoch] You are?

Detective William Murdoch:
Detective Murdoch, Toronto Constabulary. [Greaves sighs in relief] You telephoned?

Herbert Greaves:
Thank God you're here. Herbert Greaves; I-I, I manage this place. I tried my damnest to stop this man from touching the body, but he insists on...

David Kingsley:
We meet again, detective.

Herbert Greaves:
You know this... person?

Detective William Murdoch:
Our path have crossed. Good day, Mr. Holmes.

Herbert Greaves:
Oh, my commiserations, sir. He's a rude, interfering, altogether...

David Kingsley:
The hotel guest you see before you is Mr. Wallace Burns, now very much deceased.

Detective William Murdoch:
[to Brackenreid] Sir, if e don't keep our wits about us, mistakes will be made.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[unconditionall offering $10,000 toward the ransom] Mr. Stanton, you're a gentleman, sir.

Henry Stanton:
[modestly] If you insist sir.

Constable George Crabtree:
[as Murdoch enters the station house] Ah, sir, Dr. Ogden is waiting for you in your office.

Constable George Crabtree:
[Hinting of his knowledge of their workplace romance as the other constables smirk to murdoch's embarrassment] I'll let the men know that you are not to be disturbed.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Sir, the sitauation with Tash is complicated.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Yes, he did us a good turn in the past, but Lillie Dunn deserves justice, so why don't you go and do what you do best, me old mucker? Step on some toes and upset people.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[Referring to Dr. Fitch] Of course the slimy little sod can't be trusted, but we still act on a bit of information when in corroboration with a bit we got before.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[Speaking of Lillie dying from a hemorragic poison] It's just a horrible death.

Sally Smoot:
I've seen a lot of women die horrible deaths. It just seems to come with the territory.

Dr. Isaac Tash:
[In a threatening manner] You're going to wish you had left this alone.

Detective William Murdoch:
[with certitude] I'll be the judge of that.

Detective William Murdoch:
[Looking at Lillie's diary] There doesn't seem to be a mention of a suitor or even gentlemen friends. However, she does mention a flea infestation.

Constable George Crabtree:
Well, that would exxplain the insect repellent... Sir, in my personal experience a boring diary was an excellet way to keep a nosy mother in the dark...

Detective William Murdoch:
...while keeping your true secrets hidden elsewhere.

[first lines]

Jeanette Rajotte:
How could you do that? To me! To everyone who believes in you! There are no secrets from God. he knows everything. He sees everything. Everything!

Father Lebel:
Jeanette.

Jeanette Rajotte:
Read it for yourself. "Even also as I am known." There it is. Dans la Bible. Look!

Father Lebel:
Jeanette, calme-toi.

Jeanette Rajotte:
You have to tell the truth. If you will not tell, then I will.

Father Lebel:
Attends.

Jeanette Rajotte:
I must tell the truth.

Father Lebel:
Jeanette.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
That factory bread can't hold a candle to Margaret's home-baked.

Constable George Crabtree:
Well, perhaps, sir, but it's awfully convenient for people who are too busy to toil at the oven.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Too lazy, you mean. Next thing you know they'll be slicing it up for you.

Constable George Crabtree:
Sir! That's a fantastic idea! I've never got the hang of slicing a piece of bread, sir. [holds up a wedge-shaped slice] Look, it always comes out like that. A-a-and the end piece, that's a recipe for self-injury. Sliced bread would be the greatest thing since... since...

Detective William Murdoch:
A noble motive makes her no less a murderer.

Father Keegan:
I was hoping you wouldn't remember I said that.

Detective William Murdoch:
I remember every word you've ever said to me. They're the words I recall whenever I have a difficult decision to make.

Father Keegan:
I'm just a man, William. And I'm as fallible as the next.

Father Keegan:
You know, Will, when I was younger I thought the pursuit of truth was absolute; I've since learned that the world isn't so simple,

Professor Otranto:
[Murdoch enters a dance studio. Looking around he sees a few couples dancing, stiffly, with one another. Off screen he hears... ] You must be Mr. Murdoch.

Inspector William Murdoch:
[Murdoch spins to see Professor Otranto approaching] That's correct.

Professor Otranto:
Then welcome. I am Professor Otranto and I will make you a dancer.

Inspector William Murdoch:
Uh, well, good.

Professor Otranto:
That is what you want, is it not?

Inspector William Murdoch:
I simply was hoping to improve my technique.

Professor Otranto:
Very well. But, first, we must evaluate your abilities. Catarina?

[Otranto beckons Catarina, a nearby young woman, to join them]

Inspector William Murdoch:
Evaluate?

[Catarina steps in front of Murdoch]

Professor Otranto:
Assume the position, sir.

Inspector William Murdoch:
Uh, which position would that be?

Professor Otranto:
Catarina...

[Catarina quickly moves next to Murdoch and places his hands on her hip]

Professor Otranto:
Now, dance.

[Murdoch awkwardly leads Catarina onto the floor. Otranto continues, to himself, before following Murdoch onto the floor]

Professor Otranto:
There is much work to be done here.

Inspector William Murdoch:
I wish I ould better undrstand the mind that did this.

Inspector Edward Scanlon:
Yeah, I've had my fill of war. Went to the Yard after I got back. Weren't much better there.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
No?

Inspector Edward Scanlon:
Whitechapel, the Ripper, it made me sick to my stomach.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
It was quite a grusome sight.

Inspector Edward Scanlon:
No, I seen the poverty, the dirt, the brutality. What sort of world is it where children go hungry and are beaten whilst we build an empire?

Ned Watts:
Razor intends on finishing me tonight, and anyone who stands in his way, I imagine.

Constable George Crabtree:
Well, he would have to make it through two highly trained officers of the law to do that.

Ned Watts:
[derisively to Crabtree and Brackenreid] You two? Roly and Poly? Know why they call him "The Razor?" Not for the means which he dispatches his victims, but because he's in possession of an extremely sharp mind. Doubt you two are a natch.

Detective William Murdoch:
Are you quite all right, Doctor?

Dr. Emily Grace:
I was sitting at a table with my friends playing cards, and one of them died in front of me. Of course, I'm all right.

Detective William Murdoch:
Well, it would appear that Mr. Oliver has been granted a one way ticket to the great beyond. How come you willingly subject yourself to such a risk?

Magnus MacDonald:
Explorers are risk-takers, Detective. They travel to the ends of the Earth. We are trying to do more than that. We are trying to find Heaven.

Magnus MacDonald:
[commenting on the death of Oliver] A poor end to what was supposed to be a splendid evening.

[first lines]

Boy #1:
One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen. Eighteen. Nineteen. Twenty. Ready or not, here I come!

Constable George Crabtree:
Oh, sir! You have to try one of these. I've had four already this morning; it's the damnedest stuff.

Inspector William Murdoch:
What is it?

Constable George Crabtree:
Coffee! I've only ever heard of it. Big in Europe, apparently.

Inspector William Murdoch:
[Murdoch tastes it and grimaces] Terribly bitter.

Constable George Crabtree:
I thought so too at first, but it grows on you.

Inspector William Murdoch:
Why on earth would they serve this when we have tea? I don't see *this* catching on.

Constable George Crabtree:
Oh, I wouldn't be so sure, sir.

[last lines]

Julia Ogden:
William?

Inspector William Murdoch:
Yes, Doctor?

Julia Ogden:
Do you like coffee?

Inspector William Murdoch:
Yes. Yes, I do.

Julia Ogden:
Because the club makes the most delicious brew.

Inspector William Murdoch:
Do they, now?

Julia Ogden:
Imported from Turkey, in fact.

Inspector William Murdoch:
That would be wonderful.

Inspector William Murdoch:
Did his teammates ever quarrel with him?

Coach Kane:
As I said earlier, Detective, these boys are like family.

Inspector William Murdoch:
In my experience conflict can arise in even the closest of families.

Coach Kane:
Not this one.

Inspector William Murdoch:
When people lie, their body also undergoes stress.

Constable Henry Higgins:
So, if we use your new mograph thingy thingy...

Inspector William Murdoch:
Then we can scientifically measure whether a man is lying.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[Sarcastically] I've got one of those at home. It's called a wife.

Constable Henry Higgins:
[approaching a nondescript solitary building] Are you sure this is the address Mr. Wilson gave the inspector?

Constable George Crabtree:
I don't know, Henry. All I know is this is the address the inspector gave me.

Constable Henry Higgins:
This doesn't seem right to me. Shouldn't we be investigating some sort of medical facility.

Constable George Crabtree:
Who knows what goes on behind closed doors? Who knows?

Detective William Murdoch:
[as Julia insists on remaining in the cell] You're being stubborn.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
I'd like to think I'm determined.

Detective William Murdoch:
[as they stand at the bar in a sleazy saloon] You know, you're the only woman in this bar who isn't engaged in the entertainment of men.

Anna Fulford:
[flirtatiously] Am I not entertaining?

Detective William Murdoch:
I have a curious mind - always have.

Anna Fulford:
Well, that's a very attractive quality. Most men have curious hands and little else.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Fancy a drink?

Constable Slugger Jackson:
I wouldn't say no.

Constable Slugger Jackson:
[Brackenreid pours a healthy glass and is surprised when Jackson downs it all] Thank you, sir. That's a fine drop of scotch, Inspector.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
It goes down easy.

Constable Slugger Jackson:
Like a whore's drawers.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[chuckling] We watch the salty language here at Station Four, slugger.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
[on her latest pregnancy] Unfortunately breastfeeding is not a proper form of contraception.

Elsie Blackwood:
Tell that to my husband.

Detective William Murdoch:
Mr. Carlin, what were you looking for at the Devil's Den?

Leonard Carling:
The unpredictable, Detective.

[first lines]

Hamish McTavish:
Operator, get me the police. I need a constable at 590 Jarvis Street. Hurry! [someone enters] No! No!

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Would you like to finish it or shall we go home?

Detective William Murdoch:
Um. Home. [he answers the phone] Detective Murdoch.

Detective William Murdoch:
Yes, George.

Detective William Murdoch:
Yes, I'll be right there. [he hangs up]

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Well, almost home.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Governor-General Young Scholar. That gathered a few sn*ggers in the schoolyard I would imagine.

Winifred 'Freddy' Pink:
Intelligence is nothing to be ashamed of, Inspector.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Not at all, Miss Pink, as long as it's not announced with a clarion call.

Winifred 'Freddy' Pink:
Point taken.

Detective William Murdoch:
Montreal is one thing, but I don't know that you'd find the same abundance of work in Toronto the Good.

[last lines]

Dr. Julia Ogden:
What is it?

Detective William Murdoch:
It's our home, that I'm going to build for you.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
William. It's extraordinary.

Detective William Murdoch:
Wait. There's more. [removes the model's roof]

Dr. Julia Ogden:
More?

Detective William Murdoch:
There's the parlor, the conservatory, piano room, bedrooms here and here. ANd a dish-washing cupboard.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Dish-washing cupboard!

Detective William Murdoch:
Oh, yes, fully automated; no need for servants.Uh, I'm still sorting the details. But this, a laboratory-workshop. Laboratory for you, workshop for me.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
To share?

Detective William Murdoch:
Yes. So we may always benefit from each other's counsel.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
William Murdoch, it couldn't be more perfect.

Detective William Murdoch:
Really?

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Yes.

Constable George Crabtree:
Sir, I think this case has all the makings of a ripping detective tale: a dismembered body encased in concrete, a foul-smelling river to represent society's rapid decay, birdwatchers...

Detective William Murdoch:
[Somewhat peeved] What on eath are you doing, George?

Detective Malcolm Lamb:
[In the pub] You're an intinuitive bugger, aren't you?

Detective William Murdoch:
I do hope so.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[Annoyed that Murdoch has dosobeyed orders] Do you have any impression that you've gone slight;y crackers?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[Frustrated] Every time we put two pieces of the jigsaw together, we get a third that won't fit!

[first lines]

Farmer's Wife:
Elmer! Stop! I don't want you getting too close.

Farmer:
What's gonna happen?

Farmer's Wife:
I don't know. It just fills me with dread. Can you see what it is?

Farmer:
Looks like Henri, from down in the valley.

Detective William Murdoch:
And the time of death?

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Between two and four last night.

Detective William Murdoch:
That's consistent with what I thought.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Does that trouble you?

Detective William Murdoch:
That means he climbed into the tree before the field was plowed, waited all day and most of the night, before hanging himself, and, in my experience, suicidal individuals, if given enough time, will likely change their minds.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
What's my motto, Murdoch?

Detective William Murdoch:
You have several, sir... all gems.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
No, no, no, those are aphorisms. I only have one motto, and that's 'follow the money.'

Constable George Crabtree:
I wouldn't have pegged you for a circusgoer, sir.

Detective William Murdoch:
I was a boy once too, George.

Detective William Murdoch:
[Examining the plaster cast of the supposed Nartian's foot] Scales?

Constable George Crabtree:
Yes, it's my belief that the Martians are covered in scales, so, while they might be smarter than us, I have a feeling they may be a good deal uglier.

Anna Fulford:
[to Murdoch] A few months after you and I had our adventure in Bristol, I finally plucked up the courage to sail to New York. Joe was the best thing about that place. It's loud and filthy, and the people are horrible.

Constable George Crabtree:
[Coming in out of the rain] Rotten old night out there. The rain's got the sewers backed up. There are rats as big as pumpkins roaming the streets.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Bloody Hell! Maybe there really is a ghost.

Detective William Murdoch:
Sir, you really don't believe that, do you/

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
I grew up near the Yorkshire Moors. There's more ghosts than sheep.

Ronald Beaton:
I had assumed Chauncy killed himelf.

Detective William Murdoch:
Why assume that?

Ronald Beaton:
Suidide runs in the family.

Detective William Murdoch:
[Referring to Rowena] Sir, you're not going to let her leave?

Detective William Murdoch:
She's not leaving us, George. She's leading us.

[first lines]

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Come on. Looking forward to spending the night in the cells, O'Shea?

Mick O'Shea:
You're messing where it don't concern you, Brackenreid. *We* own the docks.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
And *I* own the city! Don't ever forget that.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Mr. Newsome, you're under arrest. Cuff him and take him away, Crabtree.

Roger Newsome:
Wha-wha-what is this about? How dare you manhandle me like some cretin. I am a man of reason and intellect.

Constable George Crabtree:
Well, I promise I will manhandle you reasonably.

Lillian Moss:
Corsets are wretched creations. I don't wear one myself.

Dr. Emily Grace:
Oh. I couldn't imagine not wearing a corset; I would feel so...

Lillian Moss:
Free?

Dr. Emily Grace:
Exposed. And improper; I work with men.

Constable George Crabtree:
Lying and stealing, sir, that's not normal for a boy his age.

Detective William Murdoch:
George, lying and stealing is *exactly* normal for a boy his age.

[last lines]

Lillian Moss:
You must understand, Emily. My suffragette sisters are all I have.

Dr. Emily Grace:
I do understand. It's just... sometimes the way you behave... you frighten me.

Lillian Moss:
I frighten you?

Dr. Emily Grace:
You will do anything for the cause.

Lillian Moss:
Not just for the cause.

Dr. Emily Grace:
I, I doubt I have your passion.

Lillian Moss:
You do! You lead by example.

Dr. Emily Grace:
It doesn't feel like enough.

Lillian Moss:
Then do more. Lead by action instead.

Dr. Emily Grace:
I want to go corset-free.

Lillian Moss:
Now, *that* I can help you with.

[first lines]

Lillian Moss:
Abolish the tyranny of corsetry.

[first lines]

Dr. Emily Grace:
[entering theater] This should be good.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Better be. [picks up headphones] What the devil is this?

Detective William Murdoch:
Some sort of listening device?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Hmph.

Constable George Crabtree:
We all have them.

Detective William Murdoch:
Mr. Pendrick certainly seems intent on making a splash.

James Pendrick:
Ladies and gentlemen, prepare to be amazed!

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Bugger always was full of himself.

James Pendrick:
Moving pictures are this century's predominant form of entertainment; I'm willing to bet on it. For young and old.

Detective William Murdoch:
I highly doubt that.

Alphonse:
Murdoch can't be shot; it has to be Constable Tom.

James Pendrick:
Alphonse, I'm director, and what I say goes!

Alphonse:
But, if you do it like that, it doesn't make any sense. In the third act, Tom is the one who has to get shot.

James Pendrick:
The audience won't care about Tom; Murdoch is the star.

Alphonse:
But the ending won't make any sense at all.

James Pendrick:
It doesn't matter. There'll be a terrific chase scene.

Alphonse:
Idiot!

Thomas Edison:
Detective Murdoch, if I wanted to harm Pendrick, I would use weapons *far* more devastating than any gun. My attorneys.

James Pendrick:
I have a moving picture to finish. If I don't, I'll be ruined. Yet again.

Detective William Murdoch:
But if you continue you may be killed.

James Pendrick:
Then I'll die for my art.

Detective William Murdoch:
Mr. Pendrick, art is a sculpture, a-a painting, poetry. You're making a moving picture starring Constable George Crabtree.

Constable George Crabtree:
'The Filmed Adventures of Detective William Murdoch' hardly trips off the tongue, and it would make for a very long marquee.

Detective William Murdoch:
That's true.

James Pendrick:
What do you suggest?

Constable George Crabtree:
Just 'The Murdoch Mysteries'.

James Pendrick:
I like it.

Thomas Edison:
Mr. Pendrick, I and a group of others are considering going to California to launch the motion picture industry. You could be a part of it.

James Pendrick:
The motion picture industry will be here, in Toronto, Canada. I have no intention of going into business with a scoundrel such as you.

[last lines]

Detective William Murdoch:
I'm not entirely sure I can envy a future where everyone wastes their lives staring at a screen watching made-up stories.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
We're on the same side, Davis.

Inspector Davis:
Are we?

Detective William Murdoch:
You're involved in illegl gambling, Mr. Chen. Just how do you intend to resolve this?

Ling:
I am sure we can come to an arrangement. I knew when Mr. Cooper died, I would have to... renegotiate... What are your terms?

Detective William Murdoch:
My terms?

Ling:
Well, Cooper took 20%. I always thought that was a bit excessive, but then what choice do I have?

Detective William Murdoch:
You're lying. Cooper was a decorated officer.

Ling:
He also liked his bread with butter - just like we all do.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[Referring to the johns in the brothel] Do we know which of the city fathers were caught with their strides down?

Detective William Murdoch:
Strides?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Trou - uh, pants - pants.

Detective William Murdoch:
[Trying to find out which flammables were used in making the bomb] I'll have to send it to the university. I would do it myself, but I don't have a centrifuge.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[Defensively as he obviously doesn't know the meaning of the word] Oh, that's a shame!

[first lines]

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Damn it! [a nurse screams and runs in] What is it?

Nurse:
uh, Ward C... Nurse Collins...

Detective William Murdoch:
[entering Cedric Maxwell's place] From Rosedale to this.

Constable George Crabtree:
I suppose the lawyers were more dear than he imagined, sir.

Detective William Murdoch:
They always are.

[last lines]

Eva Pearce:
Sir! I've been robbed, sir. Attacked most brutally. Could you help me? Please.

Man:
Well, of course, madam. Of course.

[first lines]

Constable Henry Higgins:
Enough already!

Constable George Crabtree:
Let's have Bert Grady!

Constable Henry Higgins:
Yeah. Booooo!

Constable George Crabtree:
Oh, come on, Higgins.

Bert Grady:
[on stage] I sat down next to a guy at the tavern, a chatty type. He told me that his mother-in-law was an angel. I said, "Lucky you. Mine's still alive." Now, but that's not entirely true; I do have a soft spot for my mother-in-law. It's right behind this theater in fact. I missed her at first, so I reloaded and tried again. That did it. Now, you can't blame me. She told me she always wanted to go down under; I just didn't realize 'down under' meant Australia 'til it was too late. Now she's six feet under. Not that she cared for me much either, though. She said that she was going to dance on my grave. I said that I hope you do 'cause I plan to be buried at sea. Thank you all very much. Thank you.

Constable George Crabtree:
Thank you for the sandwich.

Edna Brooks:
I won't use butter next time. You're even fussier than Simon is.

Constable George Crabtree:
Well, butter has its place in many things, Edna, but a friend of the sandwich it is not.

[last lines]

Detective William Murdoch:
Oh Julia, come and join me; the tea is here.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Brilliant.

[he presents her with a bouquet of roses]

Dr. Julia Ogden:
William! How thoughtful.

Detective William Murdoch:
I promise never to stop courting you.

[guiding her to a seat]

Detective William Murdoch:
Please.

[she sits on the 'flatulence sack']

Detective William Murdoch:
[laughing] It worked so well.

[Julia beats him playfully with a cushion]

The Kissing Bandit:
[With flair, adressing the bank manager] You there... in the common suit and the cautious cravat, you must be the bank manager. To the vault, sir, and be quick about it. I do have appointments.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Any ideas?

Detective William Murdoch:
Well, sir, if he's so scrupu;lous in not leaving us any clue as to his identity, perhaps we can bring the clue to him.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Will yjat make any more sense if you say it a seoond time?

Ruby Ogden:
Why are men so dim-witted when it comes to love?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
So, if Paddy Glenn is the "Kissing Bandit," who's the "Killing" Bandit?

Constable George Crabtree:
You still haven't told me why you thnk Mrs. Robinson is innocent.

Detective William Murdoch:
Newton's third law of motion, George.

Detective William Murdoch:
George, I need you to run out and purchase a dress.

Constable George Crabtree:
Oh, we've already got one for Mrs. Robinson.

Detective William Murdoch:
No, it's - it's for me.

Constable George Crabtree:
[Sarcastically] Tired of the old jacket and trousers.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Bugger that, Murdoch! You think she's innocent based on nothing but your own intuition.

Detective William Murdoch:
But what use is that? Intuition isn't a reliable basis to form an opinion.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[In a loud voice] The killer's not invincible, Murdoch. Someone must have seen him.

Constable George Crabtree:
[as the ferret is searching for the blood trail, he runs up Murdoch's trouser leg] Hey, careful. sir! They're known to bite!

Detective William Murdoch:
Huh? What?

Constable George Crabtree:
Cut off access to your sensitive bits.

Constable George Crabtree:
Hey, wake up! Sir, I think we have a problem with this one.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
What is it?

Constable George Crabtree:
He's dead.

Detective William Murdoch:
I've never understood the appeal of alcohol, sir. It impedes the brain's ability to function, making it impossible to think clearly.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Well, that's just it, Murdoch. Don't you ever want to relax and stop thinking for a couple of hours?

Detective William Murdoch:
No.

Margaret Brackenreid:
Good-bye, Mrs. Nation. Have a pleasant journey.

Carrie A. Nation:
I'll do no such thing. Nor did I have a pleasant stay. May God have mercy on your damnable souls.

Margaret Brackenreid:
Thank you.

[Carrie Nation leaves]

Margaret Brackenreid:
[sighs] What a horrid woman!

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
I guarantee that woman drives more men to drink than she keeps away from it.

[last lines]

Detective William Murdoch:
The Junction's quite a nice town, actually.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
We could live here, if it wasn't so far from the city. Imagine, thirty minutes just to get to work. Plus it's about to go dry; what fun is that.

Detective William Murdoch:
Well, temperance has its virtues. A dry Canada could be quite remarkable.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
How so?

Detective William Murdoch:
With no more time wasted to the bottle, imagine the great heights of industry and ingenuity our nation could reach.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Well, if temperance truly is in our future, we should take advantage of it while we can.

Detective William Murdoch:
Julia!

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Just one little drink, William.

Detective William Murdoch:
Why not. You suppose they have spruce beer?

[first lines]

Constable Henry Higgins:
[to man on bench] Time to move along, old fella. Oy, I said wake up. Or is it a visit to the cells you're after? Right them, up with you. [sees a wound] Oh, holy jumping... [blows his whistle]

Dr. Julia Ogden:
This is a rather momentous occasion. I think we should be drinking something stronger.

Margaret Haile:
Au contraire,it is quite perfect. The advancement of women marked by the clink of china teacups.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
William, I agreed to do something rather bold.

Detective William Murdoch:
Oh, that would make a change.

Detective Hamish Slorach:
Well, gentlemen, it's been my experience that when a man chooses to diappear. he stays disappeared.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[defensively]... and your meaning, detective?

Detective Hamish Slorach:
He's off on a bender.

Constable George Crabtree:
Oh, sir, Detective Murdoch is a teatotaler... he practices teaotalism.

Detective Hamish Slorach:
Well, then, it's a woman.

Detective Hamish Slorach:
[He uses a flamboyant hand gesture to wich Brackenreid reacts] You've got him all wrong. Detective Murdoch is probably the most buttoned-down man you'll ever meet.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
You've got him all wrong. Detective Murdoch is probably the most buttoned-down man you'll ever mee.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[as the dead body is turned over] It's not Murdoch. That's a relief.

Detective Hamish Slorach:
[sarcastically indicating the corpse] Not for him.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
[last lines as the precinct celebrates Murdoch's return] Welcome home, doctor.

Detective William Murdoch:
Thank you doctor.

Detective William Murdoch:
[the officers cheer when they kiss] How have you been?

[first lines]

Butler:
Right on time.

[last lines]

Dr. Julia Ogden:
William! What are you doing here?

Detective William Murdoch:
Julia, I, I have something to ask you. [goes down on one knee] Julia...

Dr. Julia Ogden:
William!

Detective William Murdoch:
I sincerely hope that you could make me the happiest...

Dr. Julia Ogden:
No, William!

Detective William Murdoch:
...Man. Just a moment. By agreeing to...

Dr. Julia Ogden:
[in tears] William, I'm sorry. I ca- I just can't.

Detective William Murdoch:
What?

Dr. Julia Ogden:
I... [Julia enters her house and closes the door]

Detective William Murdoch:
Julia. Julia. Julia! Open the door! Julia, please, let me in! Julia! Julia, please!

[first lines]

Inspector Brackenreid:
Toronto is one of the safest cities in North America.

David Jennings:
Let us hope so, Inspector. After all, we *are* talking about His Royal Highness Prince Alfred. Queen Victoria is very, very protective over her grandson.

Inspector Brackenreid:
I have assigned two very experienced officers to make sure that the Prince's visit goes as planned.

David Jennings:
There are some lingering concerns.

Inspector Brackenreid:
Lingering concerns?

David Jennings:
The War Office has received information that the Irish may be plotting something against a member of the Royal Family.

Inspector Brackenreid:
This is Canada, sir. There's no need to worry about such things.

[Crabtree has just tackled the Prince]

Prince Alfred:
You know I could have you beheaded for this.

Constable George Crabtree:
Right now that would only be too merciful, Sir.

Inspector Brackenreid:
[Indicating Murdoch and Crabtree] They will be keeping a keen eye on the prince.

David Jennings:
Excellent, the prince can be something of a...

Detective William Murdoch:
...pleasure seeker.

David Jennings:
Yes, that's one way of putting it.

Detective William Murdoch:
His reputation precedes him, Sir, but no need to worry; he'll be in good hands.

Inspector Brackenreid:
Quite right. Detective Murdoch goes out of his way to avoid pleasure.

Detective William Murdoch:
[Hearing about the death of Eddie's wife and daughter t the hands of the British] I'm sorry. I had no idea.

Eddie Cullen:
So, how would you know? You're not a mind reader - you're a copper, sworn to uphold Her Majesty's rules.

Detective William Murdoch:
I uphold the law, Eddie.

Eddie Cullen:
Ah, well, there's a fine line between upholdin' the law and bein' a lacky, Will.

Eddie Cullen:
You fancy a pint?

Detective William Murdoch:
No, I'm still on duty. Perhaps another time.

Eddie Cullen:
Oh, yeah, the body's still the Lord's temple, eh, Will?

[first lines]

Girl:
I love your flower, Mr. President.

President William McKinley:
This? Why, this is my lucky flower! But you know what? [takes flower from buttonhole and hands it to her] Now it's your lucky flower.

Girl:
Thank you, Mr. President.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
What did I tell you, Murdoch. Bloody spies. Don't even try to understand 'em. Just like women.

Detective William Murdoch:
I know what you mean, sir.

[last lines]

Detective William Murdoch:
Julia.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Were you followed?

Detective William Murdoch:
No, of course not, I did exactly as you said. Julia, what on earth is going on?

Dr. Julia Ogden:
William, James Gillies is alive.

Detective William Murdoch:
What!

Dr. Julia Ogden:
I've been receiving threats from him. He said that, if we were to marry, that he would kill you.

Detective William Murdoch:
That's why you refused my proposal.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
I have a note to my office and a photograph, William. He's been following us.

Detective William Murdoch:
Julia, why didn't you tell me?

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Because. He said that if I did that he would kill us both.

Detective William Murdoch:
Julia.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Life without you, William, it is worse than death.

Detective William Murdoch:
Listen to me. Together we're stronger than anyone.

Detective William Murdoch:
What were you doing down at the sawmill?

Terrence Meyers:
I cannot answer that.

Detective William Murdoch:
Were you intending to meet Anton Woycek?

Terrence Meyers:
I can't answer that either.

Detective William Murdoch:
We found this, in a hidden pocket sewn into your waistcoat. Is it from Woycek?

Terrence Meyers:
I most certainly cannot answer that. I'm sorry, detective, it's a matter of national security.

Detective William Murdoch:
It's a matter of national security that I solve this man's murder.

Terrence Meyers:
Why?

Detective William Murdoch:
I can't answer that.

Detective William Murdoch:
[after hearing that she will be leaving to take a job in Buffalo] Julia, I thought we had an understanding.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
We do. I just don't know of what anymore.

Detective William Murdoch:
[to Tesla] The good news is the weapon will be fired. The bad news is the weapon will be fired.

Terrence Meyers:
Gentlemen, the winds of war never truly die down.

Constable George Crabtree:
Perhaps the future will allow for every home to have a potato cooking room.

Sally Pendrick:
My Dear Burt, the difference between the dead masters and you moderns is that the dead have better manners.

Luca Carducci:
[introducing himself] Signore Luca Carducci - at your service.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Insprctor Thomas Brackenreid.

Luca Carducci:
[Antonio extends his hand to shakes Brackenreid does not respond] The pleasure is mine.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Absolutely.

[first lines]

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Listen up, everyone. I'd like to introduce my nephew, Charlie Brackenreid. He's just arrived from London and has passed his training day with flying colours. Make him feel at home but don't go too easy on him.

Constable George Crabtree:
Always good to have another man on the blur team. George Crabtree.

Charlie Brackenreid:
Pleased to meet you, Crabtree.

Detective William Murdoch:
Detective William Murdoch. Welcome to Station House Number 4. I hope our fair city won't disappoint.

Charlie Brackenreid:
Thank you, sir. Very happy to be here.

Diana White:
Just be sure to keep this place to yourselves; we wouldn't want to begin attracting the *right* sort of people.

[last lines]

Lillian Moss:
Emily! What's the- [Emily kisses her. Lillian breaks the kiss] Is this what you want?

Dr. Emily Grace:
Yes.

Lillian Moss:
I'm not a toy.

Dr. Emily Grace:
I'm too grown up for toys.

[they kiss]

[first lines]

Constable George Crabtree:
[showing betting slip] Sir, fifty cents on William Murdoch.

Detective William Murdoch:
Oh, George, I'm afraid your money would be best spent elsewhere. I'm competing against professionals.

Constable George Crabtree:
Well, sir, I thought about that, and I brought you this. It's a caffeine drink, so it should level the playing field. Strength of a bull in a bottle there, sir.

Detective William Murdoch:
That's all right, George. I've created my own advantage. Sprockets.

Constable George Crabtree:
Sprockets, sir?

Detective William Murdoch:
Yes, yes. They allow me to change gears, offsetting pedaling resistance against gradient in the course.

Constable George Crabtree:
Sir, I hate to be the bearer of bad news; I've just read about this very invention in 'Cycler News'.

Detective William Murdoch:
Indeed, indeed. The difference, however, is I've created a system of rods, allowing me to change gears without dismounting.

Constable George Crabtree:
Sir, that's brilliant.

Detective William Murdoch:
Yes, yes!

Bobby Brackenreid:
Detective Murdoch for the win. Right, father?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Well, I suppose anything's possible.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Softie, am I? Listen to me, Sunshine. It's fortunate for you that I don't want my son witnessing two deaths in one day.

Dr. Emily Grace:
Whatever killed this man, it wasn't his heart.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
But isn't is always the last thing you find that offers the answer?

Dr. Emily Grace:
Quite true. Why do you suppose that is?

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Likely the same reason that toast always lands butter side down.

[last lines]

Detective William Murdoch:
Julia, it would seen Lesley Garland left behind somewhat of a reputation.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
How so?

Detective William Murdoch:
An altercation at Cornell University resulted in expulsion.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
You checked up on him, William?

Detective William Murdoch:
Well, if the young man's to be in your care, it's best we know whom we are dealing with.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
William, I believe you're jealous.

Detective William Murdoch:
I am not jealous.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
He's a little bit young for me, don't you think?

Detective William Murdoch:
I don't believe your beauty could be lost on anyone of *any* age, Julia.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Fine answer, William.

Detective William Murdoch:
But he's definitely too young for you.

Professor Harms:
What laws have we broken?

Detective William Murdoch:
To start with, it appears that you have violated the laws of physics.

Constable George Crabtree:
[to Higgins] And you're wrong about Dr. Grace. She's a modern woman, and in the new century relationships will be defined by a meeting of the minds, and I, my friend, am a 20th Century man.

Dr. Darcy Garland:
[after his hand jerks so much he drops a glass and cuts himself] I've been diagnosed with Huntington's Chorea.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
The degenerative nerve condition?

Dr. Darcy Garland:
It's inevitable. My father had it.

Detective William Murdoch:
[sympathetically] I'm terribly sorry.

Dr. Darcy Garland:
[with resignation] Hmmm... One must play with the cards one is dealt.

Detective William Murdoch:
And this is?

Hilda Gregson:
Toronto Adelphean Society, modelled after an American fraternity for women founded in 1851. Amazingly, the Americans began educating their women long before we did.

[last lines]

Constable George Crabtree:
Emily, you were about to win.

Dr. Emily Grace:
Of course I was.

Constable George Crabtree:
So, what? You threw away Paris for me?

Dr. Emily Grace:
Don't go getting a swelled head over it, George Crabtree.

Constable George Crabtree:
Good crack.

[first lines]

Constable George Crabtree:
Sir. These lads were on a training run when they discovered the body.

Detective William Murdoch:
Training?

Constable George Crabtree:
Yes, sir, for the upcoming Olympics in Paris, apparently.

Ralph Bridgewater:
Well, even though the club isn't sponsoring any track athletes. Apparently they don't think we can beat the famous George Orton.

Dr. Emily Grace:
Excuse me.

Ralph Bridgewater:
Emily Grace. Fancy meeting you here.

Dr. Emily Grace:
Ralph?

Ralph Bridgewater:
It's been a long time. I haven't seen you since you...

Dr. Emily Grace:
I called off my engagement, yes.

Detective William Murdoch:
Doctor Grace!

Ralph Bridgewater:
We miss you at the club.

Dr. Emily Grace:
I must go.

[first lines]

Nun:
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Head Nurse:
Mother Isidore, you called for me?

Nun:
He's taken a turn for the worse. He's burning up with fever, and he's been severely distressed.

Head Nurse:
It's only natural, given his situation. We're doing everything we can to make him comfortable.

Nun:
It's not his physical discomfort I'm talking about. It's his moral distress. Something is weighing on his conscience.

Head Nurse:
That's more your realm than mine. Father Gronan should be by in the morning.

Nun:
Well, that's why I called for you. He doesn't want a priest. He wants a policeman!

Mr. Jeffrey Roundhill:
Call them! In the name of God, this must be made right. I killed her.

Detective William Murdoch:
I need to question Mr. Roundhill again; where might he be?

Head Nurse:
Hades, I imagine.

Detective William Murdoch:
I beg your pardon?

Head Nurse:
Mr Roundhill is dead.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
William, something other than fine cuisine and my *charming* self is clearly taking your attention.

Detective William Murdoch:
Not at all, Julia.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
If whatever case has its teeth in you is interesting enough to distract you from lobster a la Chatillon, it must be fascinating.

Constable George Crabtree:
It seems unlikely to me. I mean, two men meet for the first time and make an agreement to kill each other's wives? What's the opening line in *that* conversation?

[last lines]

James Gillies:
[voiceover as Julia reads a letter from him] My dearest Julia, it appears our relationship has yet to come to an end, but you can be rid of me once and for all if you agree to my most simple proposition. You and Detective Murdoch must part, forever. If you marry him, he will die. If you inform him of this letter you will both die. Yours most fondly, James Gillies.

Detective William Murdoch:
[as a skeleton is uncovered] Gentlemen, I believe we've just made the acquaintance of Mrs. Roundhill.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
It's a tenuous link, William.

Detective William Murdoch:
Yes, but links turn into chains.

Inspector William Murdoch:
I made you angry earlier.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Yes.

Inspector William Murdoch:
I don't know why.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
The Inspector was being archaic and thick-headed and you just stood there

Inspector William Murdoch:
Julia... that was your argument. And for me to jump in as though you aren't strong enough to handle yourself in the situation somewhat defeats that argument

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Well, I only wanted your support.

Inspector William Murdoch:
And you have it. Completely. But I will not rescue you, Julia, because from everything I know about you... you don't need it.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Your logic is infuriating.

Inspector William Murdoch:
Not just a little bit winsome?

Dr. Julia Ogden:
Perhaps a little.

Inspector William Murdoch:
Good.

Inspector William Murdoch:
Not to be delicate, sir, but the lodge is an exclusive club, and where there is exclusivity, there are often secrets, and when there are secrets, there are those willing to do anything to keep them.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[after discovering the victim is a woman, not a man] I passed water with that - with that woman standing right beside me.

Inspector William Murdoch:
Fascinating, sir, but what's even more fascinating was that she wasn't just dressing like a man, she was living her life as a man.

Miriam Winter:
Leonard once told me that the biggest difference between a man and a woman was that men can keep a cool head... women cannot. What do you make of that?

Inspector William Murdoch:
[after a long pause] I guess he was wrong.

[first lines]

Samuel MacGinnis:
Gloves are worthless. I'll take the dress though. Two bits.

Louise Butler:
Please. It cost near three dollars. My mother gave it to...

Samuel MacGinnis:
To me it's worth two bits. Accept it or not. [she considers the offer] I'll even throw in this. [he tosses her a gray bundle of cloth] You can change behind there. [she goes through the curtain] Need some help back there?

Louise Butler:
I'm all right.

Samuel MacGinnis:
Long as you're sure.

[last lines]

Detective William Murdoch:
Sir, the Prince of Wales has said that any man who wins the Victoria Cross should keep it, even if he's to be hanged.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
The Prince of Wales *said* that?

Detective William Murdoch:
That's as it was reported. Food for thought. [Murdoch leaves]

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[as he writes a letter] Your Royal Highness. I am writing to you on behalf of Master Corporal Reginald Pullen. He was stripped of his Victoria Cross for Meritorious Service...

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[in the jail] It's a bit gloomy, isn't it?

Warden Browning:
Well, we're not running one of Mr. Kellogg's sanitoriums.

Constable George Crabtree:
[opening lines to Murdoch] Quite unexpected as you could imagine, sir. The nuns were about to lay Sister St. Ignatius to her final resting place when they noticed that her spot was, uh, well, it was spoken for, you might say, sir.

Sister Theresa:
When I was accepted as a novice, I was so happy. I knew that I'd be safe in God's house. How safe are we if a priest can be murdered here?

Detective William Murdoch:
[referring to the nuns] Do you think they're lying?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
They're nuns, Murdoch. They tell a fib, they go to, uh, limbo, don't they?

Detective William Murdoch:
More like purgatory, briefly.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
I don't understand these choices. We Protestants have Heaven or Hell - up or down - no messin' around!

Detective William Murdoch:
I find it hard to believe that God intervenes in murder investigations, Susannah.

Susannah Murdoch:
Who are we to assume God's priorities?

Chief Constable Giles:
You walk a fine line, Detective Murdoch. Mind you don't stumble on it!

Terrence Meyers:
Inspector Brackenreid, despite your opinions to the contrary, the Americans are an mportant, if somewhat unruly, ally of ours.

Allen Clegg:
What good are words when they fall on deaf ears? Sometimes raw power is the only thing people will listen to.

Detective William Murdoch:
And sometimes violence only serves to obscure the message.

Emma Goldman:
And who are you, sir?

Detective William Murdoch:
Another admirer, Miss Goldman.

Allen Clegg:
He was at the rally. He and his friend were almost arrested. They needed help.

Emma Goldman:
[to Murdoch] And what do you think?

Reginald Pierce:
[to Murdoch] Are you a pacifist?

Detective William Murdoch:
Well, I won't strike first, but I'll certainly strike back.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[referring to the footprints]... the man could be involved'

Jimmy McLeod:
Maybe... maybe not.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
What makes you say that?

Jimmy McLeod:
[looking at the footprints] Because now the tracks go the other way... and he was running.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Well, yea, he was fleeing the scene of the crime...

Jimmy McLeod:
...or running for his life.

Enid Jones:
...I think that it's better that you go.

Detective William Murdoch:
[She rises and he follows] So, this is it then?

Enid Jones:
What more can there be?

[first lines]

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Bloody hell! How much longer do we have to put up with this racket?

Detective William Murdoch:
Not too long, sir. They just need to break up the concrete so they can lay the drainpipe.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
Newfangled flush toilets! The pit was good enough for me. [the racket stops] Oh. Do you hear that?

Detective William Murdoch:
What?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
My thoughts. i can actually hear them.

[last lines]

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
You have to give the bugger credit for his guts, though. Not many men would have fallen on his sword for a friend.

Detective William Murdoch:
Actually, sir, he seemed... relieved, to get it off of his chest.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
is that how you felt? Confessing about Constance Gardiner?

Detective William Murdoch:
I suppose so. Yes. I did break the law.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
You chose justice over the law. You did right, Murdoch. By her... and by me. Good night.

Detective William Murdoch:
Good night, sir.

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
[looking at photograph] Oh my God! I remember when this was taken. I'd only been on the force two weeks.

Detective William Murdoch:
You remember that?

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
I'd just arrested Margaret.

Detective William Murdoch:
Your wife!

Inspector Thomas Brackenreid:
She'd got into a tiff over the lunch special at Maizie's. Such a tart tongue; full of sass even then.

Constable George Crabtree:
[referring to the lights one witness thought came from a UFO] He thought they looked extra-terrestrial, sir.

Detective William Murdoch:
[sarcastically] So, it's your feeling that this is the work of Martians, George?

Constable George Crabtree:
No, no, no, sir... Venusians! Venusians, sir, have a motive for invasion.

Detective William Murdoch:
And what would their motive be?

Constable George Crabtree:
Well, sir, Venus is permanenly beclouded. Clearly they have somehow managed to sully their own atmosphere and now covet our clear, blue skies, such as they are.

Detective William Murdoch:
[condescendingly] Now, George, why go to the trouble of killing Ivan Wallensky and faking his suicide when they could easily dispatch him with a death ray?

Detective William Murdoch:
Mr. Ford, why would a car that uses a gasoline engine need a battery?

Henry Ford:
At present, the engine needs to be hand-cranked. It's a problem - especially for the weaker sex. Wallensky's battery is just what I needed for an electrical ignition.

Detective William Murdoch:
So, it's just a coincidence then that by deprivng Mr. Pendrick of Mr. Wallensky of his battery, you would also be crushing your main competition.

Henry Ford:
I'm an engineer, Detective. I build cars. If I thought the electric car was superior, I would build electric cars, but the fact is the gasoline engine is superior.

Detective William Murdoch:
I've driven Mr. Pendrick's bullet. It was very impressive.

Henry Ford:
I've no doubt of that. I'm sure it's lightweight, streamlined.

Detective William Murdoch:
Yes, very much so.

Henry Ford:
It has to be, but the gasoline-powered car, on the other hand, can weigh a ton and look like an egg crate, but it can be driven a thousand miles because all it takes to keep it going is another tank of gasoline, and gas is cheap and always will be. There's an ocean of oil under the Texas desert.

[first lines]

Detective William Murdoch:
So, Henry?

Constable Henry Higgins:
Sir, I...

Detective William Murdoch:
It's all right; don't be afraid. [laughs triumphantly as bulbs light up]

Constable Henry Higgins:
What's that, sir?

Detective William Murdoch:
Something I've been experimenting with. It's, uh, an induction balance machine.

Constable Henry Higgins:
OK, sir. And it turns on lights, does it? 'cause we have switches for that.

Detective William Murdoch:
It's capable of far more than that.

Constable George Crabtree:
[enters] Sir, it seems there's been - [his whistle flies out horizontally on its chain] Sweet Mother of...

Detective William Murdoch:
You see, it can detect metal. Could be very useful in gathering evidence.

Constable George Crabtree:
Yes, sir. Make it stop please.

Winston Churchill:
Oh, look, a bulldog. I always thought they should be enshrined as our national symbol.

Detective William Murdoch:
Because of their stubborn tenacity?

Winston Churchill:
No, because they look so much like our queen. Of course, given my fondness for food and drink, I may end up looking like one myself someday.

Detective William Murdoch:
Well, you've had an eventful stay, Mr. Churchill. Perhaps material for your memoirs someday.

Winston Churchill:
I rather think I'll restrict my memoirs to the events I actually remember, Detective. This hasn't exactly been my finest hour.

[last lines]

Detective William Murdoch:
Julia. I *will* stand by you. If you divorce, I will marry you.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
And your faith, how will you reconcile that?

Detective William Murdoch:
I'll accept the consequences of my decision. No matter what the Church says, I refuse to believe that love, any love, could be wrong. And I love *you*.

Dr. Julia Ogden:
And I you.