The Tromaville Caf

Michael Herz:
I started to take my on-screen persona too seriously. Well, to tell a long story short, I killed Lloyd's family.

Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD:
God, why does bad things happen to good people?

God:
Because it's funny! Hey? Wanna go get drunk?

Steve:
I just love high school movies! They remember me about my own high school and how everyone loved me and how good I was in football. Then I remember that high school's over... and I'm pretty much of a loser now.

Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD:
[shouts] You suck, Steve!

Melvina:
Michael, what happened here?

Michael Herz:
Lloyd went nuts! Well, actually, he's always been nuts. But now he's got a gun!

Michael Herz:
Lloyd, you wacky youngster.

Lloyd Kaufman:
I'm gonna blow my f***ing brains out! How's that for wacky?