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Billy Conway: Mom's in the hospital. They took a lot of her female stuff out, like her filipino tubes. Everything except her Aunt Mildred.
Louise: You know what they say, when God closes a door, he opens a beer.
Gloria Conway: I've got static to watch.
Ray Conway: I'm the spokesperson for all useless bastards of the world.
Gloria Conway: [to Billy, after he confesses to being the streaker at the convenience store] And you said, "I need to air my balls and steal from Drummond."
Billy Conway: He'll call.
Gloria Conway: And the pope has a key to the playboy mansion.
Gloria Conway: I'm about to take my estrogen pill. And a nerve pill. Make that two nerve pills.
Mrs. Smolensky: We all pay for our mistakes, Billy. You paid for yours long before you made them. Now you got to stop paying. See what the world has to offer.
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"Accidents Happen Quotes." Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2017. Web. 21 Nov. 2017. <http://www.quotes.net/movies/Accidents Happen>.