Oh my gosh, I have to tell you this story. Freshman year, Alan hooked up with two girls at a bar - Renee and Jackie. So he's going back and forth between the two of them all semester... until they found out about each other.
So, what? He got dumped?
No! They had a threesome! I come home that night to find this huge mass of flesh and-
DAVID! Why would you tell me that?