Trouble with Harry 
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Capt. Wiles: Blessed are they who expect nothing, for they shall not be disappointed.
Miss Graveley: How old do you think I am young man?
Sam Marlowe: Hmm... fifty. How old do you think you are?
Miss Graveley: Forty-two! I can show you my birth certificate.
Sam Marlowe: I'm afraid you're going to have to show more than your birth certificate to convince a man of that.
Miss Graveley: What seems to be the trouble, Captain?
Captain: A real handsome man's cup.
Miss Graveley: It's been in the family for years. My father always used it... until he died.
Captain: I trust he died peacefully. Slipped away in the night?
Miss Graveley: He was caught in a threshing machine.
Jennifer Rogers: He looked exactly the same when he was alive, only he was vertical.
Captain: Marriage is a good way to spend the winter.
Jennifer Rogers: You can stuff him, for all I care. Stuff him and put him in a glass case, only I'd suggest frosted glass.
Sam Marlowe: What did he do to you? Besides marry you.
Sam Marlowe: Perharps I'll come back tomorrow.
Arnie: When's that?
Sam Marlowe: The day after today.
Arnie: That's yesterday. Today's tomorrow.
Sam Marlowe: It was.
Arnie: When was tomorrow yesterday?
Sam Marlowe: Today.
Arnie: Oh, sure. Yesterday.