Doctor Detroit

Clifford Skridlow:
Nothing can destroy the Doctor!

Karen Blittstein:
'Morning, Stretch. Are you getting taller or did I break a heel?

Clifford Skridlow:
[waking from a nightmare where his mother becomes a prostitute] NO! No, I will not sell my own mother!

Margaret Skridlow:
[walking in on him] Of course you wouldn't, dear. But it's a sweet thought.

Diavolo Washington:
[as Sidney Poitier] They'll call me *Mister* Diavolo!

Clifford Skridlow:
[as Doctor Detroit] I make adjustments to the human spine!

Clifford Skridlow:
Do you have any idea how college faculty members eat? On what we get paid, a free meal is like honey to a bear to these people! They're going to want to eat enough to hibernate on! They're animals!

Carson:
Mom! It's all over the street!

Mom:
What?

Johnny:
Doctor Detroit's movin' in! They say we're movin' out!

Mom:
Oh, the Hell you say. I haven't even met the Doctor. [takes shot of liquor] But when I do, [crushes shot glass in bare hand] he's dog meat!

Clifford Skridlow:
[posing in court as Thelma's brother, upon hearing the bailiff read from the docket] I can't believe my ears! This is an outrage! Let me see that thing. I mean this is outrageous, ridiculous! Let me see that. Why, I demand satisfaction! Get the arrestin' officer in here! I will tar and feather the scalawag!

Johnny:
I'm gonna kick your ass!

Clifford Skridlow:
[as Doctor Detroit] I warn you, I'm a chiropractor! I will use my skills negatively!

Clifford Skridlow:
[towards the end of a rant as Doctor Detroit]... Mom, if you want trouble - I am talking about scorched earth, no survival, whole-sale destruction... body-bags and fire TROUBLE [smashes car windshield] then you just keep comin' on!

Mom:
You don't know what trouble is, jerkoff!

Clifford Skridlow:
Mom, I am going to rip off your head and sh*t down your neck.

Judge:
That girl is COLORED!

Thelma Cleland:
Honey, nobody 'colored' me! I was born this way!