Well, it's a nice night, and I have to walk Camille. Do you want to take a walk with me?
No. No. Well, you see, I'm starting to like you, and if we're going to walk I'm just going to like you even more, and then one day we might even end up in love and everything will go on fine for a while, but-but then one day *bang* you're gonna call me a selfish compulsive bastard! You're gonna pull your hair, you're gonna scream and you're gonna say you never want to see me again because I drive you crazy, and I'm left shattered. Now, who needs that? Good night!"
These are the simple rules. No barking, now growling, you will not lift your leg to anything in this house. This is not your room. No slobbering, no chewing, you will wear a flea collar. This is not your room. No begging for food, no sniffing of crotches, and you will not drink from my toilet. This is not your room.