Dragon Age: Origins

Duncan:
The Chantry teaches us that it is the hubris of men which brought the darkspawn into our world. The mages had sought to usurp Heaven. But instead, they destroyed it. They were cast out, twisted and cursed by their own corruption. They returned as monsters, the first of the darkspawn. They became a blight upon the lands, unstoppable and relentless. The dwarven kingdoms were the first to fall. And from the deep roads, the darkspawn drove at us again and again, until finally we neared annihilation... until the Grey Wardens came. Men and women from every race, warriors and mages, barbarians and kings, the Grey Wardens sacrificed everything to stem the tide of darkness, and prevailed. It has been four centuries since that victory, and we have kept our vigil. We have watched and waited for the darkspawn to return. But those, who once called us heroes, have forgotten. We are few now, and our warnings have been ignored for too long. It may even be too late, for I have seen with my own eyes what lies upon the horizon. Maker help us all.

Leliana:
I am a woman and I reserve the right to be inconsistent!

[the Warden is about to undergo the Joining ritual]

Duncan:
We speak only a few words prior to the Joining. But these words have been said since the first. Alistair, if you would?

Alistair:
Join us, brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten... and that one day, we shall join you.

Alistair:
Before us stands the might of the darkspawn horde. Gaze upon them now, but fear them not! This man beside me is a native of Ferelden, risen to the ranks of the Grey Wardens. He is proof that glory is within reach of us all. He has survived, despite the odds. And without him, none of us would be here. Today we save Denerim. Today we avenge the death of my brother, King Cailan! But most of all, today we show the Grey Wardens that we remember and honor their sacrifice! For Ferelden! FOR THE GREY WARDENS!

Morrigan:
Ah, so you have finally decided to rejoin us, have you? Falling on your blade in grief seemed like too much trouble, I take it?

Alistair:
Is my being upset so hard to understand? Have you never lost someone important to you? Just what would you do if your mother died?

Morrigan:
Before or after I stopped laughing?

Alistair:
Right... very creepy. Forget I asked.

Alistair:
Were you really locked up in that cage for twenty days?

Sten:
It may have been more like thirty. I stopped counting after a while.

Alistair:
What did you do? Twenty days is a long time.

Sten:
On good days, I posed riddles to passers-by, offering treasures for the correct answers.

Alistair:
Really?

Sten:
No.

Bann Teagan:
It's... Tomas, yes? And who are these people with you? They are obviously not simple travelers.

Shale:
Oh, GOOD eye.

Arlessa Isolde:
Who is this man, Teagan?

Bann Teagan:
Were it not for his help, Isolde, I would not be here. I owe him my life.

Shale:
And we crush the heads of rude women when we feel like it. Just so you know.

Sten:
[entering a dwarven tavern] Is this... some sort of mass suicide?

[the Landsmeet has voted against Logain]

Teyrn Loghain Mac Tir:
Traitors! Which of you stood against the Orlesian Emperor when his troops flattened your fields and RAPED YOUR WIVES? You fought with us once, Eamon! You cared about this land once, before you got too old and fat and content to even see what you risk! NONE OF YOU deserve a say in what happens here! None of you have spilled blood for this land the way I have! HOW DARE YOU JUDGE ME!

Brother Genitivi:
After all, no one wants to hear: "Willy toiled for many a year to perfect the curious mechanisms that would send a sharpened spike up the arse of the unwary intruder".

Arl Rendon Howe:
Sire? I have more news. Err... yes. Well, it seems that the fighting has gone exactly as you...

Queen Anora:
[interrupts] Enough! I would like to know what you intend to accomplish, Father. Should we not be fighting the darkspawn instead of each other?

Teyrn Loghain Mac Tir:
The nobility shall be brought into line and then the darkspawn defeated. This is no true blight, Anora. Only Cailan's vanity demanded it be so.

Arl Rendon Howe:
Beg your pardon, Sire. But blight or no, we may not have the manpower to face the darkspawn soon.

Queen Anora:
Cailan approached the Orlesians for support, did he...

Teyrn Loghain Mac Tir:
[interrupts] NEVER! Maric and I drove those bastards OUT! We will not roll out the welcome for them now!

Queen Anora:
We need help, father! We cannot deal with this crisis alone!

Teyrn Loghain Mac Tir:
FERELDEN WILL STAND ON ITS OWN! I will lead it through this, Anora! You must have faith in me!

Queen Anora:
Did you kill Cailan?

[Long silence]

Teyrn Loghain Mac Tir:
Cailan's death was his own doing.

[Anora storms out, upset]

Oghren:
Yep, lotta tension around here

Alistair:
You think so? Do you?

Oghren:
Know what I do to relieve tension?

Alistair:
I hesitate to wonder

Oghren:
I polish the 'ol weapon [chuckles]

Alistair:
Really?

Oghren:
Yep. Give it a good shine with a dry rag. Then with a little grease

Alistair:
That's disgusting!

Oghren:
You're telling me you never gave your blade the 'ol spit shine?

Alistair:
I think that's private

Oghren:
Really? [chuckles] Sodding Chantry and its rules. I like to do it right out in the open

Alistair:
Where people can SEE you?

Oghren:
Yep!

Alistair:
Wait... What are you talking about?

Oghren:
What are YOU talking about?

Morrigan:
There's no fool like a drunken fool. So Mother told me, and 'tis still true.

Morrigan:
Oh, lovely. Shall we next begin rescuing little kittens from trees?

Alistair:
Somebody's been drinking.

Morrigan:
That's a most offensive odor!

Oghren:
And you're looking at me?

Morrigan:
Should I be looking elsewhere? Have you forgotten about the fish you stored in your backpack, perhaps?

Oghren:
I was saving it. Won't be ready for the lye for at least another day.

Morrigan:
Even the Chasind did not have such disgusting habits, and they consumed the flesh of the dead.

Oghren:
Fine, fine. I'll soak it in the lye now. Have it your way, Miss Squeamish.

Morrigan:
That's not what I... no, never mind. Just... get it over with. Quickly.

Oghren:
Shave my back and call me an elf! Branka? By the Stone, I barely recognized you!

Leliana:
Yes...? Something you need?

Player:
Can you teach me to be a bard?

Leliana:
Hmm... There's an idea. I've watched you and I do think you'd find some of my skills quite easy to pick up. Let's just go over there, away from the others. For safety, yes? I expect there shall be daggers flying about willy-nilly for a time.

Wynne:
Why do you occasionally refer to Alistair as "a little pike twirler"?

Oghren:
Why? Has the little pike twirler taken offense?

Wynne:
It's just a curious description.

Oghren:
Curious? Heh, nah it's entirely true. What, you haven't seen him twirling his pike? Goes at it when he thinks no ones watching, knocks about in the trees like there's no tomorrow. Caught him just the other day, blushed all the way down to his navel, then couldn't find his shirt. I swear he's gonna hurt himself one of these days, the way he works that thing.

Wynne:
I don't want to hear this anymore do I?

Oghren:
I keep telling him pike's are for sticking things at long range, aye? Horses and such. Not for twirling like a sissy girl.

Wynne:
Wait, you're talking about an actual pike? Like a spear?

Oghren:
Obviously. What else would I be talking about?

Carroll:
You! You're not looking to get across to the tower, are you? Because I have strict orders not to let anyone pass!

Player:
I am a Grey Warden and I seek the assistance of the mages.

Carroll:
Oh, You're a Grey Warden, are you? Prove it.

Player:
I have these documents here...

Carroll:
Yes? Oh, a Grey Warden seal. A-ha. So you're claiming to be one of those. You know, I have some documents, too. They say I'm the queen of Antiva. What do you think of that?

Player:
Aren't queens female?

Carroll:
Don't question royalty! Anyway, it was nice chatting with you. Now, on your way. Right now. Go.

Player:
Your superior won't like that you've given me trouble.

Carroll:
He won't know if you never get in, will he? Ooh, I've outsmarted you! If I were more flexible I'd pat myself on the back!

Morrigan:
Couldn't we work something out?

Carroll:
That dark-eyed temptress over there... surely the tower would be far too dull for her. Because it gets a little lonely out here sometimes... and you know, you could just leave her here with me...

Morrigan:
Oh, excellent! I have been hoping for new prey!

Carroll:
Prey?

Morrigan:
'Twill take but a moment. Perhaps you should go aboard the vessel to prepare while we are away. We must row ourselves across. I fear the lad will no longer have the use of his limbs... or his eyes, once I am done with him.

Carroll:
Er... maybe I should...

Morrigan:
Wonderful! I can sense his terror! Oh, that will make the loving all the sweeter...

Carroll:
So, you said you wanted to get across? Maybe we should go now. Right now. NOW.

Teyrn Loghain Mac Tir:
What's on your mind?

Zevran Arainai:
You know who I am, yes? I was one of the Crows you hired to kill the Grey Wardens.

Teyrn Loghain Mac Tir:
I thought you looked familiar.

Zevran Arainai:
Well, I just wanted to report that I failed my mission, Loghain.

Teyrn Loghain Mac Tir:
You don't say.

Zevran Arainai:
I'm terribly broken up over it.

Teyrn Loghain Mac Tir:
Hm. Well, thank you kindly for informing me.

Warden:
[in the Proving Arena] May the dirt taste good when I feed it to you.

Oghren:
Let's show them our hearts, and then show them theirs.

Teyrn Loghain Mac Tir:
Daughters never grow up, Anora. They remain six years old with pigtails and skinned knees forever.

Teyrn Loghain Mac Tir:
Hate doesn't describe it, I see painted masked lords beat an old farmer to death with riding crops. To this day I don't know why, is that hate? I saw senseless good men fighting Chevaliers with nothing! No weapon, no armies, not even hope of success to see the occupation end, is that hate?

Sandal:
Enchantment?

Player:
You're surrounded by darkspawn corpses! What happened here?

Sandal:
Enchantment!

Morrigan:
We now have a dog and Alistair is still the dumbest one in the party.

Oghren:
[when leaving Orzammar for the first time] Give me a moment.

Player:
Is everything all right?

Oghren:
Of course everything's all right! Psht! Just give me one sodding moment. By the Stone, I feel like I'm about to fall off the world with all that sky up there.

Player:
Is it that strange to you?

Oghren:
Strange? Ha. Strange is your wife turning out to prefer the ladies. Not living in a world without a bleeding ceiling.

Oghren:
They tell you what to wear in the Chantry?

Leliana:
You have robes and such that you must wear.

Oghren:
And uh, so. Robes. What else?

Leliana:
Well... sometimes there are vestments and ceremonial garments...

Oghren:
Right. Right. And... and then?

Leliana:
Why are you so interested in this?

Oghren:
Oh sod it. Under the robes: pants? No pants?

Leliana:
What?

Oghren:
Stop stalling. Naked or not?

Leliana:
What difference does it make?

Oghren:
All right. Stonewall me. I'll find out one way or the other.

Leliana:
Uh, right. Good luck with that.

Zevran Arainai:
Might I offer you a bit of advice, my good friend Alistair?

Alistair:
I like my hair the way it is, thank you.

Zevran Arainai:
Truly? As you wish, though my advice is regarding something else completely. It has to do with your recent... exertions with your fellow Grey Warden that I overheard.

Alistair:
My... oh.

Zevran Arainai:
It did seem as if you just got going when all grew quiet. You are feeling alright, yes? Perhaps you are tired.

Alistair:
We aren't talking about this, are we? Did I hit my head?

Zevran Arainai:
I have some roots from home that you may chew if you need energy. As for volume, perhaps you ought to try arching your...

Alistair:
Whoa, whoa! Awkward!

Zevran Arainai:
You Fereldens are so finicky! How will you ever learn to pleasure each other unless you talk about it?

Alistair:
Not listening! La la-la la la!

Zevran Arainai:
Has anyone told you what marvelous eyes you possess, my dear?

Morrigan:
Again with the flattery! Do you not tire from these pointless exercises?

Zevran Arainai:
In Antiva, women are accustomed to being showered with the praise they deserve. Men should worship you at their feet as you pass!

Morrigan:
They don't find that incredibly annoying?

Zevran Arainai:
They are goddesses receiving their subjects, just as you should be. Whatever would be annoying about that?

Morrigan:
I have no wish to be placed upon a pedestal!

Zevran Arainai:
But you deserve no less! You should be admired by painters, copied by sculptors, exalted by poets. Surely you know yours is a beauty so exotic, it-it would turn the eye of the Maker himself!

Morrigan:
Well, I suppose I...

Zevran Arainai:
And there we go! I think you owe me five silvers, yes?

Alistair:
Maker's breath! You were right. You win, I guess.

Zevran Arainai:
Thank you, ser. I expect payment forthwith.

Morrigan:
I hate you all!

Morrigan:
Have a care where your eyes linger, Alistair.

Alistair:
Yes well, don't worry. It's not what you think.

Morrigan:
I see.

Alistair:
I was looking at your nose.

Morrigan:
And what is it about my nose that captivates you so?

Alistair:
I was just thinking that it looks exactly like your mother's.

Morrigan:
I hate you so much!

Alistair:
Hmm? What?

Morrigan:
Never mind!

Leliana:
Zevran, I saw you looking at the girl in town earlier.

Zevran Arainai:
My dear Leliana, which girl? I saw many, and I watched them all.

Leliana:
You know, the one with the... with the shoes.

Zevran Arainai:
The shoes? Yes, good reference.

Leliana:
Well, she also had blonde curls, worn in a long braid.

Zevran Arainai:
A braid...? Ah, that one! Yes, I remember her.

Leliana:
So what did you think? You seemed quite enthralled.

Zevran Arainai:
Well, she was... quite marvelous, except for the butter face.

Leliana:
The butter what?

Zevran Arainai:
Butter face. Everything's marvelous but her face.

Leliana:
You're a bad man.

Leliana:
So, you and Alistair...

Player:
Why that impish look?

Leliana:
You and Alistair. Together, looking contented. You even have a... glow about you. So shameless.

Player:
I'm not glowing.

Leliana:
Of course you aren't! Leliana's just seeing things again, isn't she? So, how is Alistair...?

Player:
He looks fine to me.

Leliana:
You know what I mean. Alistair and you... those long nights. He must be quite delightful... you wouldn't be so happy otherwise, I think. He's athletic; that's always nice. He is also good at following instructions, isn't he?

Player:
Yes. Sometimes he has brilliant ideas of his own, too.

Leliana:
Ooh. Fascinating. The little templar is all grown up and apparently he... ahem... plays well with others.

Alistair:
What are you giggling about? W-what is she giggling about?

Player:
Uh... darkspawn.

Alistair:
Right. Yes, you're giggling about darkspawn. So funny, them darkspawns!

Oghren:
You saw it! Tell that thing to give it back!

Player:
Oh, are you having "Oghren Time" again?

Oghren:
Only if by "Oghren Time" you mean... yes. But that dog ruined it when he stole my pants. But I'll show him. I don't need my pants, anyway.

Player:
Oghren, you're wearing your pants.

Alistair:
[Offering a rose to a female Warden] Here, look at this. Do you know what this is?

Player:
Your new weapon of choice?

Alistair:
Yes, that's right. Watch as I thrash our enemies with the mighty power of floral arrangements! Feel my thorns, darkspawn! I will overpower you with my rosy scent!