DuckTales: Remastered

[first lines]

[a robbery goes on at Scrooge's money bin]

Scrooge McDuck:
Curse me kilts! Me money bin alarm! Quick, Duckworth, get the limo!

Scrooge McDuck:
Not the Beagle Boys again... if the think they can get between Scrooge McDuck and his three cubic acres of cash, they've got another thing coming!

Huey:
[in a cage] The Beagle Boys messed with your security system!

Baggy Beagle:
Duh, yeah, we's taken over the whole place!

Scrooge McDuck:
GAH! Me money!

Huey:
Hey, don't forget about me, Unca Scrooge!

Scrooge McDuck:
Huh?... Oh! Don't worry, lad, I'll save ya!

Burger Beagle:
Hey, kid, you got a sandwich or something?

Dewey:
[in a cage] Let me go, you Beagle Bum!

Baggy Beagle:
[clouted on the head] Now that's what I call a stomachache!

Scrooge McDuck:
You were hit on the head, yeh moronic marauder!

Bouncer Beagle:
Not so fast, McDuck. We're running things around here, now!

Scrooge McDuck:
Curse me kilts! One false move, and I'm a roast duck!

Louie:
[in a cage] Leave me, Unca Scrooge! It's not worth it!

Scrooge McDuck:
Nonsense, me boy!

Duckworth:
[as Scrooge and Bigtime Beagle fight] Oh, dear. Do be careful or you'll scuff the floor!

[the nephews hear about a treasure buried ten miles underground]

Dewey:
There's no mountain on earth that's that high!

Huey:
Well, according to the Junior Woodchuck's Guide Book, to get there we've have to take about 537 million steps straight up, till we reach the moon.

Dewey:
You mean the MOON moon?

Scrooge McDuck:
Step away from me fortune, yeh crook!

Bigtime Beagle:
[puts on a helmet] Not this time, McDuck! You ain't getting the drop on this Beagle Boy!

Launchpad McQuack:
You got your radio, Mr McDee?

Scrooge McDuck:
Aye, of course I do.

Launchpad McQuack:
Great! Then I'll be your eyes in the sky!

Scrooge McDuck:
I'd be happy if you'd just keep your eyes ON the sky, for once... [walks off]

Scrooge McDuck:
What an airhead...

Launchpad McQuack:
[on radio] Hey, I heard that!

Launchpad McQuack:
[on radio] You haven't stumbled across a pizza joint down there, have ya, Mr McDee? I'm getting kinda hungry up here...

Scrooge McDuck:
I'm not even going to dignify that question with a response.

Scrooge McDuck:
[in the Amazon jungle] This place is a mess! Where's Mrs Beakley when you need her?

Launchpad McQuack:
[on radio] This is Launchpad, Mr McDee! Come in, Mr McD...

[crash!]

Scrooge McDuck:
Launchpad, what was that?

Launchpad McQuack:
Uh, nothing, boss... I'm sure nobody was using that tree anyway...

[Angry monkeys are heard on the radio]

Launchpad McQuack:
Uh, except maybe them... and them... and also them!

Scrooge McDuck:
You know, I bet those Incans could have minted a whole lot more coins if they hadn't tried to make each one unique...

Launchpad McQuack:
[on radio] I'm running a little low on fuel up here...

Scrooge McDuck:
Well, where are the extra fuel canisters?

Launchpad McQuack:
[awkward laugh] Well, that's why I'm calling yah, boss. I checked the glove compartment, but all I found was gloves.

Scrooge McDuck:
You'd best find those fuel canisters, or the next thing you'll be flying is a model airplane!

Launchpad McQuack:
Okay, okay! Yeesh! Last time I ask you for help...

Scrooge McDuck:
Is that a promise?

[Scrooge comes across a stone disk with circular holes]

Launchpad McQuack:
Oh, you must have come across an ancient Incan poker table, Mr McDee! How about I come down here and you deal me in for a hand?

Scrooge McDuck:
You come down here and I'll deal you a blow to the head! You're supposed to be keeping an eye out for trouble, remember?

Launchpad McQuack:
You know, Mc McDee, I had a thought.

Scrooge McDuck:
Launchpad, why start now and spoil a perfect record?

Launchpad McQuack:
That's a good question!

Scrooge McDuck:
Well, I don't have all day! What was your thought?

Launchpad McQuack:
Come to think of it... I forgot.

Scrooge McDuck:
Launchpad, were you dropped on your head much as a child?

Launchpad McQuack:
All the time! Why?

Scrooge McDuck:
Magica DeSpell, I should have known you'd be behind this!

Magica De Spell:
Oh, Scroogey my old friend, you wouldn't believe how much fun it is watching you run around making a fool of yourself!

Scrooge McDuck:
What?

Magica De Spell:
Oh, you really don't think you need ancient sorcery to find Coin of Lost Realm, do you? No, I had Beagle Boys hide paper scraps to throw you off trail!

Scrooge McDuck:
Why, you sneaky conniving...

Magica De Spell:
Please, save compliments for garden party!

Scrooge McDuck:
What garden party?

Magica De Spell:
The one I throw in celebration, when I get home with Lost Coin! So long, fools!

Magica De Spell:
[defeated] Blast these inferior mirror and beam spells! Is last time I shop for spell ingredients at discount store!

Huey:
Do you think Magica will keep out of our way now, Unca Scrooge?

Scrooge McDuck:
It's hard to say, lad. Folks like her have a habit of popping up at the most inconvenient moments.

Louie:
Well, when it comes to Magica, there's no such thing as a convenient moment!

Scrooge McDuck:
This is it, kids! Draculesti Manor, home of the legendary Drake Von Vladstone, heir to the Coin of the Lost Realm!

Scrooge McDuck:
[at a diamond mine in Africa] I can feel all those diamonds singing to me. And it's a right pretty song, too!

Louie:
[about the mine] You mean there weren't any ghosts down there?

Scrooge McDuck:
That's right! As I've told you boys, there's a rational explanation for everything!

Louie:
Yeah, a whole kingdom of underground creatures who cause earthquakes as part of a game is a completely rational explanation.

Scrooge McDuck:
Uh, aye... never mind, boys. The point is, we made it back with the Giant Diamond of the Inner-Earth, and gained an entire diamond mine in the process!

Scrooge McDuck:
Now, you boys stay put and look after wee Webbigail. I'll be back with the treasure in no time.

Huey:
Aww, nuts! We want to come with you, Unca Scrooge!

Scrooge McDuck:
Dinnae worry, I'll be back with the treasure before you can say "e pluribus unum"!

Huey:
E purple-bus whoo-um?

Louie:
Yeah, I'm not sure that's as fast as you think it is...

Dewey:
Besides, we should we have to stay here just because Webby's a big chicken?

Huey, Louie:
Yeah!

Louie:
We're not afraid of... whatever's hiding out there... are we?

Webby:
You boys are so mean! I'll show you who's not afraid of the dark!

Scrooge McDuck:
Pack my parka, Duckworth! We're headed to the Himalayas, to hunt for the Lost Crown of Genghis Khan!

Duckworth:
Shall I forward your calls, sir?

Scrooge McDuck:
Launchpad, I told you to land in the center of the mountain range, not in the center of a mountain!

Dewey:
[about Burger Beagle] That guy gives me the heebie-jeebies, he was starting to look at me like I was lunch!

Bubba:
Skooge save Bubba! Skooge save Bubba!

Scrooge McDuck:
It's a long way to the moon, lads, but the Green Cheese of Longevity will make it worth the trip! Up, up and away!

Scrooge McDuck:
You're worth your weight in gold, Mrs Beakly... er, if you'll pardon the expression.

Scrooge McDuck:
[on Gizmoduck's wheel] I've always wondered what Gyro was thinking when he designed this thing. Who fights crime with a unicycle?

[Webby wants to go to the Himalayas]

Scrooge McDuck:
Not this time, Webby darling, I need you here looking after the boys. Otherwise, who knows what kind of actual trouble they could get into?

Webby:
Oh... that's very smart. [leaves]

Huey, Dewey, Louie:
Unca Scrooge!

Scrooge McDuck:
Indulge me, lads, the last thing this expedition needs is a wee lass about, and I'm gonna have enough trouble looking after Launchpad...

[on the moon]

Scrooge McDuck:
Now, Gyro, why in the blazes are we chewing this awful blue muck?

Gyro Gearloose:
Why, that's Oxy-Chew, Mr McDuck! It's my latest invention: oxygen-flavoured taffy! Five good chews, and you can breathe on the lunar surface without a space suit! Oh, and it tastes good, too!

Scrooge McDuck:
That, Gyro, is a matter of opinion...

Scrooge McDuck:
[sees Bubba Duck frozen ] Looks like the poor little peabrain got caught in a deep freeze! [sets him free]

Launchpad McQuack:
No worries, Mr McDee, I've got the coordinates for Shadow Pass locked in! We'll be there lickety-split!

Flintheart Glomgold:
More like lickety-splat!

Scrooge McDuck:
Glomgold!

Flintheart Glomgold:
Nice to see ye, McDuck! Especially since you've led me right to the treasure! To whom do I owe my thanks - your idiotic pilot, or did yeh play it safe and let those two wee ones fly the plane?

Scrooge McDuck:
You dirty cheat, only you could sink so low!

Launchpad McQuack:
And at 15000 feet, no less!

[a rumble is heard]

Launchpad McQuack:
[checks his tummy] Wasn't me.

Webby:
Then what was it? [a roar is heard again]

Launchpad McQuack:
[frightened] That definitely wasn't me!

Scrooge McDuck:
Whatever it was, it won't last long if it tries to get between me and the Lost Crown!

Webby:
Uncle Scrooge, don't go!

Scrooge McDuck:
Dinnae worry, lassie, whatever is in that cave is no match for your Uncle Scrooge. I earned my fortune by being smarter than the smarties, and tougher than the toughies. If anything's in there, it had better step aside!

Webby:
But I'm scared!

Scrooge McDuck:
Stay with Launchpad, he'll take good care of you! [goes off]

Webby:
Stay with Launchpad? Gee, now I'm EXTRA scared!

[Webby communicates with the female yeti]

Webby:
W She says she's sorry if she hurt you. She's just upset 'cause she stepped on a thorn, and can't get it out.

Scrooge McDuck:
A thorn? You don't suppose... [checks out the yeti's foot]

Scrooge McDuck:
Here's your thorn, Webigail: the Lost Crown of Genghis Khan!

Webby:
The pretty crown, you found it!

Scrooge McDuck:
Aye, the poor creature was standing on it! Webby, I cannae thank you enough! I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. Without your help we never would have found the treasure! Oh, and thanks to you too, ma'am! [the yeti roars]

Webby:
[giggles] I think she likes you, Uncle Scrooge!

Launchpad McQuack:
That's odd, usually it's me the ladies go gaga for...

Scrooge McDuck:
The Lost Crown of Genghis Khan is mine, lads! All it took was a bit of tenacity and perseverance!

Webby:
And a little kindness and patience, right Uncle Scrooge?

Scrooge McDuck:
Right you are, Webby darling. Now, where's Bubba run off to?

Huey:
Yeah, where is he? He was here a minute ago...

Bubba:
[offscreen] Why dolls no answer Bubba?

Louie:
He's over there, having a tea party with Webby's toys.

Bubba:
No? Bubba smash!

Dewey:
Uh-oh, Webby, sounds like Bubba's not getting along so good with your Quacky Patch dolls...

Webby:
[runs offscreen] HEY! You keep away from my dolls, mister!

Scrooge McDuck:
Er, remember, kindness and patience, Webigail! Set a good example for the lad!

Fenton Crackshell:
[at a spaceship] Look, here's someone who can give us directions! Hello? [gets abducted]

Fenton Crackshell:
Mr McDuck! HEELLLP!

Gyro Gearloose:
Oh, no! We've got to save him!

Scrooge McDuck:
Do we really?

Gyro Gearloose:
We do if you want to find that treasure of yours, Mr McDuck! Fenton was carrying the Gizmoduck suit, that's the only thing we've got powerful enough to break into the Moon Vault!

Scrooge McDuck:
Uh, Gyro... I, uh, think I left my favourite two-dollar bill under the back seat, would you mind getting it for me?

Gyro Gearloose:
Sure thing, Mr McDuck! [goes into the ship]

Fenton Crackshell:
Gee, boss, why'd you send Gyro back onto the ship?

Scrooge McDuck:
So he doesn't find out you're Gizmoduck when you put on that suit, you dunderhead!

Fenton Crackshell:
But there are only three of us here, sir. Won't he figure it out anyway when Gizmoduck appears and I've mysteriously vanished?

Scrooge McDuck:
I wouldnae worry about that. Gyro may be a brilliant inventor, but his deductive reasoning skills are about as good as yours.

Fenton Crackshell:
Oh... Hey!

Scrooge McDuck:
Say your secret code word and activate that confounded contraption!

Fenton Crackshell:
Code word?... Gee, I cant remember it. Oh, blathering blatherskite, I'm useless! [the suit activates and fits on Fenton]

Gizmoduck:
I mean, I'm useful to the extreme! Point me towards the offending blockade so that I may deal justice upon it!

Scrooge McDuck:
Cut the dramatics, would yeh, and follow me!

Gyro Gearloose:
Mr McDuck? Fenton? Gizmoduck?... They're gone. And all I could find was this two million dollar bill. Oh well, back under the seat it goes...

Scrooge McDuck:
Flintheart Glomgold! What are you doing here, yeh pernicious pilferer?

Flintheart Glomgold:
[on the moon] Why, same as you, Scroogey: trying to corner a segment of the dairy market!

Scrooge McDuck:
Giant moon rat or no giant moon rat, nothing's going to keep me from that green cheese... and all the green it's gonna make me!

Scrooge McDuck, Flintheart Glomgold:
Magica De Spell!

Magica De Spell:
It's so rude of me to drop in unannounced!

Scrooge McDuck:
What are you doing here, Magica? Quick, somebody sound the alarm! Duckworth! Mrs Beakley! Call the Pentagon! Sell me stock and bonds!

Magica De Spell:
Not so fast, fools! [freezes everyone around her]

Magica De Spell:
Hah! Greedy old fools! These treasures are far more valuable than money!

Flintheart Glomgold:
And just what do you mean by that?

Magica De Spell:
[to Scrooge] You find secret hidden inside old painting, yes? Painting of Drake Von Vladstone, also known as Count Dracula Duck! These treasures are part of spell to summon him!

Scrooge McDuck:
Bah! What rubbish!

Magica De Spell:
You will see! With power of Dracula Duck under my command, I will rule the world!... Unless you'd care to surrender Number One Dime, Scrooge. Dime is gentler way to conquer world, will save me great deal of trouble. Also less risk of accidental Dracula bite.

Scrooge McDuck:
The first dime I ever made? Never!

Magica De Spell:
Then I will take precious nephews instead! You will bring me dime quickly enough, after that!

Scrooge McDuck:
How about a deal? You help me get the boys back, and you can keep the five treasures!

Flintheart Glomgold:
Without your dime, I'll become the richest duck in the world, and you'll be a nothing but a shriveled up old has-been!

Scrooge McDuck:
That dime's not worth ten cents next to the safety of my boys. Do we have an agreement?

Flintheart Glomgold:
You know what I think, McDuck? I think you've gone soft. You've let those pesky rugrats become a business liability... and I'm gonna be the richer for it!

Scrooge McDuck:
Oh, go soak your head!

Scrooge McDuck:
What's the matter, gold bricks in your caboose?

Flintheart Glomgold:
Aw, shut your beak! You're not getting any younger yourself, yeh old windbag!

Flintheart Glomgold:
[ahead of Scrooge] Get a move on, McDuck!

Scrooge McDuck:
Age before beauty, Flinty!

Flintheart Glomgold:
[swipes Scrooge's dime] It's been great doing business with you, Scroogey! [gets away]

Scrooge McDuck:
[to Magica] You two, you've been in cahoots from the beginning!

Magica De Spell:
Noo, even before beginning! Do you remember who sold you painting in first place? 'Twas ME in disguise, you fool!

Scrooge McDuck:
Why, you... no wonder it was such a bargain!

Magica De Spell:
Five dollar painting for you, saved expensive treasure-hunting expedition for me!

Magica De Spell:
And now, at long last, I am ready to use treasures to complete spell!

Scrooge McDuck:
Enough with the smoke and mirrors routine! You've got my dime, now release the lads!

Magica De Spell:
Oh, boo-hoo! No time for buyers' remorse from old has-been! Better to stick with master plan, is much more exciting! I now summon Dracula Duck! [summons the vampire]

Magica De Spell:
Dracula Duck, I, Magica DeSpell, have summoned you to do my bidding! You must obey my will, and mine alone! And my will is that you destroy this meddling old fool!

Huey:
We knew you'd save us, Unca Scrooge!

Magica De Spell:
Now, give me dime!

Flintheart Glomgold:
Not till you give me those treasures! I want to be filthy stinking rich!

Magica De Spell:
You already are filthy stinking rich!

Flintheart Glomgold:
But not as rich as that chiseler McDuck! Where's the treasure?

[Magica takes Huey, Dewey and Louie from the Beagle Boys]

Bigtime Beagle:
Hey, dem's is our hostages! Find your own!

Magica De Spell:
Quiet, PIG-gle boys! [turns the Beagle Boys into swine]

Magica De Spell:
Now, I take leave. Bring Number One Dime to my home on Mount Vesuvius in 24 hours, or little nephews will become snackula for Dracula! [cackles]

Magica De Spell:
Oh, dear. Sometimes I still get carried away...

Scrooge McDuck:
Me Number One Dime, returned safe and sound!

Huey:
But Unca Scrooge, what about the treasure?

Dewey:
Yeah, we had it and we lost it.

Huey:
Sorry, Unca Scrooge.

Scrooge McDuck:
Come on now, boys. We may not have gotten to keep the treasure, but we had the adventure of a lifetime! And best of all, we got to share it together! You, Webigail, Launchpad...

Huey:
And Duckworth too!

Dewey:
Don't forget Mrs Beakley!

Louie:
And Bubba and Gyro and Fenton, they helped us too!

Scrooge McDuck:
Indeed they did, lads! Now come on, let's head for home!

[in the sky]

Magica De Spell:
Let go of me, you doddering old deadweight!

Flintheart Glomgold:
Oh, pipe down, you mangy bird!

Launchpad McQuack:
It was real swell of you to give Glomgold a lift home, Mr McD! [Glomgold and the Beagle Boys are in a paddy wagon]

Scrooge McDuck:
Uh, I'll put it on your bill, Flinty. You can pay me back in, oh, three to five years - with interest of course! [laughs]

Flintheart Glomgold:
I'll get your for this, McDuck! Mark my words! [is taken away]

Scrooge McDuck:
Now there's a sight I never get tired of...

[last lines]

Scrooge McDuck:
Come on, lads, let's head to the ice cream shop!

Huey, Dewey, Louie:
Woohoo!

Dewey:
Hey, can we each get our own cone this time, Unca Scrooge?

Scrooge McDuck:
Ah, why not, I'm in a generous mood today! In f act, each of ye can even get a cone with ice cream in it!