Grabbers

Tadhg Murphy:
'Tis no feckin' lobster!

Garda Lisa Nolan:
It's always the quiet places where the mad sh*t happens.

Garda Ciar?n O'Shea:
Sl?inte.

Garda Lisa Nolan:
What is that thing?

Dr. Adam Smith:
I haven't a clue. I've never seen anything like it before. It's a completely foreign species. I can't even begin to originate or class it.

Paddy Barrett:
A "grabber."

Dr. Jim Gleeson:
In all my years I've never seen anything like it.

Brian Maher:
Light me!

Brian Maher:
You bring potcheen into my bar?

Paddy Barrett:
A bird never flew on one wing.

Garda Lisa Nolan:
Get away from him, you cuuuuuunt!

Dr. Adam Smith:
I can't feel my face!

Dr. Adam Smith:
Your floor is broken.

Garda Ciar?n O'Shea:
[Touching the seemingly dead alien species] It's dead, right?

Dr. Adam Smith:
Ummm, I'm not sure.

Garda Ciar?n O'Shea:
[Moves away cautiously] You're not what?

Dr. Adam Smith:
Basic tests I've done so far have shown up nothing usual or normal. It is beyond mystifying. I mean, really, I can't be sure without opening it up.

Paddy Barrett:
[Swiftly beats it with a stick; it doesn't move] Ah... Tis dead.

Dr. Adam Smith:
I need a photograph with it for National Geographic! And Facebook.

Garda Lisa Nolan:
You're drunk.

Garda Ciar?n O'Shea:
No, I'm not. No.

Garda Lisa Nolan:
Is that right?

[Ciar?n chuckles]

Garda Lisa Nolan:
Say the alphabet backwards for me.

Garda Ciar?n O'Shea:
Em... Zed... Et cetera.

Garda Lisa Nolan:
I hope you're not driving.

Garda Ciar?n O'Shea:
No. I'm taking Johnny's horse. Yah.

Garda Lisa Nolan:
You're going to ride a horse while intoxicated?

Garda Ciar?n O'Shea:
Yeah, so? The horse is sober.

Garda Ciar?n O'Shea:
What killed him, Jim?

Dr. Jim Gleeson:
The fact that he's just a head. You bring me someone with a head cold or a headache and I could do something, but you bring me just a head and you're taking the piss. Jesus, they could bury him in a shoe box.

Garda Lisa Nolan:
Doctor, we need to know.

Dr. Jim Gleeson:
He was mauled in some way by some... animal or... something. I dunno. A tiger?

Garda Lisa Nolan:
Looks like it should be nice out.

Una Maher:
Ah, there's a storm coming.

Garda Lisa Nolan:
Oh? Really?

Una Maher:
Mmm.

Garda Lisa Nolan:
Are the gulls flying low or something?

Una Maher:
No, it was on the telly.

[gestures to TV weather forecast]

Una Maher:
You're throwing a party?

Garda Ciar?n O'Shea:
Yeah.

Una Maher:
Why?

Garda Ciar?n O'Shea:
Who needs a reason to have a laugh, ha-ha-ha?

Garda Lisa Nolan:
[slurring] It's a welcome party for me.

Una Maher:
Welcome party? But you're leaving in a fortnight.

Garda Lisa Nolan:
So it's a goodbye party, whatever.

Una Maher:
You only just got here.

Garda Lisa Nolan:
[slurring, to O'Shea] What's her problem?

Garda Ciar?n O'Shea:
What is it, Paddy?

Paddy Barrett:
Wouldn't you like to know?

Garda Ciar?n O'Shea:
Not really, no.

Paddy Barrett:
You would, though.

Garda Ciar?n O'Shea:
No, not really.

Paddy Barrett:
You would. If you were to know what I know, you'd want to know.

Garda Ciar?n O'Shea:
All right, tell us then.

Paddy Barrett:
[leans in] Right, so, between you and me, I caught meself a sea monster today. Swear to God, may he strike me down. You don't believe me?

Garda Ciar?n O'Shea:
Not a bit.

Paddy Barrett:
I am no liar.

Brian Maher:
Ha!

Paddy Barrett:
Feck off, you!

Garda Ciar?n O'Shea:
All right, where is it?

Paddy Barrett:
In me bathtub.

Garda Ciar?n O'Shea:
In your bathtub.

Paddy Barrett:
Having a bath.

[Paddy laughs]

Garda Ciar?n O'Shea:
Goodnight, Paddy.

Garda Lisa Nolan:
Smith said it needs water, right?

Garda Ciar?n O'Shea:
Pfff... says a lot of things.

Paddy Barrett:
Mostly bollocks.

Garda Lisa Nolan:
Whatever. But if it needs water to survive, how could it be movin' about on dry land?

Paddy Barrett:
It was rainin'. When it's rainin', there's no such thing as dry land.

Dr. Adam Smith:
Youuuu... really are Irish!

Garda Ciar?n O'Shea:
If we taint our blood with booze, we're poisonous to eat.

Garda Ciar?n O'Shea:
As, as, as... flattering as it is... to hear a... a beautiful drunk s-slurrin' her feelings for me... now's not the time.

Paddy Barrett:
I say we feed it Father Potts. Unless it eats sh*t, it'll choke to death.

What’s the matter, Bono? You got stage fright?

This was said by the fella taking a piss outside the pub just before he got taken by Grabber. Seems to have been cut from the Netflix version....interesting