Judge Roy W. Bean:
Don't spill none of that liquor, son. It eats right into the bar.

Judge Roy W. Bean:
Shad Wilkins, you've been tried and found guilty of the most serious crime west of the Pecos, to wit: shooting a steer. Do you got anything to say for yourself before the sentence of the court is executed?

Shad Wilkins:
I told you they shot at me first. I didn't mean to kill that steer on purpose. I was aiming at the man.

Judge Roy W. Bean:
It's your bad luck you missed him. That's the trouble with you sodbusters...you can't shoot straight. Shad, may the Lord have mercy on your soul.