Eunice:
Oh, I'm not looking for romance, Howard. As the years go by romance fades and something else takes its place. Do you know what that is?

Howard:
Senility?

Eunice:
Trust!

Hugh:
I find that as difficult to swallow as this potage au gelee.

Judy:
How would you like to swallow one sandwich d'knuckles?

Judy:
You don't wanna marry someone who's gonna get all wrinkled, lined and flabby!

Howard:
Everyone gets wrinkled, lined and flabby!

Judy:
By next week?

Judy:
I know I'm different, but from now on I'm going to try and be the same.

Howard:
The same as what?

Judy:
The same as people who aren't different.

Eunice:
And these men tried to molest me.

Judge Maxwell:
That's...

Judge Maxwell:
unbelievable.

Judy:
I don't know who he is but I hate him.

Eunice:
Don't you know the meaning of propriety?

Judy:
Propriety; noun: conformity to established standards of behavior or manner, suitability, rightness, or justice. See "etiquette."

Judy:
I can't see!

Howard:
There's nothing to see really, we're inside a Chinese dragon.

Howard:
You! You!

Judy:
Eu-nice. Eunice. We've almost gotten that stammer cured.

Howard:
How! How!

Judy:
How-ard. Howard. He always gets stuck on names. It must be the excitement of meeting you for the first time.

Judy:
Love means never having to say you're sorry.

Howard:
That's the dumbest thing I ever heard.

Judy:
Eunice? That's a person named Eunice?

Judy:
Well, this last time was not my fault.

Howard:
What happened?

Judy:
Nothing, nothing, really. It was just a little classroom, it sort of burned down.

Howard:
Burned down?

Judy:
Well, blew up actually.

Howard:
Political activism?

Judy:
Chemistry major.

Howard:
I see.

Hugh:
Don't touch me, I'm a doctor.

Judge Maxwell:
Of what?

Hugh:
Music.

Judge Maxwell:
Can you fix a hi-fi?

Hugh:
No.

Judge Maxwell:
Then shut up!

Fritz:
I am afraid one of our guests has lost something.

Eunice:
Well, I fail to see how it could possibly be in here unless it crawled here under its own power.

Fritz:
Precisely Miss Burns.

Eunice:
What are you saying?

Fritz:
It appears one of our guests, a wealthy eccentric, has lost his pet snake.

Fritz:
Calm yourself, Miss Burns. May I suggest you shut yourself in the bathroom for a few moments while I search your room?

Eunice:
What if it's in there?

Fritz:
Impossible, madam. Snakes, as you know, live in mortal fear of... tile.

Howard:
I'm not repeating myself. I'm not repeating myself. Oh, God, I'm repeating myself.

Judge Maxwell:
Judy!

Judy:
Hello Daddy...

Judy:
Steve, you didn't tell me you were married.

Howard:
We're not married.

Judy:
Congratulations.

Eunice:
But we will be soon.

Judy:
Condolences.

Howard:
Good morning.

Mr Kaltenborn:
No, I don't think so. I'm Mr Kaltenborn, the manager of what's left of the hotel.

Howard:
I'm sorry about all this whole mess here. Usually this doesn't happen.

Mr Kaltenborn:
Doctor Bannister, I have a message for you from the staff of the hotel.

Howard:
What is it?

Mr Kaltenborn:
Goodbye.

Howard:
That's the entire message?

Mr Kaltenborn:
We would appreciate it if you would check out.

Howard:
When?

Mr Kaltenborn:
Yesterday.

Howard:
That soon?

Banquet Receptionist:
This woman claims to be a Eunice Burns.

Eunice:
I am not A Eunice Burns, I am THE Eunice Burns!

Delivery Boy:
I want my bike back!

Judge Maxwell:
I'll give you your bike back - I'll give you a broken back if you don't be quiet.

Howard:
Mr. Larrabee, it's a privilege to meet you. I'm Doctor Howard Bannister.

Headwaiter:
And I'm your headwaiter, Rudy.

Howard:
Good morning.

Mr Kaltenborn:
No, I don't think so. I'm Mr Kaltenborn, the manager of what's left of the hotel.

Howard:
I'm sorry about all this whole mess here. Usually this doesn't happen.

Mr Kaltenborn:
Dr Bannister, I have a message for you from the staff of the hotel.

Howard:
What is it?

Mr Kaltenborn:
Goodbye.

Howard:
That's the entire message?

Mr Kaltenborn:
We would appreciate it if you would check out.

Howard:
When?

Mr Kaltenborn:
Yesterday.

Howard:
That soon?

Judy:
Has anyone ever told you that you are very, very sexy?

Hugh:
Well, actually no.

Judy:
They never will.

Eunice:
Now, tell me how you are going to introduce yourself.

Howard:
What? Oh, well, I'll probably say something like "Hello there, Mr Larrabee. I'm Howard."

Eunice:
You are not.

Howard:
I am not Howard.

Eunice:
You are not going to say "Hi, my name's Howard." Anyone could say that! Anyone.

Howard:
Anyone named Howard.

Judy:
What's up, Doc?

Howard:
I beg your pardon?

Judy:
We gotta stop meeting like this.

Howard:
I think you've made a mistake. You see, I only came in here for something for a headache.

Judy:
You're gonna need an awful big glass of water to get that down.

Howard:
What? No, you see I was just testing this specimen for inherent tonal qualities. I have this theory about early man's musical relationship to igneous rock formations. But I guess you're not interested in igneous rock formations.

Judy:
Not as much as I am in the sedimentary or metamorphic rock categories. I mean, I can take to igneous rocks or leave 'em. I relate primarily to micas, quartz, feldspar. You can keep your Pyroxenes, magnetites and coarse grained plutonics as far as I'm concerned.

Howard:
I forgot why I came in here.

Judy:
Headache.