Humping:
I'm Humping, the butler.

Barney:
Oh, yeah? So who's fucking the maid?

Barney:
I wanted to thank you for only giving me the clap. These days it's refreshing to meet a girl with curable diseases.

Roy Raja:
My name is Roy Rahmataj.

Barney:
Hey, mind if we call you Roy Raja? Haha!

Roy Raja:
You may call me "Lion of Kashmir".

Barney:
And you may call me "The Boner of East L.A."

Barney:
Who's this? Your son?

Adm. Storey:
No, he's... uhhh

Mrs. Storey:
He is my nephew.

Barney:
Ohhh, your nephew. He looks Iranian to me. You know my sister, Maria, she married an Iranian guy. And they are hairy son of a bitches. You know they got hair on their chest, their backs, their butts. We're talking Winnie the Pooh. We're talking Chewbacca, you know the guy in Star Wars who goes AHHHH! AHHHH!