Poker Night at the Inventory

The Heavy:
I am reminded of time engineer kill my entire team.

Tycho Brahe:
Damn heavy, that's... heavy. I'm sorry to hear that.

The Heavy:
I search entire base for him. He tries to kill me with turret and mini-turret, but I crush his toys like they are made of paper.

Strong Bad:
Sound like some crappy toys, if you ask me.

The Heavy:
Then I find him, hiding by teleporter. I take his gun away from him. He tries to hit me with wrench [laughs] . So I take wrench away from him. I take his wrench and shove it down his throat, all the way down to the handle.

Tycho Brahe:
Christ!

The Heavy:
Then I rip off all his fingers, one by one! Let's see you build toys NOW! [laughs] There is blood everywhere! And he is crying! [laughter] I think he cries out for mother, but... [laughter] the wrench is stuck in his throat! And it sounds like [imitates a choking noise] ! [laughs] Is this not the funniest thing?

Strong Bad:
[Stunned silence] That is some f***ed up s***, man!

The Heavy:
When I was boy, I was at camp, being trained in many ways of combat.

Max:
Assassination camp for kids. Oh, this is gonna be good!

The Heavy:
There was sparrow, sitting on fence. Snow falls quietly around me. Without notice, another boy jumps from behind tree, and kills sparrow with throwing knife. The boy runs away.

Max:
And then?

The Heavy:
I pick up sparrow and hear his last breath before digging him tiny grave.

Tycho Brahe:
[sobs]

Strong Bad:
That's not even a little bit funny, man

The Heavy:
No. It's not.

Strong Bad:
Hey, Heavyman, do you think you could take care of the King of Town for me?

The Heavy:
I can assassinate King. Yes. Is expensive though.

Strong Bad:
Whoa, whoa, whoa! By "take care of", I meant maybe you and I could sneak into his room and shave off half his mustache.

The Heavy:
I am not best at sneaking.

The Heavy:
[he and Strong Bad continue their discussion about dealing with the King of Town] I am not best at sneaking.

Strong Bad:
Maybe we could confront him in a dark alley then?

The Heavy:
This is better. That way blood wash away in rain.

Strong Bad:
Oh man, you're going to totally murder the King of Town, aren't you? Oh well!